Do The "Right" Thing

Mike Vaccaro has some, um, interesting suggestions as to what the Mets should do in the wake of the injury that Francisco Rodriguez "almost certainly" sustained when he assaulted the grandfather of his children last week:

So K-Rod is kaput for now, and now the Mets must prove they have the intestinal fortitude for more. If ever there was a situation that screamed for a baseball club to do the right thing, to send an unbending message, it is now.

First, they have to fight to void that portion of the contract that will coincide with his time away from the team. That means the rest of this year, at a minimum.

And then they have to rid themselves of the headache for good. If that means exiling Rodriguez in the offseason — a move that would almost certainly entail them having to eat most of his remaining deal — that’s fine. If that means going after the balance of the contract in what would be a precedent-setting move the commissioner’s office would probably rather them not fight — even better.

Obviously, the Mets are going to do what they can to void this year's portion of the contract, because I'm pretty sure that if Aaron Boone tearing his knee apart playing basketball negates his deal with the Yankees, injuries sustained while punching someone in the face (if they can prove that) would do the trick for K-Rod.

But is Vaccarro really suggesting that the Mets should eat Rodriguez's 2011 salary of $11.5M and a buyout of $3.5M in order to "do the right thing" and "send an unbending message"? What message would that be and who would it be directed towards, exactly? That would be a pretty damn expensive statement to make. It would be way cheaper to just take out a full page ad in every newspaper in New York.

The bottom line is that, in the world of guaranteed contracts, getting "fired" doesn't really mean anything, because you still get paid, so the intended message wouldn't even be reaching the person at the center of this whole embarrassing episode: K-Rod. The deal he signed with the Mets before the 2009 season was worth $37M. Although we are desensitized to those kinds of numbers because of the megadeals that other guys sign, that is still generational wealth.

If Rodriguez never gets another dime or playing baseball after this, he is still set for life. However, even if the Mets send the sort of bullshit "message" that Vaccaro is talking about, some other team is invariably going to give him a shot because he can get Major League hitters out. That's how sports work. It's not about morality, it's about winning (and the money).

Victory Parade Pictures

The parade today was a pain logistically - to be expected when you cram a couple extra million people into Manhattan on a Friday morning - but I managed to get a couple pretty good pictures (culled from a ton of other shots of other people's hands and cameras) and wanted to post them here.

Ladies and gentlemen, your 2009 World Series MVP.

And Paul Blart, Mall Cop.

Miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiichael Kay.

Freddy Sez with his frying pan/sign combo. If I hadn't seen this, I would have assumed that they had to shake him awake on a park bench somewhere to get him to come along.

A-Rod, giving the Jay-Z/Rocafella hand gesture and wearing a very goofy-looking hat that he may or may not have bought from Justin Timberlake.

Alfredo Aceves and his wife (I'm guessing), along with Phil Hughes right behind him and Brian Bruney on the far right.

Surprised they didn't make Bruney walk.

Get it? Because he gives up too many walks!!!!1!1one!!exclamationpoint!

Sabathia and Teixeira with the appropriate signage.

Mr. Derek Jeter, but that's not the best part of the picture, in my opinion. It's that pretty much everyone is holding up a camera.

Jeter with his parents behind him, Minka Kelly on the left and a roll of toilet paper in his hands. Unlike A.J. Burnett, who gunned the one that was thrown to him back into the crowd, Jeter politely tossed it aside.

Me taking a pictre of someone taking a picture of Joba who's taking a picture of us.

/universe implodes

Andy Pettitte and his family. Tell your wife to stop texting, dude.

Mariano Rivera waving a Panamanian flag. He "closed" the parade, you could say.


The scene was... interesting. There was very nearly a big fight that broke out because a group of thuggish kids thought someone "was invading their territory". Word for word, I swear. Guys, there are about 3 people per square foot down here, no one has "territory".

We got of at the Rector St. stop on the 1 line and the cops weren't letting people walk up to Broadway. Instead we had to go all the way down to Battery Park and get to Broadway from there. Coming around the Citi Bank building there was a total human gridlock. Some geniuses were yelling for everyone to "just move" as if there were some people blocking the way who just needed to be reminded of that. Others were encouraging people to "keep pushing", which from my experience with dense pedestrian traffic isn't the safest thing to do.

There were a bunch of little fuckers (maybe 15-16 year old kids) that decided it would be a great idea to bodypaint themselves white with pinstripes and the number 27 on their back, apparently not realizing that they'd be brushing up against people all day. The people behind us had noisemakers and kept running into TGI Friday's to take shots during the parade. If the Yankees have the best fans in the world, they weren't at the parade today.

But that's fine. We saw it. It was awesome. There a couple of moments where I got the chills watching players go by and the ticker tape fall down. And that's about all you can ask for, right?

Lessons In Advanced Hindsight, With Mike Lupica

Good morning, Fackers. I think most rational people understand that one of the fundamental concepts of decision making is that you have to make your choice based on the information which was available at the time. Of course, Mike Lupica doesn't fall under the umbrella of "most rational people".

You surely know Lupica from his columns in the Daily News, his Matt Christopher-esque children's sports books, or as the wildly-gesturing smarmy douche on The Sports Reporters who sits on the edge of his seat partially because he feels that he's far too important to be seated in a semi-circle and partially because if he leaned back, his feet wouldn't touch the ground.

Anyway, in today's Daily News, Mike conveniently smothers Joe Girardi's decision to use only his three best starters in the World Series in a thick coating of hindsight, two days after any other course of action could have been chosen:

Joe Girardi knows the deal as well as he knows his way out to the mound. He's right about using only three starters in the postseason if the Yankees win, tonight or tomorrow night.

I love how Lupica sets up the scenario by saying "Girardi knows the deal". Yeah, he knows that if the Yankees lose, he's going to get second guessed by assholes like Lupica who were so convinced that the Yankees should throw Chad Gaudin in Philly that they... didn't write a word about it despite having a column in a newspaper dedicated to writing about sports.

He's right if Andy Pettitte does the job in Game 6 on three days' rest that A.J. Burnett didn't do Monday night. Or he's right if this thing plays all the way out and CC Sabathia carries everybody across the finish line. Girardi just better be right about three days' rest for these guys after being up three games to one.

So was Charlie Manuel right for holding Cliff Lee back to give him his normal rest even though he gave up 5 earned runs because the Phillies won Game 5? Of course! What did you want to judge the outcome based on his "performance" or "availability in a possible Game 7"? Fools.

Because if the Yankees blow this Series, if the Phillies come all the way back, then Yankee fans are going to wonder how the Yankees could spend $206 million on baseball players and not have enough left under the bed to buy a reliable fourth starter.

No, Mike, they're not. That's what they'd be wondering if the Yankees missed the playoffs. Like they did last year. When they spent $209M.

The Yankees have had a payroll over $184M since 2004 and that year none of the 4 guys who started more than 20 games for them had an ERA under 4. In 2005, their 4th starter was either Jaret Wright or Kevin Brown who both had ERAs over 6 and they needed Aaron Small and Shawn Chacon to patch together their rotation. The following year it was Cory Lidle. In 2007, it was Roger Clemens and we all remember how well that worked out in the playoffs!

You have to be a special kind of stupid to wait until the team is one win away from their first World Series in 9 years to start complaining about their lack of a #4 starter.

Oh by the way, the reason they don't have a #4 starter isn't because they "didn't have enough money left under the bed". It's because Chien Ming Wang, who had been their best pitcher over the previous three years, suddenly decided to suck. And Joba Chamberlain, who everyone wanted to go back to the bullpen (including Lupica, obviously), is back in the bullpen.

They will wonder at the same time about how much they think they could get for a copy of "The Joba Rules" on eBay about now.

How much are your books selling for on eBay, Mike? Let me check. One dollar.

There are still a lot of smart, passionate, grudge-holding Yankee fans who want to talk about all the pitching mistakes that Joe Torre made when the Red Sox started to come back on the Yankees in 2004. But when Torre came home in that American League Championship Series, the way Girardi's Yankees come home now, here were Torre's starters:

Jon Lieber, Game 6.

Kevin Brown, Game 7.

Right, so why are you complaining about the rotation this year?

Josh Beckett went on three days' rest in Game 6 of the 2003 Series, Marlins against the Yankees. Everybody screamed that Jack McKeon was making a huge mistake, that he should wait and pitch Beckett on full rest in Game 7 if it came to that. The Marlins manager went all in with Beckett and he pitched one of the most dominating close-out games in the history of the World Series.

He made McKeon right because he won.

Mike Lupica's decision making rubric: Win = Right, Lose = Wrong.

So Mike Lupica's son is dribbling down the court in a CYO game two minutes into the game and decides to fire up a short from half court. It goes in. From the stands, Mike yells "GREAT DECISION, BUDDY!"

Mike Lupica is playing in a poker tournament. Someone raises in front of him. He looks down at the 2 of hearts & the 4 of clubs and pushes all in. His opponent calls with pocket aces but the board reads 3-5-6-K-8. Mike sees that he made a straight and screams "I OUTPLAYED YOU!"

The best decisions are the ones that are most likely to succeed if the scenario is played out over and over again. And guess what. Feeding Chad Gaudin - who lefties have hit .293/.389/.433 off in his career - to the Phillies in Citizens Bank Park isn't one of those decisions.

Clash Of The Cretins

I didn't know there was a "Daily Show Sports Team", but this is awesome. (h/t Big League Stew)


I'm not sure what they had to tell those people to get them to do so much dumb shit in front of camera (presumably) for free, but it's probably the same kind of spiel that gets girls to take their shirts off for "Girls Gone Wild" or people to interact with Sasha Baron Cohen for Ali G., Bruno or Borat. Apparently it applies to sports as well.

Step 1: Assemble a camera crew. Step 2: Travel to the parking lots of the nearest professional sports arena (preferably football). Step 3: Say you are taping for some sort of a TV show/news program/documentary and, Step 4: Ask a bunch of drunken, idiotic sports fans how much they hate the opposing team. Magic!

Come to think of it, couple this with what we learned in the last post and a small amount of venture capital, and I think we'd have enough content to keep this site running through the end of football season.

Interv-YOOOOOUUUUK

Clones! Our boy Youk was on the internet radio show of a certain ESPN-affiliated blowhard who I'm not going to name here. Since his site is behind a pay wall, he probably wouldn't take too kindly to me ripping the interview and posting it on this site, but I'm going to do it anyway. Just for you. So let's keep this between us, alright?

Some highlights:

• If you don't already know whose radio show this is, he says his name about 4 seconds into the clip.
  
  
• Youk addresses the Yankees' recent run of success at 3:53
  
  
• They get to the Rick Porcello incident around the 5:00 mark. He claims that he "wasn't being selfish", he was just "making a stand for [him]self", which sounds kinda selfish.
  
  
• The subject of David Wright's helmet pops up at 7:45 which leads Youk to say "I always say that 95% of the reason why people can't play baseball is because they're scared of the ball", which is kind of like saying that 95% of people can't play football because they are scared of getting tackled. Yeah, that and the minor ingredients of athleticism and genetic physical prowess. But you're right, Youk, that can't make up more than 5%. You're just so much braver than everyone else. Dick.
  
  
• Youk refers to the fake Twitter feed that was pretending to be him at 12:40. I'm an idiot.
  
  
• It's long but actually a pretty good interview so have a listen.

The Undoucheification Of The New Stadium Has Begun

Via our pal Ross from New Stadium Insider, who was at the game last night, comes the news that the Peter Max Art Gallery has been removed from the Field Level of the New Yankee Stadium in favor of a New York Yankees Women's Team Store. Soooo, people don't buy art work when they go to baseball games? Could a store that caters to the ladies with enough disposable income to be sitting in seats that cost hundreds of dollars might be a little more profitable? Shocking!

I wrote a post earlier on in the season about the divide between the Field Level and the rest of the Stadium and dropped a photo of the Peter Max gallery to illustrate how far over the top it the Yanks have gone.

It's good news that they've responded so quickly to their obvious misstep and hopefully they'll be willing to change some other unpopular things that don't have such a direct connection to the bottom line.

Weekend Pissing Match Round Up

The 2009 Yankees have taken to passing around a replica WWE Championship Belt to the player of the game after each victory, and the wrasslin' mentality seems to be taking hold. In a week that saw the Yankees face the two teams that the media loves to portray as their biggest rivals, we saw three separate "feuds" play out through the media.

First up is Joe Girardi and Brad Penny. Penny started the series finale on Thursday. A-Rod came to the plate in the first inning with two outs and Derek Jeter on third base. Penny came way inside on the first pitch, came back with a strike, then plunked A-Rod on the third pitch. I thought it was intentional and I didn't have a problem with it. There have been plenty of plunked batters between these teams in recent years. Joba has drawn the ire of the Sox in much the same way that Pedro used to with the Yankees. I figured this was coming.

Back at the Stadium on Friday, Joe Girardi was asked if he thought Penny hit A-Rod on purpose, He responded in the affirmative. Penny fired back on Saturday saying he could "give two f---s" what Girardi thinks and criticized Girardi for waiting to get back to New York to say anything about it. Chances are Brad Penny isn't even with the Sox by the time these teams meet next in August, but I'm sure we'll see a few more guys wind up in the dirt.

Also coming out of the Yanks-Sox rivlary is Twittergate, in which John Henry intimated that the Yankees are cursed by Mark Teixeira spurning the Sox and signing with the Yanks. This apparently pissed Teixeira off and he spouted off to the media about it a bit. For the record, Twitter is stupid; I see no point to it at all. Oh, and be sure to follow Fack Youk on Twitter.

I peg Teix as the prototypical Boras client. He's like roboballplayer. He plays well; he wears a constant look of intense focus; speaks to the media entirely in cliches and platitudes; and of course, took the contract with the greatest dollar amount. So I find it somewhat surprising that Teix rocked the boat twice last week, with Henry and in confronting noted drunk Rick Sutclife regarding an accusation he made about Teix and A-Rod tipping pitches. I can see him taking issue with the Sutcliffe thing because in that he has a former player accusing him of impropriety between the lines. But Henry? Just let it go Mark. Why give him the satisfaction?

I guess I had Teix figured wrong. Last week's incidents come on the heels of his outbursts earlier this season directed at Carlos Gomez and Vicente Padilla. Teix is getting booed in Baltimore for not signing there; he's booed in Boston for not signing there; and he'll likely be booed in Atlanta and Anaheim later this year. I suppose he should be thankful that the Nationals' series is at home. Keep booing him people; we'll probably see Teix tear off someone's arms and beat him to death with them before the season's over.

Last but not least is the well-documented Brian Bruney/K-Rod flap that nearly resulted in a good-old-fashioned donnybrook during BP Sunday. I completely agree with everything Brian Bruney said. K-Rod is an asshole who celebrates every save as if he just closed out the seventh game of the World Series by striking out the clean-up hitter with the tying run on third. He needs to tone his act down or have it toned down for him.

That said, Bruney was out of line. He offered up his opinion completely unprovoked after his rehab appearance in Trenton. Right or wrong, there was no need for him to say it. By the time he made it back to the Stadium, it was a big story, as it proceeded from Mike Ashmore to Pete Abraham and mushroomed from there. K-Rod claimed he didn't even know who Bruney was. The media got more fodder from both post-game. Then, K-Rod, who must have figured out who Bruney was overnight, had some choice in-your-face words for him during batting practice Sunday. Which in turn, kind of proved Bruney's point that K-Rod's a bit of a hot-headed prima donna.

Got all that? Let's hope this week is a little more uneventful. With any luck, the guys didn't spend their off night watching Monday Night Raw and coming up with ideas for this week's battles.

"the MT curse?"

John Henry came up with a new one on Twitter last night...

the MT curse?

Oh, I get it, you sniveling douche... It's the curse of Mark Teixeira!

#1 - Why is John Henry on Twitter? Doesn't he have a comely lass with luminescent locks colored like the deepest of night to tend to? The fact that he has a Twitter account (with a fucking caricature for an image, no less) really speaks to the kind of ego this guy has. "Draw ME a picture of ME. No, make the eyes more beady! Exxxcellent! Now I can pair this with an endless amount of personal updates about where I am eating dinner, whine about pitchers hitting MY players, or dispel rumors about what things I plan to buy with MY untold fortunes!"

#2 - How does this necessitate a curse, exactly? Every player who ever turned down more money than the Red Sox were offering (which, oh by the way, almost never happens) means the team they sign with is cursed? How about the Curse of Johnny Damon or the Curse of A-Rod? It's all bullshit, but at least those two make some sort of sense.

It's funny to me that there is still all this whining coming out of Boston about not getting Teixeira despite the fact that Youkilis is having an outstanding season, the Sox are 8-0 against the Yanks and are in first place by two games. Imagine if they were floundering and Youk was hitting like Papi?

The fact remains that the reason Boston didn't offer as much for Teix is because they didn't need him as badly. They have a great first baseman in tha Youkstah. Stop acting like jilted lovers, you guys dated for like a week.

Signing an Autograph Is Not a Charitable Act

Good morning Fackers. It's Monday morning, so you're likely grumpy, as am I. But you know who's really in a bad mood? Alex Rios.

After going 0 for 5 with 5 Ks in last Thursday's matinee, taking the rarely seen platinum sombrero for the second time in his career, Rios headed out for a night on the town at a team sponsored charity function. Let's go to the videotape, which features some NSFW language:



Wow. You stay classy there Alex Rios. I believe the locals would say that you are a hoser. Rios is not performing too well this year and I have him on both my fantasy teams. I don't know if I can tolerate this type of behavior from one of my players. If you're going to play for The Boozehounds or A-Rod's Bitch Tits you have to carry yourself like a professional both on and off the field.

I'd also like the record to show that I departed Toronto Tuesday; so I was in no way a party to this. Schiff on the other hand may have something to add.

Paging Sigmund Freud