Clash Of The Cretins

I didn't know there was a "Daily Show Sports Team", but this is awesome. (h/t Big League Stew)


I'm not sure what they had to tell those people to get them to do so much dumb shit in front of camera (presumably) for free, but it's probably the same kind of spiel that gets girls to take their shirts off for "Girls Gone Wild" or people to interact with Sasha Baron Cohen for Ali G., Bruno or Borat. Apparently it applies to sports as well.

Step 1: Assemble a camera crew. Step 2: Travel to the parking lots of the nearest professional sports arena (preferably football). Step 3: Say you are taping for some sort of a TV show/news program/documentary and, Step 4: Ask a bunch of drunken, idiotic sports fans how much they hate the opposing team. Magic!

Come to think of it, couple this with what we learned in the last post and a small amount of venture capital, and I think we'd have enough content to keep this site running through the end of football season.

Above The Clouds

Both of my parents were still in high school in 1969, so I really have no concept of what the world was like at that point. It was the year Mickey Mantle announced his retirement and Stan Musial was voted into the Hall of Fame. The league had just added four teams (the Royals, Padres, Expos and Seattle Pilots who eventually became the Milwaukee Brewers) so the Yankees were now playing in the AL East as opposed to the AL at large.

There was no DH and the Yanks had a four man rotation headed by Mel Stottlemyre. Thurman Munson and Bobby Murcer were just breaking into the league as full time players at age 22 and 23 respectively. The team finished a forgettable 80-81 under Ralph Houk but one of those 80 victories (and 11th inning walk-off, no less) came 40 years ago today on Bat Day at Yankee Stadium.

I only mention that because a far more significant event took place during the course of the contest: the climax of the Apollo 11 mission. Our pal Lar at wezen-ball (who was also just a dot on the horizon when it happened) dug up several accounts from around the Majors to see how they handled such a transcendent moment and found an impossibly detailed account of the announcement made during the Yankees game that day from Leonard Koppett of the New York Times:

'Ladies and gentlemen, your attention please,' came the voice of Bob Shepard, the public address announcer.

The umpires, according to prior arrangements, waved their arms and stopped play.

[...]

'You will be happy to know,' Shepard continued, 'that the Apollo 11 has landed safely...'

And a tremendous cheer drowned the words 'on the moon.'

The cheering continued for about 45 seconds. On the scoreboard, the message section read 'They're on the moon.' People stood. They waved the bats back and forth. Shepard kept talking, but his words could not be made out through the din.

Sounds like a pretty incredible moment, doesn't it? Click through to read the whole post. Lar is great at finding contemporary accounts of historical baseball moments and this is one of my favorite posts of his. He also has a graphic of the territory covered once the astronauts actually walked on the moon, superimposed over a baseball diamond. Wezen-ball is certainly a quality over quantity type of baseball blog and I would highly recommend adding that to your reading rotation.

The moon landing now seems to be distant history and something that I must admit I take for granted. The moment shows up in popular culture so much, like in Forrest Gump, the Ali G Show, the intro a Gang Starr song, and Dumb and Dumber, it's easy to become familiar with it, without actually appreciating the full magnitude of what it meant at the time.

It would be as if Columbus' chance encounter with North America was instantly relayed to Europe at the exact moment that it happened. Except NASA knew exactly what they were doing when they landed on the moon; they weren't trying to get to Mars. The level of science, technology and innovation necessary to put a man on a moving planetary body 238,855 miles away is still staggering 40 years later. It redefined what was possible.

In Koppett's account, he mentions that Sheppard, along with the other voices who made the announcement paused for a moment of silent prayer for the mission's safe return. Since we already knew how the story ends, I hadn't thought about the level of uncertainty involved with the second half of the journey until I read that.

Sure, it was sort of a pissing contest between the U.S. and the Soviets to see who could get there first and there weren't any tangible direct societal benefits from it. But sometimes it's good to do something just to do it. It's why people climb Everest and swim the English Channel. For the sake of saying you did. So now when people look at the Moon, it doesn't seem that far away.

Wite-Out?

Really? No one has come up with another product that would work for this purpose? Something that would avoid the effeminate stigma of nail polish and function better than an office supply?

You could just call it "Catcher's Paint" or some shit.

Wait a second.... You ain't goin' to nick that idea, is you?

Give Jeter an Extension Now!

Playing against the Yankees for the US and A, Jeter went 2-4, including a walk and a two-run single off of Phil Hughes in the third inning of the Americans' 6-5 victory over New York on Tuesday.

This was the first time The Captain has played against the Yankees.

Note to Brian Cashman: You don't want Jeter going 2-4 against the Yankees in every game that he plays against you. Most importantly, you definitely don't want to lose every game where he starts against you. Lock him up now!

Guitar Solo Sunday

Anyone up for a new recurring feature?

Here are the rules:

1. No other instruments (for now)
2. No singing
3. Under 5 minutes
4. Take a picture of the scene of the crime
5. Make a simple YouTube of it
   
6. Make your mother proud

I have left the initial offering to the Guitar Gods below.

It was actually tuned up to 450Hz, which is where Clapton plays almost all of his Derek and the Dominoes stuff, which is why it sounds a little more bright than usual. See if you can spot the 60's song melody line that drops a little ways in.

I captured it on the terrible sound recorder program that comes on my computer, which is why there is a crackling in the background. When I figure out how to use the reel to reel recorder that was sitting in our lobby on Friday night (pictured above) with a note that said "Needs a home (barely used)", that will change.

Since it's usually just my PRS and me, it feels kind of cool to throw this up in this space knowing at least a few of you might enjoy it. But it would be awesome if I never did this again, and instead had readers/friends chip them in. Anyone out there with a black Custom Shop Les Paul and a PA system in his basement where we have played over 1,000 games (conservatively) of beer pong who would like to expose me for the marginal guitarist that I am? After that, we could duel Clapton vs. Harrison style. Poolroom jam next time I'm upstate with the R2R? I can think of another Yankee blogger with a vintage telecaster who may or may not like to weigh in.

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There is a strange combination of anonymity and exhibitionism about blogging. There are only a handful of people of people in this world who have ever heard me play the guitar. I could probably name every single one. But at the same time, I feel compelled to post it on this blog where people I have never laid eyes on are probably going to think it sucks, just for the fuck of it.

I apologize for the bait and switch aspect of putting this up on what appears to be a sports blog, but I'm guessing some of you like music. After all, Donald Trump thinks it is the most popular thing in the world.

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Anyway, here it is. It kind of dies in the middle, but picks back up at the end. Somehow it turned out to be 4:20 long. Go figure...

I'll call this "Christmas Cactus" after the plant my grandma gave me sitting on top of my dresser.