Game Two: Baltimorons, Mascot Taunting & A Late Rally

See what you're missing Teix?!?!! Don't you wish you signed in Baltimore for $40M less than the Yankees offered so you could play in front of these great fans who don't even fucking show up to the second game of the season? Hey Baltimorons, you just lost your "Make Fun Of Rays Fans" card.

I'm pretty sure I know what side of the Erik Bedard trade I'd take at this point.

Relax guys, this was just a clever ploy by Wang to to take the focus off of CC Sabathia.

[New Slogan] "Heineken: It's Not Just The Shitty Light Beer Brands Who Think You Are An Idiot."

And what would be the point of stocking your giant walk-in cooler with one type of beer?

Fail
Fail
Fail

If hypothetical Team A went 3/19 with runners in scoring position in two simulated games, Team A theoretically wouldn't deserve to win those games.

The fact that they let a fucking mascot dance around on top of the dugout at Camden Yards really negates some of that "Retro Ballpark" clout.

Funny, I don't think we'll see headlines in the Rags tomorrow about how the demise of Derek Jeter was greatly exaggerated. Like actual knee-jerk reactions, the ones that appear in print only go in one direction.

If there is one bright spot in this unfortunate event, it's that Teixeira didn't end the game and head into tomorrow 0-9.

Congrats on your first major league victory, Koji Uehara. I'll check back in July when you are 3-6 with a 5.23 ERA.

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Somehow, this defeat is a little easier to swallow for me than yesterday's, although it should technically be twice as hard to, right? Anyone else?

Humpday Podcast Recommendations

I sort of gave up listening to ESPN Radio after the unceremonious conclusion of the Max Kellerman Show and instead have transitioned over to podcasts. They are great for a couple of reasons:

1. You can turn them on whenever you want
2. You can pause them if something comes up
3. The hosts generally aren't pompous asshats (coughColinCowherdcough)
4. They occasionally allow foul language
5. They are free
6. THERE ARE NO COMMERCIALS

Here are three podcasts that have been produced in the last day or so, that you may or may not enjoy. There's really not a whole lot of risk involved, considering all you have to lose is the time you spend listening to them. On the other hand, if you do like them, you've got a free source of entertainment and something to make you temporarily forget how much you hate your job.

Here you go:

• The Bronx View (51 mins): I've linked to these guys before and they are top notch. The production and sound quality is excellent and they represent the rational and even-keeled Yankees fan in all of us. This show features Dan LaTorraca from Pinstripes PA who writes about the Scranton-WB Yanks at the blog linked above.
  
  
• On the DL (47 mins): They transitioned to a daily podcast back in the beginning of March and have a steady stream of great guests. Today, they have Dan Shanoff and Dan Steinberg from The Sporting Blog and D.C. Sports Bog, respectively. I would recommend perusing their archives for the shows with Steve Phillips, Trey Wingo, Tony Kornheiser, Darren Rovell and Annie Duke. If you are wondering how they get all these awesome guests, I don't know either.
  
  
• The BS Report (w/Rick Reilly) (46 mins): It's just like Jon Stewart vs. Jim Cramer (except not at all). It's pretty congenial and obviously was arranged to quell the rumors in the blogosphere that they hated each other. [Update: More to come on this]
  
  
• Also, The River Ave. Blues Radio Show should be out tomorrow.

By my calculations, taking into account some interruptions, those should get you well into the afternoon.

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And just as a totally random aside: Who gets bitchslapped by an umbrella thief?

You're Not Going To Believe This, But...

Last night Rob Neyer wrote a blog post that didn't involve a 200+ word blockquote. I swear to the Baseball Gods:

Last year, Kyle Farnsworth gave up 15 home runs in 60 innings. In his career, Farnsworth has allowed a .441 slugging percentage to left-handed hitters.

Jim Thome is a left-handed hitter with 541 career home runs.

Over the past three seasons, Chicago's U.S. Cellular Field has been the most homer-prone ballpark in the American League, both generally and for left-handed hitters specifically.

With two outs in the bottom of the eighth inning and two White Sox on base, the Royals held a 2-1 lead. Thome was coming up. If there's a single pitcher in the majors who shouldn't be facing Thome in that situation, it just might be Farnsworth.

Yet, face him he did. Threw Thome a fastball down the middle, he did. Gave up a long, three-run, (eventually) game-losing home run, he also did.

And Royals manager Trey Hillman? He sat on his hands and watched it happen. That's what he did.

There's no blockquote at all!!! I got so excited, I think just cut and pasted his whole post...

I kid because I like Rob Neyer and sincerely hope that we see much more of this from him during this season. I would love for ESPN to set him up with MLB Extra Innings a couple of nights a week and just let him make observations like the one above.

It seems as though he has a very defined idea of what blogging is (short lead-in, long blockquote, then his reaction to the piece), and rarely (up until now, never?) steps outside of that format aside from his Monday Mendozas, Tuesday Taters, Wednesday Wangdoodles and so forth. I'd love to hear more of his original thoughts, not just his reactions to what other people say.

"Soon"

I took this screen shot this morning when I went into do a screen grab recap of the incredible end of the Tigers vs. Blue Jays game. But guess what? I can't because the game isn't available. As I mentioned before, I split the MLB.tv Premium Package with my sister, which should entitle us to watching archived and condensed games.

The archived games are supposed to be up 45 minutes after they end. It's 7:45 the following morning and 5 of the 12 games aren't up at all. How about the condensed games from the day before?

Nada.

None of the main home or away archived audio feeds are up either. (Many of the alternates are in Spanish)

In addition, the in-game DVR functionality is extremely slow and clumsy. Although it tells you what half of the inning you are in, you have to fast forward blindly and guess where you are going to end up. It's not like an actual DVR, where you can see the frames going by.

I'm going to give them a little while to get things sorted out, but this is pretty frustrating. It's $110 and if they are going to charge than kind of money, they should probably have the service in order by the time it goes live.

I'm not a whiner in general. I paid the full $125 for Moogis (a lot more than my $55 share of MLB.tv) so I could watch the Allman Brothers play live at the Beacon Theater, and didn't complain at all, because, you know, it actually worked and delivered what it promised.

I wish I could say the same for MLB.tv.