Interv-YOOOOOUUUUK

Clones! Our boy Youk was on the internet radio show of a certain ESPN-affiliated blowhard who I'm not going to name here. Since his site is behind a pay wall, he probably wouldn't take too kindly to me ripping the interview and posting it on this site, but I'm going to do it anyway. Just for you. So let's keep this between us, alright?

Some highlights:

• If you don't already know whose radio show this is, he says his name about 4 seconds into the clip.
  
  
• Youk addresses the Yankees' recent run of success at 3:53
  
  
• They get to the Rick Porcello incident around the 5:00 mark. He claims that he "wasn't being selfish", he was just "making a stand for [him]self", which sounds kinda selfish.
  
  
• The subject of David Wright's helmet pops up at 7:45 which leads Youk to say "I always say that 95% of the reason why people can't play baseball is because they're scared of the ball", which is kind of like saying that 95% of people can't play football because they are scared of getting tackled. Yeah, that and the minor ingredients of athleticism and genetic physical prowess. But you're right, Youk, that can't make up more than 5%. You're just so much braver than everyone else. Dick.
  
  
• Youk refers to the fake Twitter feed that was pretending to be him at 12:40. I'm an idiot.
  
  
• It's long but actually a pretty good interview so have a listen.

Game 52: You Enjoy Myself

Taking the mound tonight, at least as far as I'm concerned, will be Trey Anastasio, Mike Gordon, Paige McConnell and Jon Fishman at the Jones Beach Ampitheater. They are pictured above after jumping the bump at Fenway Park to sing an a Capella version of the Star Spangled Banner before the show they played there on Sunday.

I don't care if Phish wore Red Sox jerseys when they sang the National Anthem, just as I don't care if A-Rod listens to Madonna, Hideki Matsui likes Menudo, Nick Swisher blasts Kenny Chesney, or A.J. Burnett rocks out to Godsmack. For all the melding of music and sports were do here at Fack Youk, they are still very separate pleasures.

Today also happens to be the anniversary of my emergence from the womb (in case you were wondering why I wrote this post), so the title of the song below is as self-indulgent as it is apropos. It represents everything people dislike about Phish songs: The extended composed sections and jams make it so long that almost every version on YouTube had to be split up into two, if not three parts. There are hardly any lyrics and the ones there don't make any sense. Odds are you won't like it, and chances are I don't really give a shit. Not today, anyway.

Matt is still away in the land of the Canucks so there won't be a game recap, either. Fear not, Fackers, we will be back in full force tomorrow. 

Drama Queen

I wish A-Rod stop destroying the chemistry in the clubhouse with his selfish, attention-grabbing antics.

Someone should really...

Exactly.

Breaking News: A-Rod Out for 10 Weeks for Hip Surgery

Despite his hip bothering him last year, according to his brother Joe, A-Rod has decided to get hip surgery to remove a cyst during Spring Training rather than during the offseason and will be out until May...

Example 5,080 of A-Rod being selfish. However, you think he would have announced that he would be having the surgery at the height of his PED shitstorm.

What are the chances that A-Rod received his cyst as a result of steroid use? Surely this will re-ignite the speculation that A-Rod used steroids after 2003.

Sorry Ms. Selena Roberts. Your book will not have the same impact with A-Rod not playing in the New Yankee Stadium's inaugural game.

Update from the Lohud of the Rings: Cashman said Alex Rodriguez has a torn hip labrum and cyst. Instead of surgery they will try rest and rehab.

I am a Juris Doctor, not a Medical Doctor, but a torn hip labrum sounds pretty fucking bad...

La reputación de ESPN Deportes ha sufrido otra vez.

Quarterback of the Week

Regardless of their respective performances on Sunday, Donovan McNabb, Kurt Warner, Joe Flacco or Ben Roethlisberger will not be the Quarterback of the Week.

That honor belongs to U.S. Airways Flight 1549 Pilot Chesley B. "Sully" Sullenberger III who cooly navigated his engineless plane over the city and landed it in the Hudson River. After his miraculous landing, Sullenberger walked the plane twice after everybody else was off, and tried to verify that there was nobody else on board.

According to news reports, (and his website) Sullenberger has been studying the psychology of keeping airline crews functioning even in the face of crisis.*

Headcase atheletes (A-Rod, Romo) should read about crisis management and other psychological literature so they do not let their fans and teammates down. Selfish athletes (cough T.O., cough) should take notice of "Sully's" selfless behavior.

[Ed. Note: Malcom Gladwell's (poorly named but compellingly written) book called Outliers discusses the implications of cultural dynamics in precisely these situations (among other things). It delves into concepts such as power distance and dissects the causes or Korean Air Flight 801 and other airbone tragedies. Seriously, read it. Just like his other books, it's good.

And no, I did not get paid to write that.]