No. No You Are Not.

[h/t Awful Announcing]

Alex Rodriguez is not from the Dominican Republic. He was born in New York City in 1975. Both of his parents were born the DR and he lived there briefly when he was four years old, before moving to Miami.

Alex, the DR is one of the poorest countries in the world. The PPP per capita income is $8,116 a year. You made three times that PER INNING last year. In 2005, you said, "I want to say it out loud: I am Dominican". However, this is the extent of your charitable contributions to the country you claim as your own (which coincidentally occurred right around the time you wanted to play for the DR in the last WBC):

In 2005, Alex donated $50,000 to the Dominican Republic branch of UNICEF. This donation fully funded five-day care centers outside of Santo Domingo. These centers were able to purchase enough school supplies, food and personal hygiene products for each center for one full year. Approximately 1,500 children will benefit from this donation.

Listen, I'm not the most philanthropic person on the planet, but if I had career earnings of $197,431,586 with another $250M+ guaranteed, I think I could do a little better than $50,000 for the country I somewhat arbitrarily chose to identify myself with.

If 1,500 children benefited from your $50,000 donation, 30,000 would be helped by $1,000,000. One million United States Dollars is an astronomical sum to a person such as myself, but it is about 1/12th of the value of his home in Miami and 1/10th of what he was asking for his apartment in Manhattan.

Now would be a great time for some positive PR. Everyone is suggesting that he make donations for the Partnership For A Drug Free America, or similar organizations, but why don't you give some thought to putting that money where it might actually make a difference? I'll trade little Johnny in suburban Peoria taking a couple tokes for some kids in the DR getting "school supplies, food and personal hygiene products".

I've been to the Caribbean my fair share of times and although it is astonishingly beautiful, once you step outside of the resort, there is poverty everywhere you look. Most of those islands are very resource-poor and tourism is the primary industry which isn't running so hot right now. Do the right thing A-Rod. Are you going to say no to this girl?

[Yes, she gets color]

And to make up for how depressing that was...

Spring Training Is Here, Bitches!!!

[h/t LoHud]

As evidenced above by Phil Hughes and Joba Chamberlain throwing in Tampa, Spring Training is here! It was a fun countdown and all, but thank the Good Lord!

What To Make Of Mo

2008 was the best season of Mariano Rivera's career. Surprising? It was to me...

His save total was only 6th highest, but he had his lowest ERA, WHIP, highest ERA+, and best K/BB ratio in his 14 years in the Major Leagues. He only walked SIX batters in SEVENTY AND TWO THIRDS INNINGS while striking out seventy seven. 12.8 would be a sick K/9 ratio, but that was his K/BB ratio. (his K/9 was actually slightly lower at 9.8). Frankie Rodriguez might have tallied 62 saves and overshadowed Mo, but his WHIP and K/BB ratios were significantly worse than Rivera's worst season. Which was 2007.

Rivera and Jorge Posada both signed massive contracts (especially compared to the ones being signed this offseason) last year at the ages of 37 and 35, respectively. The older of the two men had his most valuable season as a Yankee, while the younger chap has his least. Both had shoulder surgery over the offseason performed by Mets' doctor David Altchek, but Jorge's was far more serious. Mo had some calcification removed from this right shoulder joint, while Posada's procedure was to repair his glenoid labrum.

Mo is a completely unique case. There is no precedent set for a 39 year old (predominantly) one pitch reliever who just posted his worst and best seasons as a professional back to back. Statistically, relievers are much more prone to sharp declines because one three run homer (like Marco Scutaro's dinger off the foul pole in Oakland in 2007) in a 70 inning season takes an ERA from 1.80 to 2.19. A couple bad outings and you are looking a drastically worsened statistical profile.

Am I worried about Mo? Yeah, a little bit. Although it was a minor surgery, he still went under the knife. Rivera is such a finely tuned man-chine you get the feeling that he could make the necessary adjustments. He is ubiqutously revered by Yankees fans and feared by those of opposing teams. He's been so good for so long that it's easy to take him for granted, but some point he is going to enter a decline phase.

For the heck of it, here is my prediction (barring injury):

72IP, 2.25 ERA, 67K, 13BB, .975WHIP

Drew Rosenhaus: Gentleman, Scholar

Via three consecutive posts from Ralph Vacchiano (the only person I link to about the Giants) "super" agent and colossal douche Drew Rosenhaus sent a letter to all 32 NFL teams announcing that three of his clients, Chad Johnson, Anquan Boldin and Plaxico Burress are available via trade:

Rosenhaus, who has represented Burress since he signed with the Giants four years ago, sent an e-mail to all 32 teams earlier this week in which he indicated Burress could be acquired via trade, according to three people informed of the contents of the e-mail. The people, who requested anonymity because the e-mail was not to be discussed publicly, said it was a list of Rosenhaus' free-agent and draft-eligible clients as well as three players he deemed trade-able. All three are wide receivers: the Cardinals' Anquan Boldin, the Bengals' Chad Johnson and Burress.

Minor detail: He didn't have permission from any of the teams to do so, because no team would ever want to have their hand tipped like that. Have you even heard of a team sending out such a letter?

And what team is going to trade for Plaxico Burress? I'm not sure if you are familiar with the legal process, but there is a really good chance that he'll be spending next season or three in jail. If the Giants could potentially get a draft pick or two from a team stupid enough to acquire a injury prone wide receiver with a $35M contract and an impending prison sentence, by all means, Jerry Reese, do it. But why would Drew Rosenfuckface be promoting that agenda?

Let me just say in general that as an agent I can do whatever I want. Let me clarify the rules. Teams cannot talk to an agent about a player who is under contract, but there’s no limits on what an agent can try and do to help his client. You know, the bottom line is that I get paid by my clients to advance their agenda, not the teams’ agendas. And there’s no rule that prohibits me from talking to teams about any of my clients. I’m going to do my job. That’s the bottom line.

Oh! So the player can sign with another team, negotiate a new contract and he can get a piece of the commission. Naturally.

Hey Drouche, you are a cut-rate football version of Scott Boras, except even more annoying and without the blue chip clients. Chad Johnson changed his name (except couldn't put it on the back of his jersey) and caught six passes for -8 yards last season. Plax literally shot himself, is awaiting trail and missed several games due to injuries and suspension. Boldin had the slight built-in advantage of playing on the opposite side of the field from Larry Fitzgerald last year. So I'm sure Drew's expectations for what a team is going to have to give up for 'Quan are reasonable:

There was a big trade this season for Roy Williams. The wide receiver went from Detroit to the Dallas Cowboys and that compensation involved a first-round pick, third-round pick and sixth-round pick (and a seventh next year). So you have to use that. Any time you see a front-line, No. 1 receiver, a Pro Bowl receiver, being traded, you have to look at the Roy Williams deal as a landmark for what the compensation would be.

I know it's difficult to count to two, but NEITHER OF THOSE GUYS ARE FUCKING "NO. 1 RECEIVER[S]", YOU INCOMPREHENSIBLE MORON. Have you heard of Larry Fitzgerald and/or Calvin Johnson? Because those guys are the #1 WRs on their respective teams. Also worth nothing - Roy Williams (5 years in the NFL, 1 Pro Bowl). Why good does it do to drive up your client's trade value? Does Drouche automatically get to sign one of the draft picks?

And by the way, Jerry Jones, how is that Roy Williams trade working for you, anyway? Can a glaringly terrible trade still serve as a benchmark? It was dumb at the time and looks even stupider in hindsight. I hope both of these asshats get trampled by a circus elephant.

JoePo On A-Rod's "Apology"

Having a full-time job and writing for this blog doesn't leave a whole lot of time to tend to my Google Reader. When I was waiting at my dentist's office today, I had a chance to catch up on Joe Posnanski's blog (from my iPhone), which typically gets put off extra long because the posts are always so deep and involved. He had an interesting take on A-Rod, and really shredded his apology. The post compares what he did to taking drugs and speeding, as I did yesterday, so I guess you'll just have to take my word when I say I only got to it today. Here is an excerpt:

I thought Alex Rodriguez’s "apology" was one of the most absurd shams of recent memory. I thought it was so pathetic that, for the first time, that ”A-Fraud“ moniker finally made some sense to me. As a baseball fan, I wasn’t mad at A-Rod when the steroid story broke. As a baseball fan, I was furious at A-Rod when he and his handlers put together this infomercial apology. I hope the children weren’t watching THAT.

Okay, it was incomplete. But remember Roger Clemens? How about Barry Bonds? Sammy Sosa? Mark McGwire? Rafael Palmero? Switching sports, Marion Jones? The "deny, deny, deny" precedent had already been set, so isn't it at least a step in the right direction that he didn't take the routes of any of those athletes?

When you get caught doing something, you are only going to admit to what what you have to. If you get pulled over on the highway, and the cop asks you how fast you were going, aren't you going to lowball it and see if he corrects you? If you get arrested with some drugs in your car and they find the bag in your glove box, are you going to direct them to the stash under your spare tire?

Yes, the apology was a little too tidy, and conveniently restricted his drug usage to Texas, the team is his least remembered for being a part of. But he was responding to a positive test in 2003, likely the only hard evidence that will ever emerge about his PED use. There is no reason for him to come out with anything else until it's absolutely necessary, although it could come back to bite him in a big way. As Joe implies above, it's a calculated risk.

When Selena Robert's book (Hit and Run: The Many Lives Of Alex Rodriguez) comes out, her publisher has already said it will contain more revelations about A-Rod's steroid use. Joe now works for SI and had this to say about A-Rod ad hominem attack on his colleague:

It was shameful. Pathetic. I’ll add this: I know that Selena has a history with A-Rod. And I know that she has a book coming out that, based on the cheery title (Hit and Run: The Many Lives of Alex Rodriguez) does not sound especially uplifting. But I’m not trying to defend Selena: She’ll defend herself fine. No, I’m talking about what this says to me about Alex Rodriguez.

It says that A-Rod, despite sticking to the script for most of the interview, lost his cool because someone is in the process of digging through his past for her profit, and it has probably impinged on his life. She has every right to do write that book, and if I had the access to some real deal dirt on a high profile celebrity and someone willing to pay me to write about it, I'd do the same thing.

A-Rod made an obvious misstep, but I don't think it really "says" any more about him than the fact the he used steroids, dated Madonna when he was still with his wife, frosts his tips, likes muscled strippers, is referred to as "A-Fraud" by his teammates or seemingly can't preform in the clutch.

Number of Days Until Spring Training: Billy Martin (#1)

[Ed. Note: I think we saved the best for last. Well, it's the longest anyway...]

There are 741 billion different ways to arrange a 25 man roster into a 9 slot line-up. Once you select the 9 best players that number drops to 362,880. According to Bill James, the way you arrange those 9 players (at least in computer simulations) doesn't have that much of an impact on how many runs the line up produces. The 2009 version of the Bill James Handbook says "We're trying to pollute the discussion of managers with actual facts."

The reason that a statistically-based analyst would say that, is there are only so many ways a manager can impact the outcome of a game. Most of the decisions a manager has to make, like removing a starting pitcher, pinch hitting, or intentionally walking a hitter are technically possible at all times. However, no reasonable observer would advocate going to the bullpen in the first inning unless absolutely necessary or intentionally walking a batter to lead off the 7th. Like batting order, once you narrow it down to a fairly reasonable set of options, the decision between them isn't statistically likely to make much of a difference.

So how is it that Billy Martin is universally remembered as a "a genius who could turn almost any kind of team into a winner" and "the perfect short-term manager, as his competitive fire and daring tactics won over fans, management, and players"?

Martin spent 11 seasons as a player in the major leagues, 6 1/2 with the Yankees (although he spent the first two primarily as a pinch hitter). He was primarily a second baseman, but put in some time at third and short as well. He may have also had "competitive fire" as a player, but it never helped him slug over .400 or post a league average OPS over the course of any one season.

During his playing days with the Yanks, he was part of 4 World Series winning teams (1951, 1952, 1953 & 1956). It was more a matter of great timing than his production. He played on teams with Mickey Mantle, Phil Rizzuto, Yogi Berra, Gil McDougald, Moose Skowron, and Elston Howard. In 1953, he was the only person on the Yankees to appear in more than 60 games and have an OPS+ of less than 100. On the other hand, in the 28 World Series games he appeared in, he hit .333, well above his career mark of .257.

It might have been this success in the World Series that endeared him to superstar teammates Mickey Mantle and Whitey Ford. The trio were legendary for their after hours gallivanting throughout New York City and on the road. That fact that he involved Mantle and Ford in his partying was what got him traded in the middle of the 1957 season.

One evening, Mickey Mantle, Whitey Ford, Hank Bauer, Yogi Berra, Johnny Kucks and Billy Martin of the Yankees, along with the wives of the former five arrived at the nightclub to celebrate Martin's birthday. Sammy Davis, Jr. happened to be the headliner. During the performance, a group of bowlers, apparently intoxicated, started to interfere with Davis' act, even hurling racial slurs at him. This behavior incensed the Yankees, especially Martin, since his club roommate was catcher Elston Howard, the first African American to join the Yankees. Tensions erupted between the two factions, and the resulting fracas made newspaper headlines. Several of the Yankees were fined. One of the bowlers sued Bauer for aggravated assault, but Bauer was found not guilty.

Yankees General Manager George Weiss traded thought Martin was a bad influence on the team's stars and traded him to the Kansas City Athletics in a seven player deal. After the '57 season he was traded from KC to Detroit, then to Cleveland, Cincinnati, Milwaukee, and Minnesota, never spending more than a season with any of them.

After Billy retired, he worked as a scout in the Twins' organization, then third base coach, AAA Manager and subsequently Major League Skipper, guiding the team to 97 wins and a Division Championship in 1969. The team's ownership was no doubt impressed with the 14 win improvement from the previous year, but fired Martin after he beat up pitcher Dave Boswell and left him unconscious in an alleyway behind A.C. Lindell's in Detroit.

Martin had always been combative. He grew up in one the poorer areas near Berkley, California - East Bay City and was surrounded by gangs and street violence for much of his early life. His mother sent his philandering father packing before he was even born, and Martin didn't lay eyes on him until he was 15, at which point Billy told him he never wanted to see him again.

In 1971, despite Martin's checkered past, he landed another managerial gig in Detroit. His first season they won 91 games, an 11 game increase from the year before, but finished second to Baltimore. The following year they won only 86 games but edged the Red Sox by one game for first place. He was fired 134 games into the '73 season for ordering his pitchers to retaliate for throwing the spitballs Gaylord Perry was throwing for the Indians on August 30th.

He finished up that season by managing 23 games in Texas. He presided over a 23 game advance, taking a 57 win team to 84 victories and a second place finish. Martin was fired once again by Texas in 1975, after the team started to fade midway through the season. Within a week, Martin was hired by the Yankees and finished out the last 56 games of the season with them.

Amazingly, in his first year in the Bronx, Martin again steered a team to a double digit rise in wins in his first full year, gaining from 84 to 97. The Yankees won the AL East that year and advanced to the World Series but were swept by the Reds. In his time in Pinstripes, Martin feuded publicly with owner George Steinbrenner despite the fact that the Yanks had just won their first pennant in 12 years. Martin didn't approve of the acquisition of Reggie Jackson, nor of Reggie's infamous "straw that stirs the drink" comment.

Billy pulled Jackson from a nationally televised game at Fenway Park on June 18th, 1977 for failing to hustle out a fly ball in right field in the bottom of the 6th. When Reggie got back to the dugout, tempers flared and they both had to be restrained. Despite the drama swirling around in the clubhouse (the Bronx Zoo), the Yankees won 100 games that year, topped the Royals in the ALCS, and beat the Dodgers in 6 games in the World Series. It was the only World Series victory of Martin's managing career.

The madness didn't subside in 1978. Midway through the season Jackson ignored signs from Martin and bunted when it wasn't called for, causing Martin to issue the following barb against him and Steinbrenner:

"...the two of them deserve each other - one's a born liar [Jackson], the other's convicted [Steinbrenner]."

It would prove to be his undoing as Yankee Manager (for the time being) and he resigned a few days later. He ended up returning for the final 95 games of 1979, replacing Bob Lemon and had a winning record, but the Yankees finished 4th.

Back to the original question. What made Billy Martin so good as a manager?

He once explained:

Out of 25 guys, there should be fifteen who would run through a wall for you, two or three who don't like you at all, five who are indifferent and maybe three undecided. My job is to keep the last two groups from going the wrong way.

When he was with the Twins, he taught Rod Carew how to steal home, and as a result 7 of Carew's 20 stolen bases in 1969 were of home plate. In Oakland from 1980-1982 he used hit and runs, squeeze plays and the stolen base, but the reason they were successful was probably because his teams lead the AL in HRs.

He also used some odd tactics, like allowing Fergie Jenkins to DH for himself and when broke up a no-hitter in the 6th inning in a game in 1974. He literally drew the Yankees line-up out of a hat on April 21st, 1977 against the Blue Jays, a game which they won 8-6. Billy once inserted Rick Rhoden as a DH because he was the only right-handed option, resulting in a sac fly RBI and a walk before he was pinch hit for in the 5th inning.

Could his strategies alone possibly be the only reason that every team he managed got significantly better as soom as he got there? Some of those things, like DH'ing Rhoden or Jenkins, while creative, couldn't have possibly created a positive win expectancy. But sometimes you can make a low percentage play and have it still work out. He went all-in with a straight draw and caught it on the turn.

I don't know how much Bill James is going to like this, but the historical consensus is that Martin's true genius was in his personality. He was intense, cantankerous and blunt but also had an incredibly thorough knowledge of the game. Mike Pagliarulo said:

He was the kind of guy who wasn’t afraid to tell you what he thought of you. If I got one hit in a game and hit a couple other balls well, but they were caught, what he’d say to me was, “You dumb-ass dago, you can’t get more than one hit.” Billy was very honest.

But then added:

Billy could see the field so completely; he knew what everybody was doing.

Martin also had a penchant for riding his players, especially pitchers. He once sat down and explained his managing philosophy to Leonard Koppett:

A lot of the time, you have to make a player do something he doesn't want to do, for the good of the team, or to push him harder that he thinks he should be pushed. You can't do it if the player thinks "Why should I listen to him? He's not the boss. He may be gone next year. I'll do it my way" When that attitude takes hold, teams don't win.

Managing is teaching, first of all. That's even more important than winning itself. When you get a player whose postenital you can see, and show him things that can make him better, and show him the things that can make him win, and then you can see him later realizing those things - it's like a graduation. It makes you feel satisfied even if he's no longer your player.

For a team to win, a manager has to find ways to motivate different individuals. He has to judge correctly each man's abilities and weaknesses, and find the right ways and the right times to use them.

>8

But the enjoyment comes from the things I put in.... The victory at the end is only proof that you succeded, and nobody can take that away from you once you've won. But the fun and the rewards are in what you do getting there.

[Ed. Note: Since Google Books doesn't let you cut and paste, I had to type that out by hand. It was worth it, but damn you, Google Books.]

This also lends some insight as to why Martin never lasted as manager for more than two consecutive full seasons with any team. After managing near his hometown in Oakland, he returned to the Yankees in 1983 and won 91 games. He was fired that offseason and re-hired in 1985 when he won 91 games again, except this time he only had a chance to manage 145. His last stretch with the Yankees was in 1988 where he started out 40-28, but was replaced by Lou Pinella.

His overall managerial record was (1253-1013) good for 32nd on the all-time list, but his .553 winning percentage and 240 wins over .500 place him at 21st and 20th, respectively.

In 1989, he had been brought back to the Yankees as a special consultant and it was rumored he had been asked to manage and had already assembled a coaching staff. On Christmas day, he was riding in his longtime friend William Reedy's pick-up truck and both had been drinking but neither was wearing a seatbelt.

They were approaching Billy's house in Johnson City, NY, just outside of Binghamton, when the truck skidded off the icy road and down a 300 foot embankment, ending up at the foot of Martin's driveway. Reedy was left in serious condition, but Martin was not so lucky. He was 61.

Martin's tombstone reads: "I may not have been the greatest Yankee to put on the uniform, but I was the proudest"

A Little Something To Hold You Over...

... while I finish up the Billy Martin Countdown piece.

Via the NYPost, It appears as though out favorite tainted slugger has a unique way of preparing to tell the world he used steroids. That would be making out with one of three smoking hot women at the nightclub ajacent to the casino in the Atlantis. Sampson and I have a rather ridiculous story about our encounters with a Sheik from Saudi Arabia, three girls from Texas and Ice T, that took place in the same club when we were 18 and cashing in our graduation presents, but I won't bore you with that...

He showed up the Aura Club with the aforementioned brunette and - just to balance things out - a red-hot blonde. "The girls said they had come down with A-Rod from the US," said an eyewitness. "They were dancing in front of him and even kissing each other to entertain him. He seemed to like the brunette more." When he wasn't playing with his lady friends, A-Rod knocked back Grey Goose vodka as the music blasted.

>8

...he, the brunette and the blonde "all left the club together," the eyewitness said.

Fine work sir. All I can say is "it's about fucking time" (no pun intended). Does this mean he's no longer with Madonna?

/crosses fingers

Roberto Alomar Might Be A Scumbag, But It's Not Going To Cost Him $15M

"...I'm sorry, I wish it was something less seeeeeriousss."

You know, Robby, despite all the hard feelings between us over the years, deep down we Mets fans always knew you were a class act. Your "blockbuster" acquisition in 2001 actually did more harm than good by dashing our audacious hopes for a meaningful season during one of the franchise's darkest periods since the Worst Team Money Could Buy. You still left your mark in club record books folklore by batting a scorching .266, mashing 15 really-long balls, and slugging a brawny .376. Nor have we forgotten those 11 adorable times that your once-golden glove let those silly, tricky lil' hops squirt through the infield for errors. Nope, you kept the "asshole second baseman" tradition - which began with Jeff Kent - alive in Flushing; that torch is now safely held in the geriatric, osteoporosis-riddled hand of Luis Castillo.

So Roberto Alomar has AIDS, and his ex-girlfriend (Ilya Dall) is suing him for $15 million for allegedly insisting on having unprotected sex with her. Where to begin with this story? Well first of all, the plaintiff is a former female arm wrestler , appears to be some species of cougar, and is a current proprietor of a "massage spa" in Queens. I guess one can't be too selective when he [at least suspects he] has an incurable, contagious disease that spawns male yeast infections.

The allegations themselves are less amusing. I don't know whether to laugh somewhat inappropriately or cringe. It strangely hits home, perhaps because Robby - though an oft-cursed part of our past - was nevertheless a Met for whom I rooted (I have never, nor will I ever boo a Met while he's a Met, including Heilman). Moreover, his father Sandy is the Mets' current bench coach, and has been in the organization for a while now - though he claims he somehow had no idea that his son had AIDS.

The health details provided by the Daily News - presumably scooped from Dall's complaint - are harrowing and just plain sad: chest masses, shingles, mouth foaming, spinal taps; the kind of stuff I wouldn't wish upon Shane Victorino (I'm pretty sure). Furthermore, the story reports that Alomar allegedly told Dall that he had contracted AIDS when he was raped by two Mexican men after playing a ballgame in New Mexico or a Southwestern state when he was 17. Whether or not the assault was the cause of his disease, it's still awful and makes me feel bad for Alomar; if true, I doubt he had access to proper physical & mental health channels as a minor leaguer in the 80's.

However, if what Dall alleges is in fact true, Alomar is a pretty huge scumbag. In the legal sense, in New York, acting with a substantial certainty that a particular harm will occur (in this case, that Dall would likely be infected with HIV) constitutes an intentional tort. Even if Alomar didn't know or suspect that he had HIV or AIDS - which I find extremely hard to believe given the circumstances in the story - he could be found liable in a garden-variety negligence claim; any reasonable person in his situation would've or should've known that insisting on unprotected sense was wrongful conduct. Though I don't know offhand, in some states Alomar's alleged conduct might even constitute criminal liability, on some sort of super recklessness charge.

That's not to say Dall is completely blameless. If you were a woman even considering having sex with someone whom you suspect might have, oh I don't know, AIDS, wouldn't you at the very least not let him rawdog you, and maybe even condition entrance to your va-jay-jay on his consenting to an STD test? The fact that Dall had consensual sex with Alomar despite her suspicions might allow Alomar to raise an "assumption of risk" or "comparative negligence" defense- that Dall voluntarily took on the risk of possibly contracting AIDS or is at least partly responsible, respectively. Finally, there's no way Dall is getting $15M even if she wins. If a sympathetic/stupid jury actually gives her that much, it's likely to be set aside by an appellate court.

Furthermore, in order to be found liable, there has to have been an actual harm (damages). I haven't read the complaint, but the Daily News reports that Dall is claiming $15 million in punitive damages for emotional distress and suffering. Not only are such damages completely arbitrary and abstract (how do you value "emotional distress?" And shouldn't she just be psyched she didn't get the HIV?), when it comes to damages, the court will generally be concerned with restoring the plaintiff to his/her state before the harm occurred; punitive damages are only levied when the state wants to deter future actors (usually corporations) of doing the same thing. I doubt there are a bunch of crazy, AIDS-infected scumbags out there following this case closely ready to act accordingly. In fact, I'll bet Big Willie Style $20 that Alomar moves for summary judgment and the case is thrown out of court before jury selection begins. Of course, there's always the possibility that Alomar and Dall will settle, but since Dall's seeking Kevin Brown's yearly salary during his pre-dugout wall-punching days on the Dodgers, and since Alomar probably needs whatever funds he can round up for some Magic Johnson-quality AIDS treatment, I'm not sure how likely he is to settle.

Alomar moved the suit from State Supreme Court in Queens to Federal District Court in Brooklyn - right next door to me. Alomar is allowed to do this because he is a citizen of a different state than Dall ("diversity jurisdiction"), and was probably worried that a Queens jury and/or court would be biased against him - perhaps because of his awful tenure with the Mets.

As an aside, I find it hilarious that after Alomar infamously spit in umpire John Hirschbeck's face, fellow umpire Al Clark felt the need to publicly suggest that Hischbeck insist that Alomar get tested for AIDS. I find this funny for two reasons: 1) Wouldn't it make more sense and be easier for Hirschbeck himself to get tested? 2) I believe it was in 5th grade, during sex-ed, when we learned that "[y]ou can't get AIDS from Bobby from hugging him, or using the same drinking fountain as him, or shaking his hand..." Also, why "AIDS?" Were there rumors circulating in 1996 among MLB's inner circles that Alomar was a silent carrier? Bizarre, right?

If the case makes it past preliminary motions, which I doubt it will, I might try and sit in on some of the trial proceedings. Just think: an embedded Fack Youk blogger bringing you late-breaking Robby Alomar AIDS trial updates from inside the Federal Courthouse.

That sounds like a lot of work though; I'd probably need to get me some aides.

Forever Tainted?

Isn't it sort of an antiquated notion to think that a player only cheated when they were using steroids or HGH? Are the effects of heroin or cocaine contained only to the time when the user would have tested positive for them?

The reason athletes started using HGH in conjunction with steroids was that it allowed them to hold onto the extra mass gained during the extra hard workouts steroids allowed them to complete. Away from sports, it is used to combat aging by increasing bone density, muscle mass, improving heart functions and even improving skin complexion. Those don't sound like things that are going to subside immediately when you stop taking HGH.

How do you think Barry Bonds had an OPS of 1.422 (the highest single season OPS in baseball history) and had more HRs than strikeouts in 2004 at the age of 39, when the MLB had already instituted their testing policy? Does anyone actually think he wasn't still benefiting from all the steroids/HGH he took in the past?

It seems that only those older anabolic steroids such as Androstenedione and Deca-Durabolin had the drastic cycle on/off effects. As the newer, more sophisticated drugs like Primobolan evolved, those side effects were mitigated.

For the record, I really don't care about athletes using steroids. I don't have kids and don't care what kind of example it sets. Yeah, it sucks that the people who use it indirectly pressure the people who are clean to use it. That's life. Seeing someone drive by you on the highway going 85 in a 65 might tempt you to speed. You know if you get behind them, you might get pulled over.

We've all been at a party where people were smoking pot or doing coke and had to make our own decisions. Maybe it would have enhanced the experience that night, but if you got caught or were extra hungover the next day, you'd have probably regretted it. Common sense tells you it would be wrong, and you choose to either do it or not do it. Those scenarios aren't all that different.

I just think it's worth pointing out that it's awfully narrow-minded to confine the label of "cheating" to the time an athlete tested (or would have tested) positive. They have changed the chemistry of their body indefinitely.

Remember:

Barry Bonds (2000-2003) - Taking steroids/HGH/The Cream/The Clear - Best Hitter Ever

Barry Bonds (2004) - "Clean" - Even Better

Eat Your Heart Out Eli!

According to Ralph Vacchiano of the Daily News, former Giants back-up QB Jared Lorenzen, has signed on to play with the cleverly-named Kentucky Horsemen of the Arena Football League II. The Hefty Lefty, with the perfect mechanics (see above) will be paid $200 a game with an additional $50 per win. Given that they only play once a week, I'm guessing the 285lb Pillsbury Throwboy might need to augment that salary by working at KFC.

See You In Tijuana, Tony

Everyone's favorite plaster craftsman/welterweight boxer, Antonio Margarito and his trainer Javier Capetillo had their boxing licenses revoked by the California State Athletic Commission (and therefore the rest of the US) for at least one year:

Voting 7-0 on both motions for revocation, the panel found that they put a
plaster-like substance on illegal pads inside Margarito's hand wraps.

Before Margarito was knocked out in the ninth round, Mosley's trainer, Naazim Richardson, had objected to the way Margarito's left hand was wrapped. When the wrap was cut off, officials found a suspect bandage wrap inside the knuckle pad that would be placed over Margarito's hands.

Richardson then insisted that the wrap on Margarito's right hand be checked and another identical illegal pad was discovered. Margarito eventually had his hands re-wrapped and went on to lose the fight.

Margarito told the panel that he just held his hands up to be wrapped, and had no knowledge of what his trainer was doing. His trainer echoed the sentiment, saying:

I don't want this young man to have problems. I'm here to cover any responsibility. I take full responsibility. I committed this innocent mistake.

Pleading ignorance? Yeah fucking right, Antonio. So I'm assuming they wrapped your hands with plaster in your sparring matches and training sessions, right? Oh, no? So you just closed your eyes when they were being applied? You couldn't feel the illegal pads when Javier put them on? You didn't notice that your hands were significantly heavier? Your wraps didn't feel any different? Really?

What incentive would your trainer have to do this without your consent? Why is it that when lost your illegal edge, you got your ass handed to you by a 37 year old dude?

In related news, Roger Clemens just held down his pants so Brain McNamee could inject him and had no idea what was in those syringes. And that "innocent mistake" resulted in other people taking vicious and illegal blows to the head with a rock hard substance. Altering hand wraps is considered an especially serious violation in the boxing world, for obvious reasons. After the one year ban, Margarito and his trainer can apply for reinstatement but there is not guarantee that they will be accepted.

This now opens the door for legal action from Miguel Cotto, Kermit Cintron, Joshua Clottey and other past opponents. After the his fight with Margarito, Cotto said it felt like he was being "hit with bricks". Doesn't sound like hyperbole anymore, does it? Unfortunately for him, his bell cannot be unrung, and he may never be the same fighter again. But at least people know he wasn't taking a knee for no reason.

Another SS Bites The Dust

Miguel Tejada has been charged with lying to Congress about steroids, the latest baseball player to get caught up in an extensive web of cheating and juicing that has stained the sport. He is scheduled to appear in court Wednesday and expected to plead guilty. The charges against Tejada, who currently plays for the Houston Astros, were outlined in documents filed in Washington federal court on Tuesday.

Remember the Golden Age of Shortstops? Who was the best shortstop out of the group? Jeter, A-Rod, Nomar, or Tejada? Were they the best shortstops ever?

If you have not been hiding in the caves of Afghanistan or in the tribal lands of Pakistan with Osama bin Laden the past few days, you would know that A-Rod, following Selena Roberts' story about him being one of the 104 on the "anonymous" positive test list, admitted his steroid use from 2001-2003 when he was playing shortstop for the Texas Rangers.

Nomah has been linked to steroids, but was not in the Mitchell Report--perhaps because the report was a sham and left out any Red Sox player due to Mitchell's conspicuous allegiances. Garciaparra has been injured often and his skills/numbers has declined since the advent of steroid testing in 2005.

That leaves Jeter. Jeter has not been linked to steroids--whether it be in the Mitchell Report or in casual fan conversation. Given the fact that his father Dr. Charles Jeter, whom he is very close to, is a former substance abuse counselor, I would doubt that he would ever take them. He is pretty lean and there has never been a drastic change in his physical appearance. He is also not a home run hitter (although Alex Sanchez with his 6 career HR was busted and suspended for 10 games in 2005).

Do Jeter's accomplishments, presumably without the use of steroids, make him the best shortstop out of this quartet? How about the greatest shortstop ever? Just some food for thought...

Number of Days Until Spring Training: Derek Jeter (#2)

Did you notice that last year, Derek Jeter had his worst full season offensively as a professional? He had similar OPS+'s in 1996 and 1997 but that takes into account the inflated offensive era those years were a part of. His 2008 batting average (-.16), on-base percentage (-.24) and slugging percentage (-.50) were all well off his career marks. Consequently, his counting stats (11HR, 69 RsBI) were far below his averages too. He only stole eleven bases, and was caught five times.

Before I looked those numbers up, I didn't notice either. He doesn't seem to fall into extended slumps and as a fan watching the games, your memories are probably shaped more by how many hits he gets as opposed to his OPS.

Jeter's image, of course, is solid titanium and during last season he was linked to Minka Kelly, appeared in Ford and Gatorade commercials and gave a great speech after the last game at the Old Stadium that Will and I were fortunate enough to witness (even from two obstructed view seats in the left field upper deck). It's easy to overlook or forgive his slipping production.

A shortstop who has been a defensive liability for quite some time, his offense is falling far enough to make him dangerously close to an average player. Some attributed his slack in production to the game on May 21st, when he was hit on the hand by Garrett Olsen. But how long can an injury serve as an excuse for sub-par hitting? The "bad habits" he's picked up should have probably corrected themselves within several weeks of the incident.

His '08 OPS+ was 102 (almost exactly league average) and he was only about 50% successful at getting runners in from third with fewer than two outs. Somehow, he both walked and struck out less. He grounded into 24 double plays, the most in his career and he was behind only much slower runners Vlad Guerrero, Magglio Ordonez and Jermaine Dye.

That's what the numbers tell me. My recollection of watching games this past year tells me that he was less patient at the plate, swinging at the first pitch too frequently, and fouling off more of the balls he used to put in play, and making weaker contact on the balls he used to drive.

In a subjective recall, double plays stand out, not only because they make two outs and erase a hit, but they also kill the mythological "momentum". Similarly, getting runners in from third leave a perceived gimme run on base. These are the kind of plays that fans overvalue. How long is it going to take before they start turning on Jeter? I know he is the ultimate Teflon Man, for the all reasons that we are all too familiar with. But there is a bare minimum level of production fans are willing to tolerate.

Bernie Williams, also a homegrown Yankee, here for all four of the World Series Championships in the late 90's/2000, a former batting champion, World Series MVP, four time Gold Glove winner, and "True Yankee" still saw the fans and the organization turn on him when his power went away and his GIDP's weren't balanced out by the rest of his offensive contributions.

Jeter will make $20 and $21 million over the next two years, respectively. The Yankees decision to backload the contract has left the door open for media criticism of his lack of productivity in relation to his salary. No question Jeter has been worth the value over the length of the contract just on the field. In addition, his value to the club extends well beyond that. I'm not even talking about intangibles, but about the marketability he adds to the Yankees. He is a major reason ESPN covers the Yankees so closely, and his gravitas keeps him and the Yankees on the back pages in New York. Jeter and A-Rod, account for the vast majority of the Yankees star power which shouldn't be overlooked.

After 2010, the organization might have quite the quandary on its hands. Jeter seemingly refuses to acknowledge the erosion of his skills, especially defensively. He's said he doesn't want to move from shortstop, which is okay, in one respect, because aside from catcher, it has the highest tolerance for a below average offensive player. However his defensive range continues to slide, at the second most valuable defensive position.

In a perfect world, he could switch to center field this coming year, replacing the Melky/Gardner shitburger/poo sandwich combo, and hold the place for Austin Jackson. Of course that would require that the Yankees acquire someone who was significantly superior defensively than Jeter (and serviceable offensively), and there aren't an obvious options that wouldn't require a major sacrifice.

I've heard people speculate that before Derek Jeter's career is over, he might amass more than 4,000 hits. He currently has 2,535, still 465 short of 3,000. He certainly won't be at 3K by the time his contract expires in 2010. Will the Yankees give him a sweetheart, lifetime achievement contract as he continues to decline? They didn't with Bernie, and although their star status is not comprable, the decision making may be similar, considering the will likely occur in the Brain Cashman Era.

Will there be a Brett Favre-like "player wants to come back but team wants to move on" scenario? Doubtful, but if Jeter wants a contract based on his previous one and past accomplishments and the Yankees want one that more closely reflects his current value as a player, they might find it hard to come together.