New Poll: 30% Of Yankees Fans Know Nothing About Baseball

During the top of the 6th inning, the YES Network revealed the results of their nightly text poll which asked if viewers thought Ken Griffey Jr. would be a first ballot Hall of Famer or not.

It's a really stupid question, right? I mean, he is one of the guys that gets named when you talk about players who people think almost definitely didn't take performance enhancing drugs, probably the most iconic player of his era, played 22 seasons in the Bigs, made the All-Star team in 13 of them, has 630 home runs, won the 1997 AL MVP, has five more top 5 finishes and won 10 straight Gold Gloves while playing a premium defensive position. He has a better chance of becoming the first unanimus HoF inductee in the history of the game than not getting in on the first ballot.

Uh...

Michael Kay and Al Leiter took the results of the vote to task on air, so I'm not exactly breaking new ground here, but I can certainly use more vulgarity than they did.

Seriously, what the fuck? We think HoF voters are clueless, but if the vote was conducted among people who responded to a YES Network text poll, they would have made him wait an entire year (at the least) to get in because... um... they are fucking clueless?

I think there are a few possibilities here:

• People honestly have no concept of what it takes to get into the HoF and/or Ken Griffey's career because 14 year old kids are the only ones who respond to text polls and they weren't mentally conscious when Griffey was in his prime.
  
  
• It's a small sample size and, as we've delved into before, that sample is badly skewed.
  
  
• They are stupid. No one has ever lost money by underestimating the intelligence of the great masses of the plain people.
  
  
• The respondents are only Yankee fans, as opposed to baseball fans. But even still, if the only time you watched Griffey was when he played the Yankees and listened to the broadcast, there's a good chance that one of the announcers - amid the praise the were lavishing upon him over the clip of the home run he stole from Jesse Barfield - specifically referred to him as a "first ballot Hall of Famer".
  
  
• They just pressed the wrong button.
  
  
• Voters are confusing the term "first ballot" with "unanimous". Maybe people have just enough knowledge about the game to know that no one has ever gotten all the vote in their first year of eligibility but don't know the term or aren't paying close enough attention to the question.

It's probably a combination of all of these and some other things that I couldn't think of but I'm leaning towards the last one. One way or another, the results of the voting either illustrate the stupidity of the question or of the sample. Or both.

Johnny Damon Would Give Himself A 4 Year Deal

One of the more absurd tidbits of the offseason emerged yesterday when Larry Stone of the Seattle Times dropped the following chestnut into an article about the Mariners' interest in signing Johnny Damon (h/t BBTF):

One other rather bizarre Mariner-related Damon anecdote. I heard from someone who works around the Mariners that after Bill Bavasi was fired in 2008, and the Mariners were searching for a new general manager, Damon actually was telling people he would be interested in the job. This person insisted that Damon seemed dead serious, even though he was still an active player. It didn't go anywhere, of course, but I always thought it was an interesting notion. I meant to ask Damon about it last year when the Yankees came to town, but never got a chance.

Johnny Damon seems like a pretty decent guy and when his career is done, he'll probably be a borderline Hall of Famer. He's played for four different organizations (including ones run by Billy Beane, Theo Epstein and Brain Cashman) and been on two World Series winners. The man certainly has an eye for talent. All that said, campaigning for a front office position is one of those times that being a self-proclaimed "idiot" (and "writing" a book about it) might work against you a bit.

Clearly no team with any brains is going to hand over the keys to their franchise to Johnny Damon; I'm certain that any number of assistant GMs or scouting directors or other front office personnel would make a better general manager. If this is true, it makes his request for a four year deal seem downright realistic by comparison.

Don't Kill The Manager

Morning Fackers. Last night sucked. There's no way around it. But what sucks even more is that we are going to have to listen to people second guess every managerial move made last night for two days before Game 6.

I'm not going to name names, but there were a lot of people on Twitter last night who couldn't possibly understand why Mike Scioscia took John Lackey out with 104 pitches with the bases loaded in the top of the 7th (you know, after the Yanks scored all their runs). Interestingly, they were also conveniently outraged that Joe Girardi let A.J. Burnett come out for the 7th inning with 80 pitches (but only after Burnett allowed two men to reach base, of course). And what was pretty much the only thing that those two moves had in common? Neither worked out.

I'm sure they weren't just on Twitter. These Monday morning quarterbacks were probably in the bars and living rooms where you guys were watching the game as well. These people know who they are. Actually, they probably don't because they only deal in hindsight and therefore always agree with the decisions that work out and can't possibly believe what the manager was thinking when one goes wrong.

First, the Lackey move. Don't forget that two batters before he was pulled, Lackey showed up home plate umpire Fieldin Culbreth by waving his arms and yelling at him after a called ball four. He then walked Derek Jeter on 4 pitches and left a ball fat and over the plate that Johnny Damon luckily didn't do much with. Lackey had lost his composure and lost his strike zone and I doubt Culbreth was dying to give him any close pitches. While it was a debatable decision, I can see why Scioscia went to his bullpen. Whether it should have been Darren Oliver is another issue.

As for Burnett, he had given up all four of his runs in the first inning before he even recorded an out. Therefore, he had just pitched 6 consecutive scoreless innings leading up to that point and needed only 68 pitches to do so. What would you have thought about leaving him in if he hadn't allowed those runs in the first? Because what happened in that inning was not nearly as relevant as how he had been throwing the ball since then.

Sure, Girardi could have gone to the bullpen, but the people who are smugly second guessing that decision are the same ones who have been crying about "overmanaging" throughout this postseason mostly because it's become the in vogue thing to say.

Perhaps Girardi could have pulled Burnett after the lead-off single to Mathis. But the only right handed reliever who was ready at that point was Joba, and I think we can agree that he didn't have his best stuff last night. Perhaps he should have had Hughes warming up, but the same thing applies to him. So Burnett gave up the single to Mathis. Is it Girardi's fault that the Angels' back up cather has decided to turn into Josh Gibson during this series? He's literally a career .200 hitter - on the nose.

Does anyone remember how the Yankees got the two outs in that inning? It was Damaso Marte, who Girardi chose over Phil Coke to face Chone Figgins and Bobby Abreu, but I don't hear anyone acknowledging the fact that decision worked out well for him.

The reality is that no matter how the Yankees blew the lead - if Girardi had brought in Joba, Hughes, Robertson, Coke, Aceves, Marte or Rivera in any order - he would be taking shit for it this morning. For instance, if he brought in Hughes and he coughed up the lead, people would be exasperated that Girardi had pulled Burnett after only 80 pitches. Ergo, at a certain point, the blame goes to the players.

Although the offense scored 6 runs, they were useless for 8 innings. The black hole in the bottom of the line-up known as "Nick Swisher" made the Yankees 32.3% less likely to win this game with his offensive contributions (or lack thereof). Johnny Damon wasn't helping either (-11.9%).

Phil Hughes needed to get one out in the 7th inning and the Yankees would have held onto the lead. One out and no one would have been talking about Girardi's bullpen management this morning.

Instead, Hughes issued a pass to Torii Hunter that I'm sure anyone reading this blog could have worked since none of the four balls even sniffed the strike zone. Next, he had Vlad Guerrero right where he wanted him - in a 1-2 count after an ugly swing and miss. Jorge Posada called for a pitch up in the zone, momentarily standing up from his crouch to indicate it, but Hughes served a belt-high meatball along with some spaghetti, Bolognese sauce, grated Pecorino Romano and some delicious garlic bread. He's lucky Vlad is half the man he used to be or else that would have probably been a grand slam instead of a bobbling single up the middle.

The least defensible move that Girardi made, which hardly anyone is talking about because it didn't end up mattering, was the decision to pinch run for A-Rod in the 9th inning. The game almost equally likely to be tied up at that point with A-Rod or Guzman running the bases, as Dave Cameron from FanGraphs demonstrated. Cameron estimates that the marginal gain of putting in Guzman is something like 1%. Girardi traded that in for having his best hitter (and a solid defender) on the bench in extra innings should the Yankees have tied the game. Imagine the uproar if A-Rod's line up slot had come up again.

I understand that Girardi has made his bed by executing a ton of agressive moves this postseason, most of which have worked out but some of which have not. He's exerted too much control over the games too many times, so now people are all too willing to critique every move he makes. He's made the game too much about himself as opposed to the players which is why people are so open with their complaints. But save your breath. As Cameron said in the linked post above, we're tilting at windmills. You can assign blame 'til you're blue in the face, but it's not going to put the Yankees in the World Series. They're going to have to do that themselves sometime this weekend.

Fack Youk Exclusive: A Conspiracy

Good morning Fackers. As Jay mentioned late yesterday afternoon, both he and I were too occupied to tend shop and shuttered a little earlier than usual. What he didn't tell you was that we were busy as part of a major emergency investigation undertaken by the Fack Youk Investigative Report Team.

As you may be aware, Fack Youk has been involved in a bit of a blogowar with a certain Angels' blog whom I refuse to name or link to any longer given the sheer amount of garbage they've spewed over the past week. It began when they tried to go all FJM-style on the Bobby Abreu post I authored last week. I don't usually make a habit of reading blogs dedicated to other teams, but when Jay received a Google alert that my post had been linked to there, I went over to defend my viewpoints as rationally and politely as I could. And that in and of itself wasn't too bad. There was a decent discourse in the comments, nothing got too inane, and things remained relatively friendly.

With them now on my radar and the ALCS underway, I checked back occasionally. And that's when the general IQ level started swirling down the tubes. Yesterday, they unearthed the gem that they had "pretty conclusive evidence" that the secret to Mariano Rivera's success over the past decade and a half was that he was throwing spitballs. Nevermind that spitballs either move erratically or down and that Mariano's cutter moves from his right-to-left. Nevermind that Rivera has spent the past 14 full Big League seasons playing in the planet's biggest media market with dozens upon dozens of his games being aired on national television. In one fell swoop, with a little help from a DVR, these witty gumshoes had uncovered the equivalent of the Zapruder Film spliced with video evidence of Big Foot banging the Loch Ness Monster.

If that weren't enough, as proof that a few idiots crying out in the wilderness really can change the world, the grass roots conspiracy theory grew to the point that MLB actually launched an investigation. The MLB investigation, and a modicum of diligence from a far more rational Angels fan, exonerated Rivera.

Apparently not satisfied that they had their fifteen minutes of fame without becoming the laughingstock of the baseball blogosphere, the site began questioning the expedience with which Rivera was cleared, suggesting that it was a bit fishy and reminding everyone that it took MLB "over a decade" to get to the bottom of steroids, which by the way, everyone who has ever played for the Yankees takes.

Quite a day there for our left coast friends. Not content to sit back and enjoy the likely 50,000 plus page views their responsible and well-thought-out accusations earned them, they came back for an encore yesterday, focusing on three atrocious calls in Game Four, one of which actually benefited the Angels and none of which had any impact on scoring. But see, that's all part of the conspiracy.

What conspiracy you ask? Oh, you poor gullible reader. The joint conspiracy amongst MLB, FOX, and the World Umpires Association to ensure that the Yankees receive favorable calls in order to place the ginormous New York media market in the World Series thereby securing a ratings bonanza. Plus it would keep small-town greater Los Angeles and its tiny metropolitan area of dozens of residents out of the Fall Classic where Bingo Night or a seasonal bobbing for apples contest could single-handedly kill the World Series ratings.

Got all that? Oh, I know what you're going to say: "The umpiring has been horrible all post-season. It's been the single biggest story line all through the playoffs". Well of course it has you nitwit. They couldn't make it obvious; then any moron could have figured it out. They had to disguise it so that only the internet's brightest minds/Angels bloggers could just barely uncover the plot. Look, everyone knew the Yankees were going to get by the Twins, it was when they got to their arch-nemesis, the Angels, who have absolutely pwned the Yanks over the past ten years, that they would need help. So by decree of MLB/FOX/WUA, umpires began intentionally blowing calls throughout the Division Series in order to make it more believable when they started throwing things the Yankees' way in the ALCS. That's why the Angels got the benefit of three blown calls in Game One of the ALDS against the Red Sox; it makes it all the more believable that they're not getting screwed now.

As Yankee fans, of course Jay and I have mixed emotions about corroborating all this shocking news. But the truth will set you free and we want to hold ourselves to a high moral standard rather than be handicapped by blind loyalty to the juiced up cheating Yankees. That's why we took the afternoon off yesterday, to partake in a daring mission to capture the security tapes of the headquarters at said Angels blog. That way we could prove to the world that they did in fact have airtight evidence that all their claims were true. Unfortunately, MLB/FOX/WUA/CIA operatives arrived just as we were about to make our getaway, recapturing the security footage from us in an effort to leave the entirety of the baseball loving public in blissful ignorance.

But we are undeterred. We turned to the Fack Youk Artistic Reconstruction Team, a crack assemblage of disgraced former police sketch artists and art school dropouts and had them reconstruct what we had seen at the Angel blog fortress of solitude. The reconstruction is below. Prepare to have your minds blown:



See how reeediculous all this sounds? So in honor of the folks over at the Blog That Shall Not Be Named, here's a video starring A-Rod's girlfriend's ex-husband:

Checking In With The Best Fans In The World

Yesterday Mike Lupica declared Yankees fans the best in the world, not just the MLB. We took exception to that, and figured that today would be a good day to reassess that statement.

Let's see how these unparalleled, die-hard, loyal, knowledgeable and passionate fans dealt with their first loss in 17 days (all [sic'd], obviously). Enjoy:

Gardner in CF 8:36 pm
melky didn’t even go after that. i hope he never puts on a Yankees uniform again.

Mark B 8:38 pm
Torre would not have made that error….Girardi better learn from the mistake and move on tomorrow

Howie 8:40 pm
Girardi manages like a kid who found his Fathers gun.

EY 8:42 pm
Here’s a suggestion.

Take out Aceves and add Bruney.

swish 8:44 pm [Presumably not the actual Nick Swisher]
If they go on to lose the series i hope they fire Girardi.

What an awful display of managing.

Asseves sucks and he is the last to know! Wow.

Joker, The 8:44 pm
I hate Girardi. My dog could manage better than him. And as for Cano, Swisher, and Melky? They can all go to hell.

100 pitches of fun... 8:45 pm
Girardi is CLEARLY in over his head in these games. He is “choking” more than Arod ever did from 04-07. It’s almost like he gets too nervous and doesn’t know what to do.

H.E.PennyPacker 8:46 pm
Fire Girardi. He is incompetent.

Jeana 8:49 pm
I would bench Melky tomorrow….really. And Cano….I don’t even know WHAT to say about his performance.

Upstate 8:53PM
[About Melky] Lazy, overrated, pudgy, idiot who swings at crap – every time !!!

haiku-man 8:57 pm
Why did Joe walk to the mound so much?He has others that can relay his message. We never seen the pitch coach. I HOPE HE CAN’T SLEEP...

Oh no, Joe G over-managing again 9:00 pm
Joe Girardi needs to get fired for the sins he committed today….
This is even worse than Grady Little….
GOD AWFUL

CR9 9:01 pm
While I will not blame Girardi for using Aceves, I have come to my final opinion on Aceves. He cannot and should not be used anymore this postseason. I would rather have Jerry Hairston Jr. pitching than Ace. Aceves is a worthless bum.

On a side note, did anyone notice the 15 cheap calls at least on the right side of the plate in favor of the Angels...

The Ghost 9:06 pm
The thing that Joe needs to learn about the post season is that some guys have the gut for it and some don’t. He should be able to look in a players eyes before the game and know if they could be of any use to him. The eyes can never lie. When a guy like Drob is feeling it you have to milk it for all its worth.

Trevor 9:07 pm
Explain to me how this years offense is better in the playoffs now then years past?
Outside of Arod and Jeter they look no different then typical October Yankee offense: Can’t get sac fly’s, can’t hit with RISP, can’t bunt except for Jeter….
The offense absolutely sucks right now and I’m wondering will they get out of it the rest of the way.

Oh no, Joe G over-managing again 9:07 pm
Aceves should never be used again in the postseason.

Every time he comes in, we give up a run.

Fire Girardi, bench Melky and Aceves, and we win WS.

KarlHungus212 9:08 pm
Every single person watching the ballgame not named Girardi knew it was idiotic to take Robertson out after facing two batters, easily retiring them. Girardi must go regardless of the outcome of the rest of the postseason.

Jeremy 9:10 pm
Tex was a loser of the game. Yeah he helped save some runs and made some great plays but he was horrible at the plate. It’s like he never saw a breaking pitch in his life. The same goes for Cano, Swisher, and Cabrera. All losers of the game.

100 pitches of fun... 9:16 pm
Is the $180m 1st baseman actually going to show up tomorrow? Or is he trying to take Arod’s old job.

CR9 9:18 pm
There is a reason why the Red Sox were able to easily sweep 2 World Series and come back from 3-0 and 3-1 defecits and 2-0 deficits in Division Series. They do not get their ABs changed by umpires cheap calls.

We have had to work for every win this postseason. Nothing has come easy, mainly due to the HP umpires...

KarlHungus212 9:19 pm
JoeT, regular season is not what counts in New York. Girardi has proven to everybody that he is in over his head managing this team. A meat popsicle could have managed this team to a division title.

NOW is when it counts and Joe has managed worse than anybody I’ve seen in my life.

And finally, I believe that "dave c." here may be advocating some form of terrorism...

dave c. 9:21 pm

Even we are up 2-1, we are not going to win the series… not unless someone blows up Angels stadium.

Series over. Angels in 6 games.

July 10, 2009, Yankees led 4-0, Angels won.
July 11, 2009, Yankees led 4-0, Angels won.
October 19, 2009, Yankees led 3-0, Angels won.

Hmmm... quite the convincing argument he puts forth. The Angels have comeback against the Yankees two other times this season, therefore the Yankees are going to lose the next three games. Brilliant.

Quite the resilient fan base, huh? One loss and Girardi is no better "meat popsicle" and should be fired either immediately or after they lose this series (which they inevitably will). "Asseves" can never be used in the postseason again (and/or somehow be replaced by Brian Bruney despite rules to the contrary). Three starting position players can "go to hell" and Melky should never play for the Yankees again. Despite several huge and potentially game-saving defensive plays, Mark Teixeria is a loser. Even though the Yanks are 5-1 in the postseason, the umps are screwing us. And most devastatingly, the series is now officially over.

BEST. FANS. EVVVARRR!!!11!1!

Mitch Williams Is An Idiot

You probably knew that already anyway. If you don't recall as such from his playing days, perhaps you've listened to him trip over his own tongue repeatedly on the MLB Network this year. If not, simply refer to the picture below.

"I cut the sleeves off because it looks awesome, now get your head in the game!"

Last night, after finishing the recap, I checked a few other Yankee sites and had MLBN on in the background. I was only half listening. I noticed that recently DFA'd former Yankee and all-around good guy Tony Clark had joined the studio team - good for him. Combined with Sean Casey, last night's panel had two of the most well-liked Big Leaguers of the past twenty years or so.

But for all the goodwill that The Mayor and Tony the former Tiger can generate, one meandering argument from The Wild Thing ruined it all for me.

I'm not even quite sure what point Williams was trying to make. Maybe that's because I wasn't dedicating my full attention, or maybe it's because Williams hasn't made a lucid argument in his entire time with the fledgling network.

Regardless, the conversation started with the increasingly tiresome AL MVP debate. Williams stated that Mauer is at a disadvantage because he's a catcher and his legs are going to go on him at some point before the season's over. Except then Mitch said that Mauer is at an advantage because he missed the first month of the season, so he's fresher than he would be. Ok, advantage: push.

Then Derek Jeter came up. And Mitch made some point about batting average being an overvalued statistic. "Wow," I thought, "Mitch Williams is making a salient point."

Then Mitch took a turn for the inane. For some reason, Williams started comparing Jeter to Jimmy Rollins, who while a shortstop, plays in an entirely different league - so I'm not quite sure what any of it had to do with the AL MVP discussion.

That said, Williams, again emphasizing that batting average is an overvalued statistic, illustrated this by pointing out that despite a cavernous gap between them in batting average, Jimmy Rollins has 10 more doubles than Derek Jeter and has a fielding percentage that is superior by .007. End of story.

Well that's just great Mitch. Now let's finish the discussion. A .007 advantage in fielding percentage is nearly meaningless. The average Major League shortstop last year fielded 728 chances. A .007 difference in fielding percentage means that over the course of a season Rollins would turn roughly five more chances into outs. Five. That's less than one per month over the course of the season.

Of course, since Mitch is so plugged in to which stats are overvalued, he probably knows that fielding percentage is not a very accurate method of measuring a player's defensive value. A more advanced metric would be UZR/150. Now there's no denying that over the course of their respective careers, Jimmy Rollins has been a much, much, much better defensive player than Derek Jeter, holding a career edge in UZR/150 of 10.2 runs. However, this year, Derek Jeter's UZR/150 is 6.8 as opposed to Rollins' 5.9. So for 2009 at least, advantage Jeter.

How about offense? Well yes Mitch, Rollins does have a whopping 10 double lead. How about the other three types of hits a batter can get? 2009 slugging percentage Jimmy Rollins: .415. 2009 slugging percentage Derek Jeter: .482. And before anyone mentions a word about the new Yankee Stadium, let's remember that Citizens Bank Park is also very hitter friendly. Its one year park factors (102/101) are only slightly less offensive than Yankee Stadium's (103/103), and its multiyear factors (103/102) are nearly identical to how the Stadium has played in its brief history.

But, offense is more than just doubles. As Mitch knows, batting average is overrated. On base percentage is probably the best single measure of offensive value. 2009 OBP Rollins: .290. 2009 OBP Jeter: .398. Huge, huge, huge advantage Jeter. Both men bat leadoff. Over the course of a full season, Jeter will be on base roughly 83 more times based on their current OBPs. Jimmy Rollins' OBP is the absolute lowest of any Major Leaguer with at least 450 plate appearances this year. There are but six American Leaguers with a better OBP than Jeter.

How about something really advanced and all-encompassing: 2009 Wins Above Replacement Rollins: 1.8. 2009 Wins Above Replacement Jeter: 5.9. Once again, huge advantage Jeter. He's been worth more than three times as much to his team this year.

I'm not trying to bag on Jimmy Rollins. I'm not trying to suggest that Jeter is or isn't the AL MVP. But I am absolutely stupefied as to what point Mitch Williams was trying to make. That Joe Mauer has legs? That Jeter's not the MVP? That Jeter hits for average and that's all he's good for? That Jimmy Rollins isn't having an absolutely abysmal season? I don't know. I'm not sure Mitch knows. But, by virtue of his employment at MLBN, the guy is supposed to be a national authority on the sport. Whatever point he was trying to make, it was poorly, poorly constructed and its delivery was even worse.

In summary:
Joe Mauer's legs = a blessing and a curse, he may want to hedge his bets and cut one off
Batting average = overrated
Doubles = underrated
Fielding percentage = just right
UZR/150, OBP, WAR = non-existent
Mitch Williams = rivaling John Kruk for dumbest '93 Phillie turned analyst

What Just Happened Here?!?!

Good morning Fackers, and those of you who are still sticking around to tell us how "facking qweaah" we are.

Well it was quite a day around here wasn't it? Thanks to some Tuesday night shenanigans in Boston, some tedious work with MLB.tv and Windows Movie Maker by Jay, and gracious links from Big League Stew, Deadspin, The 700 Level, The Legend of Cecilio Guante, and the Cleveland Frowns, this place absolutely blew up. Good thing Jay and I didn't both go the Yankee game or anything like that..... oh wait, we did.

In our absence, what was conceived as a well earned jab at some jackass-ish behavior somehow devolved into a cesspool of anonymous tough-guy commenting centering around steroids, tainted championships, relative payroll levels, fanbase paranoia, recent playoff history, and a bunch of other horseshit. Oh, and I think I might have been invited to visit Texas as well. I'm still trying to discern what the hell any of that has to do with what happened in Boston Tuesday.

So at the risk of stirring up yet another shitstorm, let me see if I can offer as objective an outlook on Youkgate as humanly possible from a dirty facking Yankee fan. The way the first game and two innings of the Tigers-Sox series unfolded, I suppose something like this was bound to happen. The Sox were coming off a four game sweep at the hands of their division rival - a series that had its share of hit batsmen tomfoolery - and were playing their worst baseball of the season.

Monday night's game saw three hit batsmen: Miguel Cabrera in the top of the fourth, Youkilis in the bottom, and Brandon Inge in the the eighth. On Tuesday the teams picked up right where they left off. Cabrera was hit again in the top of the first, causing him to leave the game. For what it's worth, I didn't think that pitch was intentional. In the bottom of the inning, Porcello came inside on Victor Martinez. Martinez didn't like it. I don't think Porcello was trying to hit him, but I'm sure his intent was to come inside. Whether that was retribution or whether it was because that's just a good way to pitch I'm not entirely sure.

Either way, the climate was perfect for a fight when Youkilis led off the bottom of the second. I'm convinced that sometimes, particularly when tensions are high like that, a batter will go to the plate having already made the decision to make a big deal out of anything close to hitting him. That's how we wound up with Manny Ramirez inciting a bench clearing incident in the 2003 ALCS on a pitch that was high, but over the plate. That's how we wound up with Richie Sexson charging the mound on a pitch that was outside. And that's how we wound up with Youkilis, who had already been plunked once in the series, charging the mound on a two seam fastball that appears to have hit him without any intent.

According to pitch f/x, Tuesday night Porcello threw eight four seam fastballs, averaging nearly 93 MPH and topping out at 94 MPH. He threw half as many two seamers, averaging just under 92 MPH, and topping out at 92.2 MPH. MLB Gameday had the two seamer that hit Youkilis at a blistering 89 MPH. According to fangraphs, Porcello's pitch selection and velocity Tuesday, despite the small sample size, was in line with his results this season. So if he wanted to hit Youkilis, why would he choose to do it with a two seamer, a pitch that he throws half as often and anywhere from 1 to 5 MPH slower than his four seamer?

Some might point out that entering last night's game, Porcello had hit just one batter in 111 IP in 2009. That's a fair point, but in his lone minor league season, Porcello plunked 11 batters in just 125 innings of work. But I mean, that's all in the past right? 20 year old Major League pitchers should have impeccable control.

Either way, Youk charged the mound and threw his helmet like a coward. Porcello, giving up about twenty pounds, executed a nice hip toss that would have made Tito Santana proud, leaving Youk at the bottom of the pig pile.

Despite what the pro-Sox contingent commenting here had to say, Youk isn't winning this one on the national stage. The Deadspin comments - not the best gauge but definitely not a biased cross section - were decidedly anti-Youk. Keith Law tore him a new one before the game was even over. MLBN was none too kind to him Tuesday night, and what little coverage I saw on ESPN wasn't too complimentary either. In a way, even the MLB suspensions speak to that: Youk got five games which he began serving last night. Porcello, his ejection dubious to begin with, was also given five. However, most starting pitchers suspended for similar "offenses" have been given six games. The Tigers can easily work Porcello's suspension around an off day, making sure he doesn't miss a start. Alternatively, if Porcello's appeal reduces the suspension by a single game, it will cover his normal rest. But whatever, ignore what's being said on the national stage - several dozen anonymous commenters here can't be wrong.

Now, I don't want to pick through all ninety-some-odd comments we had on the initial post and critique them one by one, but there are two that I'd like to highlight.

First, we have the Greco-Roman wrestling expert who proclaims (sic'd) "The man on defense has the advantage when he knows its coming". Well, sure they do, that's why it's called going on the defensive. Wait - never mind - it's called going on the offensive, because, you know, it's better to attack than be attacked, particularly when you have a running start, your opponent is retreating, and you elect to use protective gear as a missile. I may not be the fighting expert that this anonymous commenter apparently is, but I have taken several physics courses, and I do know that Youkilis' 220 lbs coming at a full sprint is preferable to Porcello's 200 lbs at a standstill. Momentum equals mass times velocity. And for future reference Youk, next time you attack a guy who has you by four inches but is giving you twenty pounds, it might be a better idea to go low. Perhaps if you had spent more time with the Huggins Thugs during your time at Cincy you would know this.

Secondly, we have "I love how you end the clip before youk rolls over on him like he is about to ground and pound him to a bloody pulp". Yes, I'm sure that's exactly what was about to happen next. We've all seen this guy before. He's usually the one who talks a bunch of shit, tears his shirt off, then begs his friends to "hold him back", you know, for the other guy's good, not because he's really a pussy and doesn't actually want to fight. Alternatively, he's the guy who gets his ass kicked, and upon the merciful ending of the fight asks his friends, "Why'd you break it up?!?! I had him right where I wanted him".

Anyway, thanks for the record-shattering day everyone. With just one post we received about a month's worth of traffic. Too bad most of it was a barren wasteland of anonymous idiocy. Despite what I've described above, I see now that we probably should have blindly praised Youkilis for his gritty guttiness and his gutty grittiness. The rest of the post should have been about how the Yankees suck and all take steroids and buy championships and how insecure they are with a 5.5 game lead more than two thirds of the way through the season.

Never mind the fact that I completely unfairly slammed the guy on Monday for his outfield play over the weekend, and no one said peep. The guy took one for the team when it was needed, put himself on the line, and we (predictably) made fun of him for it no one called us out on it. The lowest common denominator wins again.

I realize that calling the blog "Fack Youk", though done somewhat tongue-in-cheek, is antagonistic. As such, a certain amount of what happened yesterday is to be expected when people don't get the joke. But I'm utterly amazed that what I thought was a fairly cut and dry post spurred the pissing match that followed. But what do I know? Keep the comments coming; let's just try to up the collective IQ a bit this time around. As for me I've said my next-to-last about the Sox until the next head-to-head series starts next Friday.

Lessons in Overmanagement: Outfield Edition

As if the three game sweep at the hands of the Angels wasn't bad enough for this Monday morning, via Peter Abraham we get this little nugget of idiocy courtesy of the man who wears his heart on his sleeve and his mission on his back:

"As I told all the outfielders today, we have five guys who are playing pretty good," the manager said before a 5-4 loss against the Angels. "Everyone's going to play. It's all about winning ballgames. We know everyone wants 600 at-bats, but it's probably not going to happen."

Well good golly, Skip. We know you want to win the World Series, but if those are the kinds of managerial decisions you're going to make, it's probably not going to happen. And by the way Joe, you have five outfielders who are playing pretty well, not pretty good. You're Northwestern educated, try to act like it.

Here's a look at the numbers of the five Yankee outfielders, plus Godzilla for good measure:

Damon: .276/.362/.510, OPS+: 127, UZR/150: -15.6 LF
Swisher: .237/.360/.464, OPS+: 115, UZR/150: 1.8 RF
Matsui: .265/.367/.517, OPS+: 130
Gardner: .282/.352/.404, OPS+: 99, UZR/150: 20.1 CF
Cabrera: .285/.347/.439, OPS+: 105, UZR/150: -3.5 CF, 11.2 RF, 3.8 LF
Hinske: .263/.379/.411, OPS+: 121, UZR/150: 2.4 RF

I applauded the Hinske move when it was made, and I still feel he was a good acquisition for the bench. I think the Gardner/Cabrera two headed monster has done a commendable job in CF, producing better than the average AL centerfielder. I know Damon has looked pretty bad in the field, and the numbers bear that out. I realize Swisher is prone to adventurous plays in the field and boneheaded decisions on the bases.

That said, any OF/DH lineup that doesn't include Matsui, Damon, Swisher, and one of either Gardner or Cabrera puts the Yankees at a disadvantage. Matsui, Damon, and Swisher are third, fifth, and eighth on the team in OPS respectively. There is a sizeable gap between the worst of those three and the best of the other three, despite Hinske's good numbers in a small sample size. If it really is "all about winning ballgames", this latest idea probably isn't one to pursue.

I don't have a problem with sitting both Damon and Swisher yesterday given their numbers against Lackey. I'm all for giving Damon and Matsui a day off here and there to keep them fresh. I'm all for sitting Swisher down from time to time if he needs to be sent a message. I'm all for sending in Gardner or Cabrera for defensive purposes in the late innings (although it would appear that it's Damon, not Swisher, who needs substitution). But to enter anything remotely resembling a platoon that's taking regular at bats away from Matsui, Damon, or Swisher is going to have a negative effect on this team's chances of winning.

We've talked in the past about our displeasure with Girardi's overhandling of the bullpen. It looks like his "hands on" strategy will infect the outfield as well. I fear that the infield is next, and I'm only half-sarcastic when I say that. "Listen, I know Jeet's having one of his best seasons in years, but we have to get Cody some at bats".

/bangs head against wall repeatedly

I had hoped that Girardi's hiring meant that the Yankees were getting a cerebral manager, someone who would make informed, intelligent decisions. Despite the team's success this year, with each passing day I'm feeling more and more like that is not the case. This situation will bear watching as the second half unfolds.

Better Off Without Him?

Since A-Rod has returned, the Yankees are 8-2 in the 10 games in which he has played. Prior to his return, the team was 13-15.

Mark Teixeira is 13-of-36 with five home runs, 13 RBI since his return. Prior to his return, he hit .198, with 5 homers and 15 RBI.

It is clear that the Yankees now have the best 3-4 combo in the Bigs.

So do you still think that we are better off without him?

Roger Clemens Would Like You To Know That He Is Still Delusional

[Update: Here is the interview]

This morning, Roger Clemens appeared on Mike and Mike in the Morning, to react to the book American Icon: The Fall of Roger Clemens and the Rise of Steroids In America's Pastime which was released today. And by "react to", I mean "hammer the same trite talking points that no one has bought since this information came out". Another amusing aspect of this is it only serves to raise awareness of the book well beyond its authors or publishers ever could have hoped to do themselves.

If he wasn't such a defiantly arrogant prick, you might almost feel bad for the guy. He comes on a nationally syndicated radio program and aside from Rusty Hardin, he might be the only person who actually believes what he is saying. For a more complete synopsis of the main points of questioning and Clemens' reactions to them, check out what Jason at IIATM,S posted.

Right out of the gate, he busts out with two painfully contrived stunts. First, he makes it clear that this is the only interview he is going to be able to do because he is supposedly going away for a week.

Clemens: I'm gettin' ready to go out of town, err, out of the country for a week... 

[...]

RC (About a minute later): Deb and I are getting ready to go out of town, err, out of the country for a week.

The fact that he instantly corrects himself both times and makes a point to say that he is leaving the country, would indicate that it was a talking point fed to him by Hardin or one of his other advisers. Why would it be important where he is going (unless he wanted to make it look like he wasn't dodging other interviews)? He came on Mike and Mike because he know they weren't going to be overly aggressive with their questioning. They did a pretty good job, but let him off the hook repeatedly. Has Clemens ever even left the country (aside from playing in Toronto)?He doesn't really strike me as much of an international traveler. Where is he going? Obviously not Mexico...

However, it was the second one I found most egregious.

RC: [Talking lowly away from the phone]

Mike Greenberg: Roger, are you still with us?

RC: [Still talking away from the phone, but audibly now] Okay buddy, I'll get ready to take you to school in a minute.

Are... you... fucking... kidding... me? This is your first interview in over a year, and you couldn't get your wife or one of your fifteen advisers to watch your kids for 10 minutes? I'm calling bullshit. This just happened to occur withing the first minute of the interview? His youngest child is no less than TWELVE YEARS OLD. It's not like he's got some clueless kindergartner wandering around the house.

Clemens also provides another iron clad reason that he couldn't have possibly used steroids: People in his family have suffered from heart conditions. He lists off two people who have suffered heart attacks, one of which was his stepfather. Roger Clemens - Nobel Prize Winning Geneticist.

RC: Our family has a history of heart conditions. My brother had a heart attack in his late 40's, my stepdad died of a heart attack... Uh, I mean, it would be suicidal for me to, even think about taking any of these dangerous drugs. 

No. No it would not. This is the worst defense you could possibly put forth. How could I have done this, it would have been inadvisable for me to do so?1?! Never mind the possibility that he could have resurrected his entire career, profited nine figure sums, won multiple World Series, and achieved international fame and athletic glory. But for him to potentially take a few years off of his life would have prevented him from doing steroids. Nice try, but I don't think so. 

A few other notes:

• Throughout the interview, Clemens refereed to the book as "piling on". Does he want to us to feel sorry for him? "Piling on" doesn't imply that what is being said is false. 
  
  
• He did later refer to McNamee's accusations as "totally false" and "impossible". Roger, your trainer, Brain McNamee injected your wife (not a professional athlete) with HGH. It is certainly not impossible, much less implausible that he did the same to you, considering that you had the world to gain by letting him so do.
  
  
• Still says that Andy Pettitte "misremembers" and they are still friends
  
  
• Danced around A-Rod and Manny questions, saying he didn't know the details about Manny's test and that he watched only a portion of A-Rod's interview with Peter Gammons and none of his second press conference.
  
  
• Constantly talked about "the kids" and how he has been throwing batting practice to them, how steroids are bad for them, etc. 
  
  
• Claimed he has been getting "great responses" in all of the cities he has been traveling to. 
  
  
• And finally, at the very end of the interview when Golic asked him whether he was finished playing, he compared himself to Brett Favre and said that if Favre comes back, he might have to start "pounding the pavement". 

I hadn't thought of the comparison, but it's certainly interesting one, with the most glaring similarity being that I wish both of them would take the millions of dollars they have made from playing professional sports and fucking dissapear forever.