Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Hello....and Goodbye

That is what BC said to the top 25 this week with a win over #1 UNC followed up by a truly uninspired showing at home against Harvard.

(Cliff beat me too this, but as Fack Youk's expert on BC hate, I will follow up)

Harvard walked into whatever shit hole BC plays at and smoked them by 12, 82-70 (Note: Harvard has never beat a ranked team before tonight and lost 15 of their last 16 against BC.) This will surely fuel the inferiority complex throughout BC's faggy student body.

I think this is could stand out on BC's record come tourney time (obviously depending on how the rest of the season shakes out). Laying down to Harvard after beating #1 in the country is pathetic. I am not downplaying beating a #1 team, but when they are in your conference it is a little less impressive because you play them so often and anything can and does happen in conference play.

Now, to preemptively shut everyone (Joe) up about Cuse losing to Cleveland State, which I do admit that this was also pathetic.

1. It is Cuse's fault for it being that close, but CSU won on a fucking prayer 60 footer at the buzzer.

2. That loss means absolutely nothing because it is overshadowed by the 3 wins over top 25 teams within a week of that game (1 on the road, 1 at neutral site, and 1 "neutral site" against Kansas).

Today Was Not a Great Day for Boston College


















I am sure there will be more said about this tomorrow, but since Will had been on a rant and I just purely dislike all things Boston, I thought I would mention that today was not BC’s finest day. First, they fire the head coach of the Football team, and then the #24 Golden Eagles lose on the hardwood to Harvard at home. Not to mention it was Harvard’s first win ever over a ranked team. Can’t say I am complaining though.

Inspire The Ire: Eagles Enmity [Part I]

[For much of the 2009 season, the Eagles have been an afterthought to the Giants and their fanbase. After the Week 10 victory, the Giants were 8-1 and on the fast track to the #1 seed in the NFC, while the Eagles were 5-4 and trying to collect themselves for a second half run.

When they met in Week 13, the Giants clinched the NFC East despite a 20-14 loss. Maybe the Super Bowl victory took some of the edge off of our antipathy towards the team that traditionally takes top billing as the most hated divisional rival. Maybe it's because the Cowboys with all their "superstars" and drama became the primary targets of Giants' fan disdain.

As a result, we have decided to provide some kindling for the hot coals of contempt for the Eagles that smolder deep within each Giants fan with a special several-part Fack Youk presentation: Inspire The Ire: Eagles Enmity]

[Part I - By: Jay]

If you've gone out drinking on the Upper West Side of Manhattan, there's a chance you've been to Bourbon Street. If you've ever gone out drinking anywhere, you've almost definitely been to a place just like it.

It's your prototypical dive bar, with ladies undergarments stapled to the ceiling and kitchy signs and antiquey-looking trash hung on the wall like its some sort of R-Rated Applebee's. The playlist every Friday and Saturday night consists of the same cliched 80's songs like "Livin' On a Prayer", "Jessie's Girl" and "I Love Rock and Roll". In fact, they even do a cut rate Coyote Ugly imitation to "Pour Some Sugar On Me", where the female bartenders pour shots of some brightly colored vodka combination down patrons' gullets at a specific time every weekend night (I couldn't tell you exactly what time, for a variety of reasons).

I may or may not have stumbled out of there few years ago on New Years Day at about 9AM. It's the rare kind of place in NYC that actually has good specials like 50 cent (12 oz.) Bud drafts every Thursday and Friday from 9 to 11. The place does have some uses.

One of those uses is for watching football. They have a ton of TVs, and if you get there fairly early on a Sunday, you can grab a stool at the bar or a seat at a table with a perfect view of a TV with your team's game on it. They don't make their own food, so they allow you to bring your own in, and the Bud Lights are $3. If you want to watch some football at a bar and not spend a ton of money, it's a excellent option.

During Week 11, Sampson and I journeyed up to 79th & Amsterdam to catch the Giants play the Ravens. We got there sufficiently early and grabbed a high top table underneath a few TVs and across from the biggest screen the Giants game was being shown on. As it turns out, the Eagles game was on one of the TVs above our heads.

If you'll recall, in Week 11, the Eagles played the Bengals. As the Giants were running over the Ravens, the Eagles game got off to a slow start, and the Philly fans clustered around the TV were pretty quiet. After a scoreless first quarter, a wiry guy with long-ish hair wearing a Brian Westbrook jersey and a winter hat sauntered in. He looked like a pretty chill guy, like someone who might listen to Phish while driving around in his 1992 Jeep Cherokee Laredo.

Not so much. This dude was one of the biggest assholes I have ever viewed a sporting event at a bar in the presence of. As soon as he got there, he was screaming at the TV, calling out individual defensive backs like, "What the FUCK, Lito Sheppard?!?". He coined an amazingly uncreative nickname for Donovan McNabb, "Donovan McShit". He wouldn't fucking stop. Every play was "What a FUCKING terrible play call Mornhinweg!", or "Andy Reid, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!?!" He was knowledgeable, I suppose...

If you want to yell at the TV in the comfort of your own home, in the company of friends, by all means, go to town. If you are the angry type of fan who thinks they should be calling the plays, and you are smarter than everyone in the organization, let it out. Maybe if Andy Reid was my coach and Donovan McNabb my QB, I might be the same way. But Jesus-fucking-Christ, how little dignity must you have, to yell this shit at the top of your lungs in a bar in a city which your team is not even based?

Anyway, after the Giants game was over, the Eagles and Bengals were just heading into overtime, and the bartender switched the TV we were watching over to the Eagles game. Honestly, watching McNabb spike screen passes at Westbrook's feet and get called for a delay of game in OT, I thought, "Maybe this asshole has a point".

In an ending that I couldn't have scripted better myself, the game concluded in an orgasmically (for me) anticlimactic tie and Angry Winter Hat Dude stomped out of the bar and shot Sampson and I a sneer as we laughed out loud.

Guess where we are watching the game on Sunday. I really hope he's there.

Fuck the Philly, the Eagles, their fans, their damaged landmarks, their disgusting "cheese" "steaks" and everything about that godforsaken city except Ben Franklin, Cliff and Always Sunny.

Sox and Yanks, (gulp) Together? Yes We Can!

This blog's poster child is one of the more recent reported additions to team USA for the WBC. Yoooouuukkk will join fellow Sock and reigning AL MVP, Pedroia on the squad which opens up play against our neighboring Canucks on March 7. The squad also features some serious talent with the likes of David Wright, Grady Sizemore, and Ryan Braun. The team is going to be led by Jeter, and this Boston fan couldn't agree more with the decision. I may not like him, but I certainly respect him - and there isn't a ballplayer out there better for the role.

Personally, I am loving the fact that we're putting our top dogs on the squad this year, and not sending out the farm guys. Baseball is of course America's game, and Japan taking down the first World Baseball Classic while the U.S. of A. did not even place, was disgusting. Baseball is clearly a different game than basketball, so just putting studs on the diamond doesn't guarantee victory. But I really hope we kick some serious ass, and just run the score up on anyone who stands in our way. I'm talking like 22-3, 19-1... really just humiliate teams.

But the real intrigue in all of this is if Yanks fans will cheer for Youk and the Destroia? Will Sox fans cheer for Jeter? Will Boston and New York be slapping each other five after a Jeter, Pedroia, Youk 6-4-3? Sure we have the annual All-Star Game, but there really isn't a need for camaraderie since the AL dominates and no one really cares. So I guess that begs the question, are people going to care?

Personally, I'm going to get fired up for this, and will even be pulling for the Princess of Pinstripes for a few weeks.

A Few Good Reasons To Read 'The Sports Hernia'

I'm not sure how many of you subscribe to or stop by The Sports Hernia Blog on a regular basis. It's usually not much more than a photo and a hilarious caption, but it's almost always laugh out loud funny.

Here are some selected recent posts:
Knicks studio guy is as confused as his hair
NBC to nation: The Dumbest GM of All-Time is still smarter than anyone we have in studio
Colt McCoy's sister revels in his failures
Gumbel to Sager: "I'm coming for ya"
Belichick placed in customary storage room until August

Some older ones:
Report: Marc Iavaroni apparently trapped inside haunted house at all times
NFL Network interviews Chad, Chad, Chad and Chad
First grader manages to get Erin Andrews more excited than you ever will
NBA All-Transvestite Team finally revealed
S.S.H.L.S.* spotted at Fenway
Andy Reid...
Time for the asshat mailbag
Doc & Darryl suddenly intrigued by Yankee baseball
Elfish dork literally feeds off buzz of the crowd
Cashman explains "the move" to A-Rod
A-Rod applauds as Yanks break ground on new team day spa
State Trooper Giambi makes triumphant return

And my all-time favorite:
Joba Chamberlain continues to disgrace the game with his wild celebration antics

Athletes Get Away With (Attempted) Murder

Does anyone remember when that really good wide receiver got arrested for shooting a gun and almost killing someone?
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No, not that one. The other one.
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I said wide receiver, not cornerback.
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That's the one!

Here is the short of it.

Last April in Philly, Harrison (allegedly) shot someone outside of a bar that he owned called Playmakers. At least five shots were fired from a "custom Belgian handgun" and ballistics testing conclusively linked shell casings found at the scene to a gun registered to Harrison. The gun was found stashed down the street in a car wash that Harrison also owned.

The DA is not pursuing charges any further, saying the witnesses gave "multiple, mutually exclusive, and inherently untrustworthy and false statements" (meaning Harrison probably paid them off).

[The DA] Abraham's announcement stunned Robert Gamburg, the attorney who's representing Dixon's civil suit against the Indianapolis Colts wide receiver. "It's mind-boggling," Gamburg said. "I can name 15 district attorneys who would have been more than willing to go to court with the evidence they had and present the case."

Opting not to file criminal charges because of credibility issues "would eliminate about 85 percent of the murder prosecutions in the city of Philadelphia," Gamburg added.

Now, this got swept under the rug pretty quickly last spring and this is the first I am hearing from it since. I recall on more than one occasion asking whoever I was watching football with this season "didn't Harrison shoot someone, how the fuck is he not in jail?" Another quote from the DA:
"I'm pretty comfortable that I know who fired the gun, but I'm not going to say
because I don't have the evidence," she said.
As a semi-law abiding citizen I have to say, What the fuck?

As a life-long 'Cuse fan, and subsequently a huge Harrison fan, I can only assume that the DA saw that a man from such a prestigious and successful university could never commit such atrocities. I think I'll stick with that one.

Thanks Mrs. Teix!

Shysterball doesn't make too much of the cute story that Mrs. Teixeira's input was the "deciding factor" for Mark to come to the Yankees. He says:
I suppose it's entirely possible that Leigh Teixeira was the driving force behind the Yankees landing their new slugger. I suppose that to some it might even matter. I also suppose, however, that if I wanted to change the subject from a contentious negotiation with the Red Sox and a media firestorm about the size of my contract in these tough economic times that I might float the story that my wife made the call so I don't look so damn mercenary about it. A new angle on Mike Hampton's "I'm signing with the Rockies because the schools in Denver are good" if you will.
That makes a lot of sense. Listening to the press conference, Teix seems like a really positive genuine kind of a dude, so I'd like to take what he says at face value, but he is a Boras client.

I know nothing about Mrs. Teixeira, except that her first name is Leigh, but let's not discount her opinion as frivolous either. Maybe she was thinking about more than just school districts and the colors of the uniform. Mark did have to choose between several fairly close options, and perhaps it really his wife's vote that pushed it over the top. Here is a short list of things, that if she was thinking at all about Mark's career, she would have taken into account (aside from the $20 million more than the Angels & $10 million more than the Red Sox):
  1. The acquisition of CC Sabathia
  2. Sharing the infield with Alex Rodriguez, Derek Jeter and Robinson Cano
  3. The acquisition of AJ Burnett
  4. A chance to win a World Series now (as opposed to the Nationals)
  5. The steady revenue stream provided by the New Yankee Stadium
  6. The size of the New York market and the Yankees' nationwide fan base
  7. His childhood idolization of Don Mattingly
  8. The history of the organization

And also

Welcome to town, Mrs. T! You made a good choice.

[Note: In no way did Mrs. T's resemblance to Reese Witherspoon encourage me to write this post]

Eagles Injury Report

In NFL news that people actually give a shit about, the following is the Eagles injury report (the ones that matter anyway).

Brian Westbrook, RB - Sore knee
No Surprise, he has been banged up all season and will obviously play. And most likely torch AP on every possible play. I would say AP should hire Jeff Gillooly to assist him in stopping Westbrook, but AP's (and Jeff's) track record in covering up crimes isn't the best.

Dan Klecko, FB - Shoulder Contusion
This forced Buckhalter play FB last week. If it happens this week it could be a major hitch in their running game going against the Giant's front 4.

Jon Runyan, OT - Knee Sprain
He will play, but will definitely be sore... McNabb better be able to get rid of the ball quickly because Tuck can run circles around a 100% healthy Runyan.

Asante Samuel, CB - Hip Strain (will play)
You can strain a hip?

Andy Reid, Head Coach - Severe Obesity
I think Andy will be able to take the reins, but he may need a Hoveround.