Monday, January 12, 2009

Mets To Play 2009 Season At Javits Center

This is the worst logo I've ever seen.

Could it be less specific? I thought it was for this inauguration... And titling it on it's side in no way compensates for how incredibly bland it is.

Wilpons, please... take notes.

Important things to include in a logo promoting your sports team's first season at a new facility:
  1. Team name
  2. Stadium name
  3. Something distinctive about your team. Which I believe is, um, the whole point of a "logo".
Maybe you could have included that stupid apple that you moved over from Shea. Or, I don't know, ANYTHING? Perhaps a nod to the crippled financial institution that is going to sponsor the joint? Even Mets fans aren't stupid enough to buy a shirt with that logo on it.

Rickey is Headed To Cooperstown

The voting is in and the BBWAA will be sending two players to Cooperstown; Rickey Henderson getting the nod on his first ballot and Jim Rice on his last. Congratulations go out to both players.

Over 25 seasons Henderson complied some pretty ridiculous statistics; 3,055 hits, 2,295, runs scored, 1,406 stolen bases and career a OBP of .401. In 1982 he stole 130 bases, which is right around half the time he was on base. Henderson only had over 100 strikeouts once in his career (I hate strikeouts more than most people). Rickey played four seasons with the Yankees and was roaming center field the first time I visited Yankee Stadium in 1989.

On a side note, Donnie Baseball only received 64 votes or 11.9%, way below the 75% needed. Thanks to back injuries it looks like #23 won’t be making it to Cooperstown any time soon.

I'm Calling BS [Non-Sports]

Apparently this little lady is auctioning off her virginity for $3.7M. I submitted a counter offer earlier today of "a dinner at Planet Sushi and a complimentary cab to the airport" but I haven't heard back.

Miss Dylan, from San Diego, California, USA, said she was persuaded to offer herself to the highest bidder after her sister Avia, 23, paid for her own degree after working as a prostitute for three weeks.

She said she had had a lot of attention from a wide range of men, including "weirdos", "those who get really graphically sexual about what they want to do to me" and "lots of polite requests from rich businessmen".

"Weirdos", huh? You don't say... (gasps) I would guess only the most normal of people would be looking to spend an actual fortune for about a half hour with you just because you claim to have never had sex before!
Miss Dylan said she did not think it was particularly significant to be willing
to sell your virginity and insisted that she was happy to undergo medical tests
for any doubters.
Not "particularly significant"? $2.5 MILLION BRITISH POUNDS IS SIGNIFICANT. You make Indecent Proposal seem like a bargian.

I know there are people out there with a lot more money than I have ($273.43 - it was an expensive weekend), but why on God's green earth would anyone pay that much to have sex with someone one time? I honestly don't believe her.

In light of this story, Fack Youk contributor Big Willie Style is also auctioning off one night of paradise with him. Only sexy ladies need apply. The bidding will start at 10,000 internet dollars.

Pat Bowlen, What Are You Thinking?

I wasn't completely surprised when the Broncos fired Mike Shanahan last week.  The team completely collapsed at the end of the year, and Shanahan hasn't brought forward a Broncos team that was a legitimate Super Bowl threat in 10 years.  A change was definitely justifiable.

I was shocked however when I learned this morning Shanahan's successor would be Patriots offensive coordinator, Josh McDaniels.  So let me get this straight, Pat Bowlen, - you're going to improve on your 8-8 record by giving a guy known ONLY for what he's done when his team has the ball, the reigns of your already #2 ranked offense?  Not to mention the fact that McDaniels is replacing one of the greatest offensive coaches in history?  Meanwhile, you are going to pay no mind to your anemic 29th ranked defense - clearly the problem with your team.   You're also choosing to ignore the fact that other Belichick disciples (Mangini, Romeo, Weis) haven't had great success after they've left the herd?

What the fack are youk thinking?  

You Surprised?

Cause I'm not.

Giants GM Jerry Reese admitted Sunday that the Giants were a different team without Plaxico Burress. He also said that Burress "absolutely" could return to the Giants next season.

Funny how the tune changes, isn't it?

If/When the Giants lost this postseason, no matter how, when or where this was inevitably going to be the one tipping point that every pundit was going to point to. Writing (or reading) anything about how much this affected the Giants is pretty low on my to do list at this point. Probably right about here:

To Do List:

  • #1,908,987,094 - Pop a couple of Percosets and take a toaster bath
  • #1,908,987,095 - Talk about Plaxico Burress

But really quickly... There are other guys on the free agent market this year. You think TJ Houshmazadeh might want to leave Cincinatti? The Giants probably needed a better #1 reviever than Domenik Hixon, but it doesn't have to be Burress. He's a special player, but there is going to be a ridiculous amount of baggage if somehow he avoids going to jail.

It's been real, Plax. Good luck with insane level of paranoia that you have, which led you to believe that carrying a loaded handgun into a nightclub in Manhattan via the fucking elastic band of your sweatpants was even remotely close to a coheret thought. FUCK.