Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Details About Details

Lynn Zinser at the Bats Blog on The New York Times' website talked to the authtor and editor of the story in Details, and really framed the circumstances leading up to "Confessions of a Damned Yankee".

He had agreed to it in late December, when it seemed like a good, mainstream way to raise his fashionable profile. Instead, he sat for the interview on the day he found out Sports Illustrated reporter Selena Roberts would write he had tested positive for steroids in 2003.

He agreed to go through with the interview and photo shoot, despite having just found out that his whole career and reputation might be called into question. You know what that reminds me of? This.

[The author] Gay detailed how Rodriguez drank shots of Patrón and posed without complaint for photos that would set off alarm bells in the minds of many image-conscious athletes.

A-Rod is extremely image conscious. So conscious, in fact, that he apprises himself of how he is looking in a mirror every 14 seconds.

Drank shots of Patrón? Alex, I've got someone I'd love for you to meet. You would be perfect for each other. You are both total headcases, love Patrón, and hate shirts!

[The editor] Bhattacharji said Rodriguez had every opportunity to decline any of the shots, but did not. He did not take his shirt off, but chose a sleeveless one.

I stand corrected. Wow, amazing restraint, A-Rod. "Take my shirt off? Absolutely not. That would probably come across as vain and unnecessary. Kissing myself in the mirror, though? SURE!"

A day later, Rodriguez was text-messaging Gay and nervously asking that he not write that Rodriguez had revealed his favorite Madonna song. He still said nothing about the steroid allegations.

Any guesses... I'm leaning towards "Material Girl" (obviously), but here are some other prime candidates:
  1. Causing A Commotion
  2. Did You Do It?
  3. Express Yourself
  4. Forbidden Love
  5. Goodbye To Innocence
  6. Guilty By Association
  7. I'm Going Bananas
  8. I'm So Stupid
  9. Intervention
  10. Nobody Knows Me
  11. Pretender
  12. Think Of Me
  13. You Must Love Me

No wonder he likes Madonna!

When Details first approached Rodriguez’ representatives and public relations handlers, including Guy Oseary, the manager he shares with Madonna, Rodriguez saw posing for a magazine aimed at fashion-conscious young men as a way to improve his image, said Bhattacharji.

If you made a Venn diagram of "fashion conscious young men" and "baseball fans" it would look almost exactly like the one for "attractive women" and "monster truck fans".

This is exactly why you don't hire some celebretard PR douche when you are an athlete. What works for Ashton Kutcher doesn't necessarily work for A-Rod. Somehow I think no matter what kind of advisory committe he assembles, they won't be able to get him out of his own way.

As Good As It Gets?

In a way, Aaron Boone needing to have heart surgery is sort of karmic justice for the collective cardiac trauma he inflicted on Red Sox Nation on October 16th, 2003:
Boone made the announcement Wednesday, saying he has known about his heart condition since college but tests done after his routine physical determined he needed surgery. It is not an emergency, but doctors indicated the procedure was needed.

He said doctors told him he could play baseball when he recovers, but he's not sure if he will.

Godspeed, Mr. Boone. You made one of the most monumental plays in the history of sport. That swing extended the "curse" one more year and topped off one of the best nights of my life. Your knee injury in a pick-up basketball game opened the door for A-Rod, and even after this offseason, I can't hold it against you.

In 50 years, will we still look at that parabola into the left field seats as the cresendo of the Yankees vs. Red Sox Rivalry?

How could it get more momentous? That homer left the bat of a guy who had been inserted earlier as a pinch runner. It was the 11th inning of a Game 7.

Bucky Dent's dinger was in the 7th inning of a play-in game. When the Red Sox struck back in '04, it was the 2nd inning and the rest of the game felt like a foregone conclusion. For something more dramatic to occur would take a script less realistic than Rookie of the Year.

[h/t Shysterball]

Atlanta, Georgia? Never Heard of It...

This past weekend is one I will likely take with me for the rest of my life. I crossed "Go to the Big East Tournament" off the bucket list - and the tournament did not disappoint. I saw 7 games in 3 days, including a buzzer beater, a half court heave, and a marathon of a game that people will be talking about for a very long time. Aside from the game, I got to stroll around NYC, drink some great beer, hit a plethora of bars, dominate in buck hunter, dominate in darts, and simply spend some quality time with three of my best friends.

All that said - and I'm positive Tim, Kev, and Jay would agree, the real story of the weekend was the time spent with the dynamic duo known as Claire and Maya. From our initial meeting, a sharing of a table at the Carnegie Deli, I knew that these two were unique individuals. Luckily, I had the foresight to record in my Blackberry much of their gospel.


Ladies and Gentlemen, meet Maya and Claire

After recommending the roast beef, we learned Maya and Claire hailed from FSU and UCF respectively. We let them know we were from Boston...
Maya: Oh, Boston? Do you guys know the guy who won Bromance?
(I'm willing to bet maybe 20% of you know what Bromance is, and about .03% know the winner hailed from Medford, MA.)

After inhaling our food, Maya extended her generosity:
Maya: Do you guys like Fridays? I have a free appetizer coupon...
(We'd learn later in the night, that they actually would have dinner at Fridays that evening)

I felt like a bag of dead cats Friday morning, after drinking all day and eating the spoils of MSG. Thus at Carnegie, all I was doing was trying not to laugh out loud, and typing feverishly into my Blackberry. Maya had some words of encouragement:
Maya: As soon as you smell the animals, you're going to feel so much better

We decided that before the night session games on Friday, that we'd tag along with our new acquaintances for the afternoon. They recommended we go to a bar and then to the Central Park Zoo. Next to sleeping with a man, this was something Kevo had been dieing to do, so we accepted. En route to the bar, we passed a Hooters.

Claire: Oh I love hooters, they have the best grilled cheeses. My mom had my baby shower there. It was all you can drink. She didn't, well yeah, she had a little when she was pregnant.
(Claire's southern drawl was beginning to make sense)

At the bar, Kev explained that he was a UCONN fan.
Maya: What's the UCONN mascot, the hornets?
Kev: No, Huskies.
Maya: Is that a bear?
(I believe I then banged on the bar, let out a "Whoo!", and ordered another water)

Shots of SoCo and Lime were ordered before we made our way to the zoo.
Claire: Last time I had SoCo, I drove my car into a lightpost

[Press fast forward on your VCR. Press play. Scene: Amsterdam Ale House, the next day]

After tossing the pigskin around, Maya and Claire joined us for drinks and lunch. At this point, we were quite comfortable with our new friends, and the gloves really came off. Claire gave us a sneak peak into her world.

Claire: I ain't telling ya'll what my number is... all you know is that it's between 10 and 100. But are ya'll talkin' bout my actual number, or the number I remember? Cause if I don't remember that it happened, even if he tells me, he doesn't get added to the official number.

Claire: This one time I didn't know where I was when I woke up, so I rolled the guy next to me over to make sure I knew him, and I was like "Hey that's my neighbor!"

Claire: Why do guys always like to come all over girls? One guy asked if he could come on me and I said "You can come on my face, just don't get it in my hair."

Claire: First time a guy tried that on me (anal), it hurt so bad I thought my eyes were gonna pop out of my head. Fucker snuck up on me too, I didn't expect it at all. I was like, "Buddy, you try that again I'm gonna shove this coat hanger up your ass."

Claire: I saw a black guys dick once, and it was the biggest thing I've ever seen, I wanted to go up and shake the hand of every girl he'd ever slept with and say "Good for you girl".

It was quite the lunch. Before the championship game on Saturday, we went back to Jay's for some drinks. Obviously, Maya and Claire joined. En route to Jay's, we stopped at the liquor store. There was a wine tasting, the sommelier describing some wines from the Finger Lakes and France.
Maya: Wait, so you're French?
Clearly an Italian Guido: No.
Maya: So these aren't your wines?
Clearly an Italian Guido: I never said these were my wines.

The ACC semi-finals were on back at Jay's, I believe Duke / Maryland.
Maya: Where's this game being played?
Kev: Atlanta
Maya: Where's that?
Kev: Georgia
Maya: Never heard of it.

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Claire, Maya - thank you.

CC Sastachia

One hit, one walk and seven strikeouts in 4 IP?

I approve.

Could someone please notify the American Mustache Institute?