Some Friendly Advice

There is never a good time to lose your car keys, but when you are a solid four hour drive from home and quite hungover, misplacing them will make you want to slit your wrists with a broken bottle.

The good news? There are plenty of bottles to choose from.

Characters [EBF Session One]

As you can see, Michael Phelps has really let himself go...

Jim Koch isn't the only one who feels the need to snort his beer.

No, there is no mirror in this photo. The guy on the right is Dan from Maahty's, and the other gentleman was from The Lost Abbey. I'm assuming they share a stylist.

A perfect specimen of the Geekus brewicus. Beard (check), glasses (check), tasting glass (check), intently reading the program (check). I know there are only about 4 people who are going to get this joke but... I didn't know Frank and my sister had a kid together...

A velvet paisley blazer and camo pants. Yeah. Guess what this guy does for a living. I'll give you a hint: He's not in finance. Check out the looks on the Sixpoint guys' faces.

Jeffrey Ross's younger brother in the house. That guy on the right in the Sawx hat is wearing a South African Rugby shirt. Nice choice my friend, I have one as well.

"Roger that, can you grab me a waffle?" (Waffle Cabin is the goods)

Working "security" at this shindig has to be the easiest paying gig available. It wasn't exactly Lollapalooza.

I nominate this guy for Beer Advocate's unofficial mascot.

I didn't actually talk to this guy, but from what I could tell he invented his own dialect which was limited to only four words: "Dude", "Brah", "Chill(in')" and "Brews".

A special thanks to whoever rose this guy from the dead an hour before the event started. That's the kind of extreme beer gut you get from attending too many Extreme Beer Festivals.

So many ways to go with this one. Is visor guy:

1. Saying that the BA Select was overrated and anyone who disagrees with him doesn't know shit about beer
2. Informing the guy in the green that dark skin is a curse from God
3. Explaining how to build your own dwelling and become self-sufficient in the wilderness
4. Miming a beer pong toss
5. Certifiably insane
6. All of the above

Extreme(treme)(reme)(eme) B-B-B-B-Beer Festival! [Session One]

Roughly 1/6th of this weekend was spent busting out the Randy 'Macho Man' Savage voice in reference to Extreme Beer Festival.

Notice the amount of money in my wallet. Coincidentally, it is the exact amount necessary to purchase a walk to the bus stop.

The line.
The line (again).

The venue looked 100x better during the day. For one, they jettisoned the hand-written signs and let the brewers actually put up their own works.


The one bad pour we got. (Is that you in the button-up, Pat Lynch?)

Founders, brewers of the Kentucky Breakfast Stout, pretty much summed it up.

"You only have one tongue... don't f#@# it up drinking junky beer"

Yes.

The dude from the Ithaca station knew about the Rongovian Embassy. Word.

Calling this "macaroni & cheese" is akin to calling Game 7 of the World Series "a baseball game".


The only person at the event with enough courage to represent the Vinny Testaverde era in Tampa Bay:

There are, indeed.


Up next: I'm going to start a wordless blog entitled "Pictures of People Taking Pictures".

You can't see him clearly, but the guy on the left, with the beer mug of a hat, throwing up the peace sign, was one of the true oddities at the show.


At about 4:00, the sun started going down.

Which of course melts craft brewers right in their shoes.

The Citgo sign is a lot cooler when you are in a cab, wasted after a beer festival, than when you are walking out Fenway. (Provided you are a Yankees fan)

There is another Character Collage coming down the pipeline, but it won't be up 'til sometime tomorrow, quite possibly after I get back to the cityadfafkjadnfmdaldfyalsdkjfhasdfal...

/passes out on the keyboard.