Monday, January 12, 2009

I'm Calling BS [Non-Sports]

Apparently this little lady is auctioning off her virginity for $3.7M. I submitted a counter offer earlier today of "a dinner at Planet Sushi and a complimentary cab to the airport" but I haven't heard back.

Miss Dylan, from San Diego, California, USA, said she was persuaded to offer herself to the highest bidder after her sister Avia, 23, paid for her own degree after working as a prostitute for three weeks.

She said she had had a lot of attention from a wide range of men, including "weirdos", "those who get really graphically sexual about what they want to do to me" and "lots of polite requests from rich businessmen".

"Weirdos", huh? You don't say... (gasps) I would guess only the most normal of people would be looking to spend an actual fortune for about a half hour with you just because you claim to have never had sex before!
Miss Dylan said she did not think it was particularly significant to be willing
to sell your virginity and insisted that she was happy to undergo medical tests
for any doubters.
Not "particularly significant"? $2.5 MILLION BRITISH POUNDS IS SIGNIFICANT. You make Indecent Proposal seem like a bargian.

I know there are people out there with a lot more money than I have ($273.43 - it was an expensive weekend), but why on God's green earth would anyone pay that much to have sex with someone one time? I honestly don't believe her.

In light of this story, Fack Youk contributor Big Willie Style is also auctioning off one night of paradise with him. Only sexy ladies need apply. The bidding will start at 10,000 internet dollars.


  1. This would guarantee A-Rod a "hit" during the Playoffs (if the deflowering event would occur during the NFL playoffs)

  2. remember ladies, "Big Willie Style" is just a stupid nickname, and not an endorsement of the product received.

  3. Fack Youk's 98 day streak without a non-funny dick joke just ended.

  4. Another question...

    If she is really getting $3.7M for her virginity, WHY THE FUCK IS SHE STILL GOING TO SCHOOL? That's retirement money.

  5. @ Anon: Somewhere on Long Island right now, two silly skanks beg to differ.

  6. @ Joe: A-Rod thinks she needs to go to the gym more.

  7. What's with the circles under her eyes? She looks like a fucking lemur.

  8. Fack Youk's 98 day streak of having nothing interesting to read continues, however.

  9. @ anon...i suspect your life long streak of banging only 200+ pound women and being a massive jinx on all your favorite sports teams is still going.

  10. That streak could end for only $3.7M! It's not too late...