Breaking News: Mike Francesa Sh_t Himself

If you were listening Mike'd Up, you may have noticed that Mike Francesa took an unexpected break. They went to a commercial, and were about to come back from break when there was a pretty long silence. It was probably over a minute long, and only ended when they started replaying an interview with Jerry Reese that had taken place earlier in the show. When it ended, Rich Ackerman came on and said something to the effect of "Mike is feeling under the weather and has gone home. Maybe a touch of the flu".

I think we all know what that means.

/nods at the title

//looks back at you

///smirks

(h/t Cliff, as I do not listen to WFAN, but will gleefully accuse any of their hosts of shitting their pants)

Only 3?

Tim from MLBTR put together a list of the 45 worst contracts in baseball. There are three Yankees listed:

• Jorge Posada, Four years, $52MM ($13MM per year). Signed November of 2007.
• Hideki Matsui, Four years, $52MM ($13MM per year). Signed November of 2005.
• Kei Igawa, Five years, $46MM ($9.2MM per year). Signed in December of '06, this was a clear and poorly thought-out response to Boston's Daisuke Matsuzaka signing.

Should A-Rod be on there? If you are talking about deals the teams wish they could tear up, light on fire, and shoot the ashes into outer space, don't you think that would be right up there? Would any team want to take it off the Yankees hands for free? Name one.

In light of what has happened, he'd be looking at some paltry offers on the open market nowhere near what the Yankees paid him and those milestone incentives look pret-tay, pret-tay, pret-tay bad. The PED use makes you doubt the validity of his past performance to some extent too. Wait until the Selena Roberts' book comes out and see what else she has to say. She has already indicated that there will be information on his "non-steroid" drug use. It could get worse.

Posada's deal is already bad because in what was likely to be his most productive year of the four, the Yanks didn't get much out of him. Parts of 51 games and a 103 OPS+. His production (while on the field) was not terrible considering he's a catcher, but that doesn't account for the slacking defense caused by his shoulder injury. The Yankees can't afford to have too many games with Kevin Cash and Jose Molina behind the dish this year if they expect to return to glory.

It didn't seem like it to me, but Hideki Matsui has only played an average of 96 games over the past three years. When he has appeared, he's been above league average, but for a corner outfielder that's not all that remarkable. Still, I think a team would take Matsui's contract over A-Rod's in a heartbeat.

If Kei Igawa's contract was a method of birth control, it would be a coat hanger abortion. No objections there.

After shedding Jason Giambi and Carl Pavano contracts, the Yanks are heading in the right direction. The 00's will be remembered for the Yanks' exorbitant spending and in some cases, minimal returns, unless they go out with a bang this year. No pressure guys.

So Much For All Of That, Huh?

Former Cincinnatti Bengals wide reciever and object of Fack Youk's affection, T.J. Houshmandzadeh, has not signed with the Giants as we had hoped.

In what turned out to be a tougher decision than expected, wide receiver T.J. Houshmandzadeh chose the Seattle Seahawks over the Minnesota Vikings and the Cincinnati Bengals on Monday afternoon.

Sources told ESPN's Michael Smith the deal was worth more than $40 million for five years, with more than $15 million guaranteed.

"I just felt it was the best destination, it was the best team, it was the best choice for me," Houshmandzadeh told ESPN.

Housh indicated that he'd like to play for the Giants, but after signing Chris Canty, Brandon Jacobs, Corey Webster and Rocky Bernard to relatively large deals, they just didn't have the cap space to add a contract like the one he got from the Seahawks.

With this, it seems like the search for a reciever, which is probably the one weak spot remaining for the G-Men, turns to the draft. They have the 29th pick overall and it looks like there will be some solid talent available in that slot (Percy Harvin?). If not, they have the Saints' 2nd and 5th round picks from the Shockey deal that could be used to trade up and snag someone like Jeremy Maclin whose stock has probably fallen slightly after his injury at the combine.

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Could be a little slow today. I'm going to be really busy with work and I'm a little behind elsewhere too...

Blown Away

First via the National Football Post and with more details from Ralph Vacchiano, Derrick Ward (Wind of the Giants trio "Earth, Wind and Fire") has a new home.

It comes as no surprise, of course, since the Giants were prepared to let Ward (nickname: Wind) leave as a free agent, unless he was willing to come back and play for a deeply discounted price. Instead, he found a windfall on the market, agreeing to a four-year, $17 million contract, according to several reports.

That deal reportedly includes $6 million guaranteed, and he’ll supposedly make $9.25 million over the first two years and $13 million over the first three. The entire package is worth an average of $4.25 million annually, which is more than many people thought he was going to make.

They still have Cadillac Williams and just last year the Bucs signed Earnest Graham to a four year $11.05M contract, so it looks like Ward won't have to do all the heavy lifting in Tampa either.

Graham is actually pretty similar to Ward. They are both 29 and bloomed late in their careers. Ward broke his leg and was placed on IR before game 9 of the 2007 season, while Graham was shelved in week 11 last year because of an ankle issue. The Giants plucked Ward off the Jets' practice squad while the Bucs got Graham off the Rams'. There was a really good article on Graham from a while back in ESPN The Magazine, if you have the time.

Ward's bread and butter on the Giants was catching screen passes and dump offs effortlessly and stretching them into more yards that you thought he should. He's not incredibly fast, but agile enough to work his way through congested areas. He had over 1,409 yards from scrimmage last year as part of Earth, Wind and Fire. That's pretty impressive and was a lot of fun to watch.

We knew Ward was leaving when he switched agents, and it does appear that (according to RV) that Drouche got Ward more money than most had anticipated. Still up for kneeing him in the balls for me anyway?

Good luck, Derrick. You seem like an all around good dude and that overtime game against Carolina in Week 16 where you ended up with 266 yards from scrimmage and owned the extra quarter, will live on in Giants lore.

One More

Doris Sighting!!!!!!!

Yup. That's her. Swear on my life. I obviously couldn't get a pic of her face because that would put me in her peripheral vision and that was a confrontation I was not at all interested in. That, and also I drew the line (for once). If I'm not going to put my face on this blog, I really shouldn't put hers, I don't think.

I really didn't know how this day could get any better. There are some things in the works that I don't want to mention for non-jinxing purposes, and the snow, and the shrimp fritters, and my new headphones...

I actually went back to Whole Foods to pick up some more those fritters, along with a sirloin for the grill tonight. I asked the guy at the meat counter for a steak that was about a pound and three quarters. He put it on the scale: 1.75lbs. Bang. I mean, who cares? But that was pretty cool.

That beer is the Dogfish Head Olde School Barleywine. It's 15% ABV.

I needed to stop by Pioneer on my way back to grab some more brews and walking in, I spotted the mythical beast known to you Fackers only as "Doris". I very nearly soiled myself.

I didn't observe her eating habits like Sampson did, but this is kind of similar as she was in hunter/gatherer mode. It's not everyday she leaves the apartment. Actually, this may have been the first time in 46 years.

We left Pioneer at about the same time, and I skittered back over the icy sidewalks, hid out in my entrance way and nabbed this shot.

Look familiar? It's blurry and everything, just like the original! There was a girl right there walking her dog who saw me do it and gave me this look. I shrugged my shoulders and went "It's a long story..." and scampered upstairs to write this post.

This was one of the best snow days ever.

Sean Daley from Atmosphere, would you do the honors?



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We should be back in sports mode tomorrow. Hopefully you enjoy the non-sports stuff too, because it's really fun to write. I don't really know where to even send these links, but if you read other blogs with similar content like Schiff's, feel free to point me in their direction or vice versa.

Finally [Part II]

I had this thought walking around this morning, but it didn't make it into the previous two posts.

Maybe the reason I like seeing the Manhattan covered in snow so much is that it gives you the chance to catch The City That Never Sleeps quietly nodding off.

The snow cover dulls the sounds that typically reflect off hard surfaces like streets and branches and buildings, so it's literally quieter. Parking is suspended and lots of people from surrounding areas don't come into work. I still walked here, but I can tell by the amount of pedestrain traffic on Central Park West that most people opt for the subway. Today, the infamous line at Whole Foods in the Time Warner Center was non-existent.

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Completely random food-realted aside: This is too good not to mention. At Whole Foods today, they have Creole Shrimp Fritters for $7.99 a lb. I got 5 for $2.88. If you are in the area, get 'em while they're hot, because if you ordered them in a restaurant, they'd cost $10 at least.

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The only wall hangings at the Lenny's location around the corner from our apartment (shown in the top picture) are pictures of NYC in the snow. I'm not sure if all their spots are similarly decorated, but it's really cool.

I wasn't down here for the 26.9" dumping in 2006, but I have been assured by Sampson and others that it was epic. Not everyone likes the snow as much as I do, and part of the allure for me was having to wait so damn long to really see it. I'm still holding out hope for one more shut-down-the-city style storm before I'm done with this place.

Damn, I'm going to miss you when that time comes, NYC.

Finally

[You can find Part II here]

This is the third winter I've been down in NYC and this is the first real snow storm I've had the pleasure of bearing witness to. Basically every time they've predicted any significant amount of snow, it turned into a wintry mix or missed us completely. I hate wintry mixes. I hate them so much that I think I also hate Christmas music compilations and the rapper Snow by association.

Although the possibility of getting a snow day has long since passed, I still get incredibly excited when we get a healthy ground cover. Far too often growing up, I would watch the weather before I went to bed, and hear Bob Kovachic talk about the slam dunk storm headed our way, only to wake up at 5AM so excited I couldn't sleep, look out, see nothing and cry myself back to sleep. It was soul crushing.

On the other hand, when we did get hit, Sampson and I would suit up and take to the streets. And by "the streets", I mean the 50 acres of common land shared by the residents of Riverview Landing, which borders on the Mohawk River. It is serenely beautiful even when it's not covered in 10 inches of snow. There are cliffs and waterfalls, a run-down pavilion, and paths connecting everything. It's basically fucking paradise to two kids with a couple of stolen cigarettes and a water bottle filled with about two fingers worth of six kinds of liquor (so we wouldn't take too much from one bottle).

Despite the fact that I don't have any boots or snow pants, today, I got up early and took a bunch of pictures in the park. Why? Because you only live once, Fackers.

I'd guess we got about 5 or 6 inches. It was windy, so the accumulation doesn't show up as much as you'd like it to, and my camera kind of sucks, but I still think they came out really well.

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I had to make these smaller because it would have taken me 9 years to upload them all. If you would like a full size one to use for a desktop background or something, email me. If your request meets my politeness requirements, I will send you a picture or two.

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On the way to the park. 75th street, I believe.

This dog was the only life form in Central Park more excited than I was.

The Dakota (and the tip of my glove)
Oops.

Strawberry Fields

You won't believe this, but I had a nice conversation with a girl who was walking her dog, standing right over the spot pictured below. Imagine that. For once, I didn't even throw up like Stan from South Park talking to Wendy Testaburger. If you are out there, you divine being, please identify yourself in the comments as "The Uncontrollably Hot Woman From The Park With The British(?) Accent". Your move.

Daniel Webster was feeling it.

Kind of cool with the statue in the background, no?

My camera doesn't do well with capturing colors, so you really had to be there for this one.

It's not Spring yet, brah.

In The Ramble. Same exact spot as the picture on that link, I believe.

View of the Buildings on Central Park South from the North end of the Pond.

Calling any part of Central Park "Forever Wild" is pretty laughable since it's all man-made and adjacent to one of the most densely populated places on planet Earth.

I have a bit of a San Remo fetish. You can see it from our terrace and almighty Jesus, it makes for some beautiful pictures. The one on the top of this post is of it too.

Looking down Central Park West.

Risked my life for this one. You're welcome.

Columbus Circle.

You know it's the real deal when they've got news crews out.

The snow almost makes our building not look like the shitshow it currently is due to the makeover. Apparently re-surfacing the building gives them the right to change the address. 3 Columbus Circle? We are a block away from the circle. It's 1775 Broadway, assholes. In light of this, I've decided to change our address to 2347 Central Park West.

Oh, you came to this blog to read about sports? Sorry. Maybe next time.

Snow Day

Not really, because I'm at work. Living within walking distance of your office has its downsides as well. You can't really use the subways as an excuse to show up late.

But it did "snow" and it is a "day", so I'm going with it. I'm working on a post with a bunch more pictures that I took in the park this morning, so check back later for that.

Ralph the Terrace Bear (next to the grill) assures you it will be good.

Guitar Solo Sunday

Anyone up for a new recurring feature?

Here are the rules:

1. No other instruments (for now)
2. No singing
3. Under 5 minutes
4. Take a picture of the scene of the crime
5. Make a simple YouTube of it
   
6. Make your mother proud

I have left the initial offering to the Guitar Gods below.

It was actually tuned up to 450Hz, which is where Clapton plays almost all of his Derek and the Dominoes stuff, which is why it sounds a little more bright than usual. See if you can spot the 60's song melody line that drops a little ways in.

I captured it on the terrible sound recorder program that comes on my computer, which is why there is a crackling in the background. When I figure out how to use the reel to reel recorder that was sitting in our lobby on Friday night (pictured above) with a note that said "Needs a home (barely used)", that will change.

Since it's usually just my PRS and me, it feels kind of cool to throw this up in this space knowing at least a few of you might enjoy it. But it would be awesome if I never did this again, and instead had readers/friends chip them in. Anyone out there with a black Custom Shop Les Paul and a PA system in his basement where we have played over 1,000 games (conservatively) of beer pong who would like to expose me for the marginal guitarist that I am? After that, we could duel Clapton vs. Harrison style. Poolroom jam next time I'm upstate with the R2R? I can think of another Yankee blogger with a vintage telecaster who may or may not like to weigh in.

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There is a strange combination of anonymity and exhibitionism about blogging. There are only a handful of people of people in this world who have ever heard me play the guitar. I could probably name every single one. But at the same time, I feel compelled to post it on this blog where people I have never laid eyes on are probably going to think it sucks, just for the fuck of it.

I apologize for the bait and switch aspect of putting this up on what appears to be a sports blog, but I'm guessing some of you like music. After all, Donald Trump thinks it is the most popular thing in the world.

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Anyway, here it is. It kind of dies in the middle, but picks back up at the end. Somehow it turned out to be 4:20 long. Go figure...

I'll call this "Christmas Cactus" after the plant my grandma gave me sitting on top of my dresser.

Money Makers Portal

Comment on this post:

Hi! You have interesting blog.

Why, thank you!

May I give You [sic] and [sic] advice?

Well, I just put up a post telling you to call your grandmother. Did you take my advice? She probably would have appreciated it. I don't think you did, but that's okay. Take me down the path to enlightenment.

To start building your online business you must know these 6 Secrets to Build [sic] Your Successfull [sic] Business.

Secret #1: Edit your material.

I'm going to save the [sic]ing from here forward, because it would take me an extra two hours to point it all out and it would make it even more vague and un-understandable.

These secrets are known long time ago but the real secret is to implement them step by step and to teach your business partners to do the same.

You just blew my mind.

If You will neglect some of this secrets youк business...

I know it's just a little deformed "K", but what a fucking awesome typo/computer glitch. Youk business? I'm in the fucking Youk business!

Let's try this again:

If You will neglect some of this secrets youк business will never grow and make your real money, but you will just wasting your time trying to invent a bicycle and getting more and more frustrated and asking yourself a question: "Why it's happening to me while others are succeeding?"

Comment by Monkey Makers Portal, Translation by Babel Fish.

Invent a bicycle? You mean "reinvent the wheel"?

Any why the capital Y in "You" and not "Your"?

My advice to you to write down to your diary these 6 secrets and use them every day and I can promise you - results will be great!

Who has an actual diary? I'm not Virginia Woolf, asshole.

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It gets better.

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I was the 32nd person to click through to the the Blogger profile attached to "Money Maker's Portal".

Vitaliy Syromyatnikov

About Me

My name is Vitaliy Syromyatnikov. I am 32 years old married guy from Krivoy Rog Ukraine. May I ask You a few questions? - "Can you tell me why youre looking to earn extra money from a part time business?" - "How would your life change if you had an extra $1,000 coming in each month?" - "Tell me a little about your last experience with a home business or will this be your first time?" - "How would an extra $1,000 per month help improve your lifestyle?" And 1 more... "Why should I show you how to earn an extra $1,000 per month?"

Now read that aloud to yourself in the Borat voice.

Interesting formatting choice, Vitaliy. Quoting yourself: Possibly unprecedented and certainly unnecessary.

Favorite Movies

• The Secret

9,500 Blogger users can't be wrong!

Favorite Books

• Jim Rohn

A collage of other people who enjoy "Jim Rohn" book(s?):

The guy on the top right goes by Breezy.

-----

Aaaaand I just got an email from him:

Greetings from Ukraine!

What if I told You about 3 simple steps how to make your own blog earn You good money not only from Adsense advertising or affiliate marketing, but from your own domain name,
would You be interested?
http://gdi.moneymakersportal.com/content/how-create-blog-your-gdi-ws-domain

Vitaliy
http://twitter.com/
Follow me on Twitter
SKYPE:vitaliy.syromyatnikov

Please follow him on Twitter for me. I would consider it a personal favor. We already are. Who else is going to give you these kinds of opportunities?

I am using Reality Transsurfing rule. And U may stay in your "matrix", or It's up 2 U! If U want to know more about it - DM me.

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/emerges from rabbit hole

Please Call Home [Allman Brothers]

Call your Grandmother.

She'll appreciate it. I talked to mine for 45 minutes this morning.

Requiem For A Restaurant

The absolute best part of living in Manhattan is the preponderance of awesome things within walking distance from your apartment. I have accounts with two different banks, both of whom have a location within two blocks from my place. We have two grocery stores within the same distance. I can walk to work in just about the time it takes to listen to Shine On You Crazy Diamond Parts I & II, and Central Park is under 5 minutes away. I've mentioned the Beacon and Fairway, both of which I wouldn't swap for another theater/grocery store.

Another thing that makes the location of our apartment so perfect is (was) Westside Brewing Co. When we first moved down here, we used to go there every Sunday night in addition to the impromptu visits during the week. If I had anyone came into town, it was the first place I thought to bring them.

I would place their wings in my top five of all time, with some serious consideration for the #1 spot. I'm probably biased, but trust me, these were not your ordinary orangey, fake-looking, limp dick wings you get at TGIFriday's. The sauce wasn't sweet like a BBQ and didn't really have a buffalo twang. They never detailed any of the ingredients on the menu, and I'm not much of a gourmand, so if you've never had the pleasure, you are going to have to use your imagination a little bit. They were a deep maroon color, subtly smoky, hot, but not lingering, and... did I mention they were fucking amazing?

Westside stopped brewing their own beer long before I moved down to the city, but they kept a rotating selection of ten taps to make up for that fact. They centered on local brews like Captain Lawrence, Chelsea and Blue Point, but also drew from across and the country and world. Last time I was there, they had Green Flash Le Freak on tap and around Easter-time last year they had an incredible Rauchbier (smoked beer) from Germany.

The had a pretty fervent staff turnover, but managed to keep a cute girl hostessing with remarkable consistency. One time Sampson and I walked in, and were making some offhand comment about work, and the cutest of the hostesses smiles and says "Are you guys in the movie industry?" Sampson immediately goes "Yeah, I'm a director and he is a producer". Her eyes light right up, so we had to let her down gently. She's was like, "Oh, it seems like everyone is in the movie business around here". After we sat down, I went to Sampson, "They aren't really in the movie business sweetie, they just want to have sex with you".

The place wasn't without it's faults. For one, it was closed for strange reasons way too often. Too many times someone came into town and wanted a fairly cheap, relaxed meal, I couldn't wait to take them to WSBC. I would hype up the wings and promise I could pick them out a great beer, only to roll up to the place and see a note scrawled on the door explaining some strange circumstance which precluding them from being open.

About a year and a half ago construction began on The Harrison, which took up most of the block between 76th and 77th & Amsterdam and Broadway. It was well boarded off, but through the slats, you could catch a glimpse of the cavernous void that claimed Amsterdam Billiards.

One night I walked in to the bathroom and in the corner underneath the urinal there was a gigantic hole, looking right down into a 25 foot deep rubble-filled pit. That must have violated the health code, because two nights later they embarked a a little hiatus for a month or two.

In the three years we've been going there, they never changed their menu. It's not like it diverted us from stopping by, but as a place that had a pretty large regular customer base, you'd think they'd have wanted to switch it up a little bit.

It is also extremely close to The Beacon and it gets a lot of spillover, which can be annoying if you want to get a seat at the bar. They occasionally even play the music of the act that is on that night. One night Kelly Clarkston was in town and we got sat down right next to a table full of pre-teen girls who knew the words to every single song, and weren't afraid to sing along at full roar.

Sometime last year, our friend Ian was around and we popped into Westside to grab some food. We got the wings (as always) I ordered a Hawaiian pizza, Sampson got a burger and Ian got the tuna melt. The pizza always takes longer to begin with, but at one point I glanced over my shoulder and happen to spot the our waitress and my pizza in mid-air headed towards an inevitable demise.

She didn't think we saw it happen and about two minutes later, after the mess had been cleaned up, she came over and said "Sorry guys, your food will be up in like 5 minutes. Want another beer?" We didn't feel like correcting her just yet, and let it slide.

She eventually brought us over the food and as she's sliding the pizza in front of me, I go, "Round two on this one, huh?" She stopped for a second and goes, "Yeah, I was kinda hoping you guys didn't see that". She was cute and we laughed it off. When Ian got terrible food poisoning an hour later, he wasn't laughing. There's not way of telling, but I'm pretty sure the 20 minutes that tuna melt spent under the lamps didn't help. That didn't stop us from going back either.

The allure was obviously the beers, for me personally. It was always crowded, so I don't think I'm alone in that respect. They absolutely always had a high quality Double IPA on tap, whose hoppy character was an unlikely match for the wings. Ten beers every week allows for some pretty serious breadth and they did a pretty good job of managing the selection.

I really don't go out to dinner than much because we have a grill and SeamlessWeb (and I have no money), so I'm probably the last person who is going to get sentimental about an eatery closing it's doors. Evelyn Lounge... now that was a tragedy. But wow, this sucks a fucking lot. I was moving my car the other night, saw the papered up windows and went out of my typical loop so I could email Sampson a picture with the caption "RIP Westside Brew Co." from my iPhone.

It's not all doom and gloom though. I was trawling the message boards over at Beer Advocate and found this little gem:

I have an infallible source telling me this place will be re-opened under new management in a few weeks. And by new management, I mean guys who know how to run an outstanding beer bar. UWSers should be psyched. More to follow.

It's a message board, so I'm not going to get my hopes up, but please, please, please almighty Beer Gods, get something in there soon. It's not fair. I'm dying inside.


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I just went out to take the daytime pictures above and as I was standing there, a guy with one of those chest baby pouch/carriers and his wife walk up. The dude was probably in his 30's and with a forlorn look on his face he said "It's like, closed, man."