Recycling A Thirty-Six Year Old Bad Idea

Except this one somehow worked out...

Something referred to as "Brett Tomko" allegedly threw a complete game, 5 hit shutout last night. Against the Rangers. In Texas, knocking the Rangers 4.5 behind the Red Sox in the Wild Card. Multiple sources have confirmed this outlandish tale, however I remain skeptical and will be reviewing the game via MLB.tv shortly for anything suspicious.

Since picked up by the A's, The Artist has gone 4-1 with a 2.95 ERA in 6 starts with only one poor outing, striking out 22 while walking 6. I guess he had a right to be all bitchy about not being "given a fair shot".

It was his 100th career win, which might be somewhat impressive if he didn't have 102 losses.

Just to review, Tomko gave up 12 earned runs in 20.2 innings (5.23 ERA) with the Yankees, mostly in relief, which is theoretically easier than starting and had a tiny BABIP of .230. But since moving to Oakland and pitching solely in the rotation, 36 year old Brett Tomko, owner of a 92 career ERA+ has also given up 12 runs, but in 36.2 IP for an ERA two and a quarter runs lower. He's won 4 games for a team that has gone 13-13 over that time. Damn you Billy Beane!

If I was John Sterling, I'd say "I'll tell you what, that's why you just can't predict baseball!!11!" but instead I'll just pose the rhetorical question, "What the fuck?".

Factual Inaccuracy Of The Day

At the risk of BaDH, here's one loose end from last night's infamous bunt that I didn't tie up earlier. From the Post (emphasis mine):

"We're trying to get the tying run to third base," Girardi said. "Nick's been a good bunter for us all year and unfortunately he popped it up tonight."

Really, Joe? Has he? Because he's hardly been a bunter at all during the rest of his career.

Including last night's botched attempt, Swisher has been asked to sacrifice bunt 4 times 471 plate appearances this year. In the other 2512 PAs in his career, he has completed 4 successfully. For some odd reason Joe Girardi has asked Swish to bunt at over 5 times the frequency of his previous managers. Perhaps his Ken Macha, Bob Geren and Ozzie Guillen were a little more realistic about his ability to get one down.

The only players who have been asked to bunt as much or more than Swisher this season are Francisco Cervelli, Melky Cabrera and Brett Gardner, all of who have an OPS of roughly 100 points lower or more than Swish.

Using his averages from this year (which are very close to his career norms), there was a roughly 20-25% chance he could have won or tied the game with a hit and a 37% chance he could have at least moved the runner to third without using an out. Sure, there was a strong chance he left the Yanks in the same situation they found themselves in after he popped it up to Michael Young, but at least there was some upside to letting him swing. He might have advanced the runners anyway. If Jose Molina or Frankie Cervelli or Brett Gardner was up, it would have been a close decision. But not with a guy with 21 HRs and a .368 OBP is at the plate.

Joe Girardi just wanted to exert his influence and try to alter the outcome of the game like he so often does without a very good reason. Unfortunately for the team and it's fans, it backfired once again.

A Letter To Joe Girardi

Dear Mr. Girardi,

Last night was very nearly incredibly awesome. A 5 run comeback in the 9th inning would have been a monumental achievement and the best comeback victory in a season with 40 of them already. It would have returned the favor to the Rangers, who got quite lucky to string together a 5 run rally without making an out themselves in the 4th inning (which it might surprise you to learn, didn't include a bunt attempt). But last night was not awesome. It was incredibly frustrating.

You see, Joe, last night my roommates and I decided to take the plunge and buy a new TV. Big Willie Style's 32" had been holding down the mantle in the interim and it was time to get serious about our new place.

After a long day, we drove to Boscov's at around 8:30 and then to Sears, intent on acquiring one before the stores closed at 9:30. We very nearly bought this 42" LG for $700, but they didn't have it in stock. After a serious amount of deliberating, we decided to go with this 46" Samsung which was priced at $1200 on the shelf but after the 10% discount I got for opening a Sears card (which I'm literally never going to use after this purchase) it was $1166 after taxes. No interest or payments for 6 months to boot. Not bad. Am I right, Joe? Or perhaps you might have gone with the 24 months of free financing, since that's what "the book" on buying TVs says.

After we got the TV loaded in the van, it was about 9:50 and we turned on the game just in time to John and Suzyn called Michael Young's two run homer in the 7th inning. Great. On the way home we listened to the radio duo swoon over Neftali Feliz and compare him to Joba as he touched 100 on the radar gun (101 according to pitch f/x). We arrived back at the apartment and set up the new toy just in time for the top of the ninth.

We cracked a few Dogfish Head Immort Ales to celebrate and watched as Damaso Marte work a pretty solid inning in amazing 1080i resolution. Predictably, we marveled at the new awesomeness of our new TV, which fit on top of our mantle like the stand had been custom made for it.

Then the 9th inning came, Joe. Remember it? After the Yankees sent six straight runners to the plate without making an out, you decided to give one away by asking a guy who is terrible a bunting to do something, which even if he was successful at, would have hurt the team's chances at winning. The run expectation actually declines when you go from men on first and second with no outs to runners on second and with one down. Take a look.

Furthermore, Frank Francisco had already walked A-Rod and thrown fewer than half of his pitches for strikes. You took away Nick Swisher's excellent ability to work a walk by having him bunt in that spot. Did you see Francisco's first pitch? It was at fucking eye level. How do not make that guy throw strikes?

You asked a guy to bunt who can't bunt to set the table for a guy who is worse than 50% at getting the runner in from third with less than 2 outs. It's a stupid move in principle and it was even dumber under these circumstances.

And when it failed completely, you stormed around in the dugout like a fucking 4 year old because your fucking boneheaded decision didn't work out.

In all fairness, I stormed around my apartment at the same time, but I was acting like at least an 8 year old.

So thanks, Joe. It could have been one of the best TV Christenings in the history of mankind. But as soon as you started meddling and overmanaging, the whole thing went to shit.

Yes, right THERE. In the highest possible leverage situation.

I'm not blaming Melky Cabrera for lining into a double play, Joe. The entire situation would have been different if you let Nick Swisher take a full swing at the ball instead of conceding a precious out to a guy who could hardly throw a strike.

This is your fault.

Fuck you,

Fack Youk

A Lesson in Overmanagement

Jay and I were both fairly busy last night, hence the lack of our usual in depth recap. I hit the road just as the first pitch was thrown and was driving for 2 hours of the 2 hour and 34 minute game. I tried to listen on the radio, but I just couldn't stomach a second straight day of Sterling and Waldman. I made it as far as the Teixeira home run, and was left with no choice but to bail out after Sterling launched into his absurd and self-serving "It's a Teix message. Oh you're on the mark, Teixeira!" call. Besides, I had some catching up to do with Jam_On on XM after it had been replaced by DMB radio for all of last week.

I did turn the game back on in the seventh, just in time to hear Hughes retire the side in order and in impressive fashion and then arrived at my New Jersey destination just in time to see that the Yankees Overmanager decided to remove him for eighth. Let's do a quick recap bullet point style:

• The HRs continue to fly out of the park: Teix, Swish, Damon and Jeter for the Yanks, Kapler for the Rays, running the total to 105 through 29 games. By contrast, last year there were 160 in 81 Yankee Stadium games. Yes it's still early, but it's getting later by the day. This trend has yet to show any signs of slowing down.


• Pettitte turned in what is becoming a characteristic performance for him. As Girardi like to say, he bent but didn't break. We don't know if his back has anything to do with it; there was a trainer's visit to the mound in the third. It could be though, that this is what we're going to see from Andy Pettitte at this point in his career - which isn't the worst thing in the world. He still eats up innings and generally gives them a chance to win. It isn't pretty, but he seems to do enough to get by. That's not the worst thing in the world from a back-end starter.


• Hughes was impressive: a perfect inning on 11 pitches, 7 of them strikes. Facing the top of the order, he induced two groundball outs then blew away Mrs. Tony Parker on a 94 MPH fastball.


• Inexplicably, Hughes did not return for the eighth. I'm furious about this. He's a soon-to-be 23 year-old starter who needs innings. As I've stated previously, I'm not opposed to him being in the pen, but he needs to be used. Otherwise he's going to lose arm strength and be at risk for yet another injury when they actually choose to use him again. I'd rather have him start in Scranton if he's just going to rot in the pen. It's June 9th; Hughes has thrown exactly 11 pitches this month.
• I understand that the dangerous Carlos Pena was leading off the eighth in a one run game. I understand that Joe Girardi has a man crush on Phil Coke. I think Coke is a pretty decent pitcher. But I would have left Hughes in.


• The only possible explanation I can think of is that they wanted to save Hughes in case they needed to piggy-back him on Wang Wednesday. But if you keep saving your bullets, eventually you're left with a loaded gun and a bunch of bullet holes in your chest. If the level of confidence in Wang is that low, it's only further evidence as to how badly his return was botched. And, I think Girardi has show that in the event a starter exits early, Aceves is his pitcher of choice.


• Perhaps more curious than Hughes not getting the ball in the 8th was Mo getting the ball in the 9th for the third straight day. Now I didn't have a problem with Mo coming in Saturday, until it was revealed that he was sick. He had a very efficient ninth on Sunday (1-2-3, 10 pitches, 8 strikes) and was nearly as efficient yesterday: 1-2-3, 11 pitches, 7 strikes. I guess that puts to rest the rumors of his demise. Again. However, he's now thrown 42 pitches over three straight days and will likely not be available for tonight's opener in Boston. Great job Joe.

What's Worse?

Your boss seeing that you are watching March Madness at your desk or catching you making a spreadsheet of "NCAA TOURNAMENT: SINGLE-GAME INDIVIDUAL RECORDS"?


Thanks Comcast! Now my boss will never know how worthless I am to the company!

Damn advertising. It ruins everything. Good thing I'm quick on the trigger (minimize button).

Kellerman! Simmons! Francesa!

Neil Best of Newsday has been on top of the Kellerman story since it broke (err, I tipped him off about it and was not attributed)

And yesterday afternoon he transcribed a portion of the B.S. Report (at the 45:09 mark) where Simmons addressed the story about Kellerman and the rumors concerning Francesa. (I'm just going to blockquote the whole thing):

Bill Simmons: "Max Kellerman left his ESPN Radio New York show today. Uh, I'm throwing our hat in the ring. Our collective hat."

(Simmons' friend) JackO: "Fantastic. He left it? Why, he just gave it up?"

Simmons: "I don't know. Details have not come out."

JackO: "There was some ugliness?"

Simmons: "Who knows? I had a reader email a month ago and say he was at a restaurant where Max and Mike Francesa were having dinner together."

JackO: "Really? Uh, oh. The new Mad Dog, do you think?"

Simmons: "Mike and the Max Dog?"

JackO: "Mike and Max. It works."

Simmons: "Mike and Max?"

JackO: "Got the alliteration down."

Simmons (with a Francesa accent): "We'll be back, 'Mike and Max,' after this. 'Mike and The Max,' maybe?"

JackO: "Yeah, but that's his first name, he can't become The Max."

Simmons: "Let's say, hypothetically, Francesa and Kellerman, does that show work, or not?"

JackO: "You know, I've only seen Max Kellerman on TV. I've never listened to his radio show, so I don't know what he's like. It might be a case of too many lead dogs trying to be there, you know."

Simmons: "It's like a Kobe-Shaq."

JackO: "I'm not sure how it would work. One guy's got to be the second banana and know his role."

Simmons: "2003 Kobe and Shaq, not 2000 Kobe and Shaq. It would be interesting. I could see the show being great for like three months and them like fighting to the death."

JackO: "If you've already been the star of your own show it's tough to go back now and be the supporting actor."

Simmons (with a Francesa accent): "Hey, Max, let me tell you something, you're in the big time now. This is my show. You are a second banana, my friend."

JackO (with a Francesa accent): "You know, you don't bring a knife to a gunfight."

Simmons (with a Francesa accent): "I'm Jordan, you're Pippen, got it?"

Simmons: "But that would be interesting. Keep an eye on that."

The restaurant story is pretty interesting, but I would be curious to know if it came before or after Kellerman was notified that his air time was being cut back.

A Kellerman/Simmons show would be phenomenal, but obviously that's not going to happen because Kellerman can't go back to ESPN and Simmons can't leave. Even though I imagine he was kidding, I'd probably listen to a Simmons/JackO show. I give it a try at the very least. Too bad it would never happen because 1050 would never bring in such a personality so closely associated with Boston into the New York market, even if Simmons had JackO to balance him out.