Catching Up With The G-Men

In their final game of the 2008 season, the Yankees fell to the Red Sox 4-3 in 10 innings at Fenway Park. It was the only time in the previous 14 years that combination of events wouldn't have meant a heartbreaking loss in Game 7 of the ALCS, but since only one of those teams was going to the postseason, it didn't much matter how the game ended.

Earlier that day, Mike Mussina had won his 20th game of the season for the first time in his career so in the later game, Joe Girardi gave most of his regulars the day off. Sindey Ponson was the starting pitcher and the line up featured Cody Ransom, Wilson Betemit, Juan Miranda and eventually, Chad Moeller. The Yanks had played their last "meaningful" game of the year a week earlier, when they closed down the Old Stadium against the Orioles.

At that point, the Giants had begun their Super Bowl Title defense 3-0 and were sitting through a very early bye week. The fact that the G-Men had just pulled off a miraculous championship run and started off the new 2008/9 season on the right foot, it was easy to move past the forgettable campaign the Yankees just completed. Plus, it was apparent since the middle of August that a postseason berth was unlikely for the Yanks, so the process of detachment had begun long before October began.

While the Giants actually started off with a better record this year than last (5-0 to 4-0), it was apparent that the 2009 version wasn't as balanced as the previous year's.

Just as the Yankees were heading out to Anaheim for Game 3 of the ALCS, the Giants took their perfect record into the Superdome and watched Drew Brees and the Saints walk (or more appropriately, pass) all over it.

As the Yanks continued the march to the World Series, the Giants dropped two more games; a tough one to the Cardinals that took place at the same time at Game 6 of the ALCS and a blowout at the hands of the Eagles.

Although Big Blue is still in relatively good position to make the playoffsat 5-3, it's apparent that they are not the offensive force they were last year. Much of their success in 2008 revolved around their seemingly unstoppable rushing attack which netted them an average of 157 yards per game (5.0 yards per carry) last year.

The rushing attack has slowed to 141 YPG (4.4/attempt). Much od this can be tied to Brandon Jacobs', who had seen more carries per game, but gained fewer yards 83 to 68. His average per carry has dropped a full yard and looks to be lacking the explosiveness he had last year. Ahmad Bradshaw has kept the running attack afloat by averaging 5.3 yards/attempt and picking up and gaining nearly as many yards as Jacobs despite receiving 63% as many hand-offs.

Bradshaw has helped replace Derrick Ward in the ground game, but hasn't been able to imitate him on the screen passes and dump-offs that netted Ward an extra 25 yards a game at 9.4 yards per catch. These short passes were an effective third option the Giants offense employed last year, but have been largely absent 8 games in 2009. However, the rest of the Giants passing game has been a pleasant surprise.

Despite all the hand wringing over the wide receiving corps coming into the season, Steve Smith, Mario Manningham and Hakeem Nicks each have 4 touchdowns and are on pace to combine for nearly 3,000 yards receiving. Eli Manning is averaging more yards through the air than he did last year (or any other year of his career), but that might be more of an indictment of the running game since he already has almost as many interceptions (8) as he did last year (10) and the schedule is only half over.

Defensively, the Giants have been slipping as well. They didn't allow any team to score more than 35 points against them last year but the Saints and Eagles both eclipsed the 40 point barrier in the last three weeks. Jerry Reese made steps to shore up the defensive line with the additions of Chris Canty and Rocky Bernard but Canty has appeared in a grand total of one game while Bernard has been a relative non-factor in the 7 he's made it into. Their other major defensive free agent acquisition, Michael Boley, has played in only 3 games at linebacker.

The secondary is the Giants' most glaring weakness on either side of the ball. Kenny Phillips' season-ending injury was the most devastating, as his absence paved the way for "Bad, Bad C.C. Brown". Due to his flagrant suckitude, Brown has been relegated to third safety duties in favor of Aaron Rouse, a waiver wire pick up from the Packers. Cornerback Aaron Ross hasn't played a game all year with a hamstring injury and won't start today.

The Giants also have an uphill climb remaining. In addition to playing the second half of their divisional schedule, they'll face the Falcons at home and the Broncos and Vikings on the road.

More immediately, they'll try to snap a three game losing streak at the Meadowlands today against the Chargers before a much needed bye week.

In baseball, it's foolish to make a big deal out of one regular season game, but not in the NFL. If the Giants lose to (4-3) San Diego today at 4:15, they will likely have to win at least 4 but probably 5 of their remaining 7 games to make the playoffs. That will be a tall order considering those opponents are currently a combined 14 games over .500.

Conversely, if they manage to pull this one out, they'll be 6-3 heading into the the bye week on a positive note and will have two weeks to prepare for the match up against the Falcons, a team they are likely to be fighting for a Wild Card spot with.

Given the year the Yankees are coming off of, I'm not going to be crushed if the Giants turn in a disappointing campaign. But another trip to the playoffs would most certainly help bridge the gap until pitchers and catchers report. And a win today would be a big step in the right direction. Let's go G-Men.

Either Way, The Answer Is "Yes"

I was reading through this post on the Blue Screen I noticed this ad widget on the side:

Soooo, which is it? I'm going to go with 117, because the only way you are going to get an average IQ of 84 among 53 people is if they are all six years old, suffer from dementia or are related to Kevin Millar. That or they messed up and 84 is really just Brandon Jacobs' score.

Brandon Jacobs: Marine Biologist

Via Ralphie V., Brandon Jacobs took some of the money he got from his new contract and went to Disney World.

This shot was actually taken at Discovery Cove "A Place Beyond Words":

Enjoy an all-inclusive tropical vacation designed to fit into one unforgettable day. All it takes is a reservation to get to a place where friendly dolphins and birds welcome you to their home in an exclusive, secluded tropical getaway.

"Exclusive", "Secluded". Both words I instantly associate with a 30 acre theme park in Orlando, Florida.

Then experience the high point of your day as you befriend a delightful dolphin who welcomes you to share a swim in a tranquil lagoon.

Unless you are Brandon Jacobs and you get paired with a racist dolphin who refuses to take you for a swim.

Awww, Don't You Know Who The F___ I am?

Brandon Jacobs isn't going to be happy about this...

The Giants locked Brandon Jacobs up for at least the 2009 season by slapping the dreaded “franchise player” tag on him this afternoon. That decision — only the second time the Giants have ever used the “franchise” tag and the first time since they tagged Jumbo Elliott in 1993 — guarantees Jacobs a salary of $6.621 million next season, which is the average of the top five running back salaries last year. It also gives the Giants the right to match any contract offer Jacobs receives during the free-agent signing period.

Early last season, shortly after having discovered the video below, while watching a Giants game, Sampson and I dubbed Jacobs "The Juggernaut". The Max Kellerman Show later arrived at the same conclusion and still uses some two-second drops (which are only two seconds long because there is a curse word every three seconds) from the video on their show. If you like comic book-based cartoons, ebonics or just pretending Brandon Jacobs did the voiceovers for this video, enjoy the show. . .

Baseball Is Your Pal, Football Is Your Gal

Early in the history of this blog, we established a tradition based on a quote from the 1st Earl of Beaconsfield, Benjamin Disraeli, who once said, "It is easier to be critical than right." It's relatively easy to eviscerate some one's stupid ideas. It's much more difficult to come up with original thoughts of your own.

Unlike Richard Justice stupidly contended, Baseball isn't better than football, nor is the inverse true. They are about as far apart as two sports can be, besides maybe golf and rugby. Just based on the duration of the season, I would consider myself more of a baseball fan right now, but I've been a die hard Giants fan since I was five or six years old.

One of my earliest memories is of the drive back upstate with my father from Giants Stadium after the GMen beat the Lions to improve to 11-0 back in 1990. My dad would rattle off uniform numbers, and I would respond with the corresponding player. "27 - Rodney Hampton, 85 - Stephen Baker "The Touchdown Maker", 56 - Lawrence Taylor, 70 - Leonard Marshall, 58 - Carl Banks, 11 - Phil Sims, 55 - Gary Reasons, 30 - Dave Meggett, 82 - Mark Ingram, 89 - Mark Bavaro, 76 - Jumbo Elliot". I probably watched Giants Among Men, and True Blue 50 times each.

We had a Super Bowl party that year and I can still remember Scott Norwood's kick sailing wide right and getting lost in the celebration in our family room. Conversely, when the Yanks won in 1996, my dad was away in Taiwan for business and I watched Charlie Hayes catch that pop-up by myself.

George Carlin of course has the seminal work in contrasting the two sports, and Joe Posnanski recently drilled further down into the differences in language between them, but I have a take that I haven't heard anywhere else.

It took me about a week after the Giants lost this year to realize it, but to me, baseball is like a good friend and football is like a girlfriend. After they were ousted I wore my blue and red Giants winter hat for three straight days and listened to Ben Folds on the walk to work. It was odd and pathetic sort of melancholy, almost like I got dumped.

Football is emotional, passionate and physical. Although baseball has the go-to sexual metaphor (rounding the bases), to me, "driving down the field","crossing the goal line", "settling for a field goal" or "having to punt" make more sense.

Brandon Jacobs running over LaRon Landry in the first quarter of Week 1 against the Redskins gave me a far greater sense of satisfaction than A-Rod hitting a home run against the Orioles in the second inning of a game in April ever could. Likewise, intimacy with a significant other can grant you satisfaction in a way a friend just can't. In football, the highs are higher and the lows are lower.

You hang out with baseball all summer long. On any given night, you can take it or leave it because you know it's going to be around the next day. Blow off football and you've gotta wait an entire week for the next game.

You don't put that much stock into every single baseball game. You don't analyze everything your friend says either, unlike how your lady picks apart the nuance in every word you use. The Yanks could roll into Kansas City next May, line up CC Sabathia against Brain Bannister and lose and still take the series. If your football team lays an egg against a team they should beat, it is literally 10 times more significant to their record.

Looking back at my Giants vs. Yankees posts, the former tend to be more fiery, and my "Fuck" To Other Word Ratio (FTOWR) is quite high. My stuff about the Yankees is more statistically grounded, objective and decidedly lacking in vitriol. Although, if Robinson Cano had done what Plaxico Burress did and Joba Chamberlain said what Brandon Jacobs said, that might not be the case.

And no, that's not my girlfriend. I would never date a girl with a tramp stamp! (It's this comely lass)

Brandon Jacobs To Attend Harvard Law

According to the Daily News, Brandon Jacobs is already making some pretty outrageous demands in order for the Giants to retain his services:

The big, free-agent-to-be running back endorsed that package deal Thursday during a promotional appeararnce [sic] at Super Bowl XLIII hype week. Jacobs promised that his friend, Burress, is a changed man after his recent brush with death, and he insisted that the Giants should give him a second chance.

"Oh, no question," Jacobs said. "If I'm here, I need 17 back on that roster."

You see, Brandon, that might not be the Giants' choice. Not sure if you heard, but your friend Plaxico committed a crime that carries a mandatory three year sentence.

You can't judge him for what happened because nobody really knows what goes on out in the street. A lot of people don't really know anything about what happened or how targeted we are. I'm not going to blame him from protecting himself. The guy is not a criminal. He shot himself. He didn't shoot no one else and I think we should get off his case. And I think anybody in that situation should get off and be able to continue his career.

Unholy Jesus. Do I really have to pick this apart bit by bit? I think I do, because every sentence is astoundingly idiotic.

"You can't judge him for what happened because nobody really knows what goes on out in the street."

Maybe I can't "judge" him, but a fucking Judge can and will "judge" him.

"A lot of people don't really know anything about what happened or how targeted we are."

Maybe if he was so "targeted" he shouldn't have been wearing a shitload of jewelry and going out to a strip club called "HeadQuarters" and a nightclub called "The Latin Quarter" in Midtown-fucking-Manhattan. Or, perhaps he could have used some of that $35M contract he just signed to hire a security detail instead of illegally carrying a gun (and then shooting himself with it). Steve Smith got robbed the week before, didn't have a gun and he was fine.

"The guy is not a criminal. He shot himself."

Actually, yes, he is a criminal because he fucking shot himself in the boro of Manhattan where it is illegal to carry a firearm, much less an unregistered one into a nightclub, you ignoramus.

"He didn't shoot no one else and I think we should get off his case."

I ain't going to ignore no double negative. That said, the Giants aren't the ones getting on his case. That would be the DA. And that would be an actual legal case. Because he is charged with a crime.

"And I think anybody in that situation should get off and be able to continue his career."

Tell it to the motherfucking DA or Mayor Bloomberg, I'm sure they would be thrilled to hear your rationale over an Earl Grey and some crumpets.

And from later on in the article, just for good measure.

"If we had Plax on our team, we go 15-1 and we win the Super Bowl."

Die of typhoid fever you massive fragile fuck. If you weren't constantly fucking injured that might have helped as well.

The Next Great Debate

Yes, the "Next Great Debate" (that's sure to be played out by the time I'm done writing this post.)



What position would LeBron play if he was in the NFL?

In that freeze frame above, it looks like he's lined up wide, but #23 is a RB's number. He's listed at 6'8" 240 or 250 (or 6'9" 270). We'll go with 6'8" 250, close enough. He could be a defensive end, but he's probably not quite bulky enough. He could be a linebacker, but I don't think he's mean enough. I think most people agree that he should be on the offensive side of the ball at a skill position. It basically boils down to RB or WR.

Am I the only person in the world who thinks that LeBron should be a running back?

There is one thing every single person who disagrees with me says: "He's too big". Is he? Being large in and of itself is not a bad thing, it's a good thing. It's the things that come along with being unnaturally massive that those doubters are referring to. Freakishly tall people's bodies break down because our infrastructure just wasn't made to support that much weight, except in very rare cases like LeBron, who I assume was genetically engineered in a laboratory under the NBA headquarters on Madison Avenue. The thing that makes him such a transcendent athlete is that he has the quickness and agility of someone much smaller than him.

The tallest RB in the NFL right now is Brandon Jacobs (6'4" 264), and truth be told, LeBron would be tied for the tallest WR ever in the NFL with Harold Carmichael. Kobe recently claimed he could play wide receiver for the Eagles (via Deadspin). I'm not sure I've ever heard of that franchise, but I agree with that casting. Kobe (6'6" 205, er 220?) [Ed note: Can we get these fuckers on a scale and get this straight?] is built a lot more like Randy Moss (6'4" 210) than LeBron is. He's lean and graceful, and could never take the pounding necessary to carry the ball even 10 or 15 times a game. LeBron is a whole lot sturdier than Kobe.

What it really comes down to is the injury factor. If LeBron could stay healthy as a RB he would be more valuable that he would at WR. It's almost exactly the same conundrum you have with Joba Chamberlain. In both cases, you have a freakishly gifted athlete who could probably play two different roles. The more valuable one seems like it would create a greater potential for injury.

Running backs get hit almost everytime they carry the ball, but at the same time, they have more control over how they get hit. You rarely see a RB take a crushing blow (Willis MaGahee not withstanding). They develop a sense of how to cushion the blows, while a wide receiver can get blindsided going over the middle in a way a running back is rarely going to. LeBron is tremendously shifty for a guy his size and would be extremely hard to tackle. Evidenced by his incredible passing ability on the hardwood, he's the great vision and awareness necessary to find seams in defenses.

Brandon Jacobs runs a 4.56 40 yard dash and on a basketball court, he'd probably lumber down the floor like a C or a PF. LeBron blasts down the floor to the tune of a 4.4 40 and runs the break like a PG. Please direct your attention to the video below and then tell me King James couldn't blow open any counter rush or screen pass and take it to the house.

Giants Upcoming Matchup

Hello All,

Is everyone else as excited as I am for their first week of work in 2009er (Did I catch a niner in there)? As you may know i haven't really worked for the past 2 weeks so this is especially awesome for me.)

On to my point, with the exciting games on Saturday and the shitty, unbearably boring games Sunday we have learned that our beloved Defending Champion New York Football Giants of New Jersey will be playing the Eagles of Philadelphia. Going into this past weekend, I really didn't care who won because I figured the GMen will skull fuck whoever they play anyway. After this weeks games I feel the same way. However, all we are going to hear this week is how the Eagles are going to win, the Eagles are last years Giants, the Eagles beat he Giants in the Meadowlands 4 weeks ago, etc., etc.

FUCK THAT SHIT!!!

And here is why.

First of all, what from that abortion of a game would lead anyone to think that the Eagles could beat the Giants? Was it the one 71 yard screen pass to Westbrook, the inability of T. Jackson to thrown the ball, the ineptitude of Brad Childress (and everyone on Minnesota except Purple Jesus and C. Taylor)? The Eagles played like shit and beat a team that barely beat the Giants 2nd string.

The key to beating the Eagles is running the ball. This is why the Giants lost last time they played: Brandon Jacobs was out. Now, I believe that Derrick Ward can carry the load without Jacobs, but there is no denying that Jacobs is the premier playmaker on this offense. Also, that last game four weeks ago was Week 1 LAB (Life After Burress). So, not only is your best RB out, but your best WR is out too. The Giants are still a very dangerous team without Burress, but they obviously will need some adjustment time to revamp the offensive to work with their personnel.

So the Eagles will now have to come into a very hostile stadium and play a team that is has been resting for pretty much three weeks and has their brusier of a RB back and a passing attack that will be brand new to them.

The only thing that startles me a little is Antonio Pierce. He has been getting torched all season by various TE and RB, including Westbrook (Note: middle LB needs to be addressed in the first round of this years draft). I think that he will probably give up a few plays, but I fully expect the Giants offense to be too much for the Eagles to handle.

Will's Prediction:
GMen 27
Eagles 17

Other Writers' Average Prediction:
Gmen 10
Eagles 198

Analyzing The Giants Regular Season Stats

The NFL regular season has come and gone, and the Giants have locked up homefield advantage throughout. This week has been rather quiet in Giantsland, and until they find out who thier opponent is, it will remain quiet. So I'm going to take this opportunity to go over some of the G-Men's regular season results. I already mentioned the fact that they tied the record for fewest turnovers in a season, but here are some more interesting tidbits:

• Domenik Hixon was actually their leading reciever, with 596 yards, followed closely by Toomer (580) and Plax (574). There were six guys with more than 30 catches and 384+ yards. That's what you call "spreading it around" folks.
• Eli Manning had far an away his best season, throwing only 10 INTs and boasting a passer rating (86.4) 10 points higher than his next closest season. He was much more similar to the QB he was last year in the playoffs than he was during last year's regular season.
• Much has already been said about Jacobs and Ward both going for over 1,000 yards on the season, but Ward also caught 41 passes for 384 yards, at 9.4 yards a pop. That wouldn't be a great average for a wide receiver, but remember that almost all of those passes are either screens or dump offs and he's getting a ton of yards after the catch.
• Ahmad Bradshaw carried the ball for 355 yards on 67 attempts, the third RB averaging over 5 yards a carry, although this was certainly helped by his 77 yard near TD run against Baltimore (note: I'll have a post about this sort of thing in the next few days). He's excellent for a second year player and should be ready to take on a bigger role the next year when all signs point to the Giants losing at least one of their top two guys to free agency.
• Tuck (12) and Kiwanuka (8) combined for 20 of the team's 42 sacks, down from 53 last year. The team really did miss Osi and Strahan, but still did an admirable job of getting to the QB.
• After a slow start, the Giants came away with 17 interceptions, 3 more than 2007.

Should be a great weekend for Football... 4 games over two days and Joe's got the previews to prove it. Go Vikings.