Thursday, February 5, 2009

Would Someone Take This F____r Out Of The Division?

As first reported by Joel Sherman this morning, it appears that Kevin Millar is heading to the Blue Jays on a minor league deal. Sherman added that the Nationals, Rangers and Mets all considered signing him, along with the Yankees, on the strength of recommendations from Johnny Damon (understandable) and Alex Rodriguez (WTF?).

A-Rod, you have never played on the same team as Millar. Not even the same All-Star team (because Millar never made one). He was on the Red Sox, remember? The only thing you guys have in common is that you both like to dye your hair blonde. Perhaps you share a stylist?

In 110 games against the Yankees, Millar has a 120 OPS+, the highest against any AL team, save for the Tampa Bay Jesus Rays. Just last year, on May 27th, Millar went 3-6 with two home runs against the Yanks in an 11 inning showdown the Yanks ended up losing after Millar was intentionally walked to load the bases.

I hate Kevin Millar. I hate him a lot. From the "Cowboy Up" and "Idiots" bullshit, to his Slim Shady haircut and his stupid fucking goatee. I hate the fact that he came back and threw out the first pitch at Fenway for Game 7 of the ALCS in 2007, when he still played for the Orioles. If he was still on the Red Sox, I would have probably figured a way to name this blog after how much I hope he loses an arm in trash compactor.

Fack you Kevin Millah, you Bobcat Goldtwhait-looking motherfackah.


  1. I had to roll the mouse over "stylist" just to be sure that you had linked to the master himself. anything else would have been an egregious error.

  2. Of course sir.

    I wasn't going to go with Jonathan Antin...