Damning With Faint Praise

On the heels of yet another anti-Chip Caray piece, again by Richard Sadomir, the well-respected David Pinto tires admirably to find something good about the TBS broadcast:

TBS does deserve praise for one aspect of its coverage, however, keeping the broadcast about the game. There are no guests in the booth, no taking an inning to talk about the news of the game rather than the play on the field.

I can't recall any circumstances where there was a guest in the booth if a playoff game, but I could be wrong because if I was watching, I would have temporarily blacked out from rage. Guests in the booth inevitably subtract from the broadcast, with the only exception being Jimmy Kimmel, and he was banned forever as a result.

Praising TBS for not having guests in the booth is like congratulating Ryan Franklin for not giving up a home run against the Dodgers or patting the Red Sox on the back because they managed three singles against John Lackey yesterday. "Hey well at least they didn't fuck up in every way imaginable!" I never thought I'd say this, but the sooner the broadcasts are turned over to FOX, the better.

A Special Guest Apology

/Barry White voice

Melky, I'm sorry baby. I never should have given up on you like I did. The thing was... well, you just... you hurt me so bad. All of last season, Melky, the pop ups, the strike outs. I couldn't handle 'em. They were drivin' me mad. We didn't make the playoffs, and you know that the lack of production from CF was a major reason for that. I know you know that. 

I never should have written that post after that walk off homer you hit against the A's where I said that you still shouldn't be starting. I shoulda looked at Brett Gardner's numbers, because they were no where near as good as yours, Melky. I guess sometimes we let our judgements get clouded by emotion, and we can't see the forest through the trees. 

And now I'm torn, ya know? Because both of y'all did some amazing things last night and I don't know who to choose. Your numbers are almost exactly in line with your 2007 season, and back then you were a servicable Major League player. But now we're two years older and the road ahead don't look the same, ya dig? 

But part of me is sayin' that it's too good to be true; that these numbers ain't gonna last. I'm worried are gonna do me wrong, just like you have in the past. You're gonna get all free swingin' and wild, causin' your on-base to drop to .300 like it was last year and then your gonna leave me high and dry. Please prove me wrong, Melky. I'm beggin' you.

But no matter what happens between us, I'mma aaaallllways remember last night: