Saturday, May 16, 2009

A Special Guest Apology

/Barry White voice

Melky, I'm sorry baby. I never should have given up on you like I did. The thing was... well, you just... you hurt me so bad. All of last season, Melky, the pop ups, the strike outs. I couldn't handle 'em. They were drivin' me mad. We didn't make the playoffs, and you know that the lack of production from CF was a major reason for that. I know you know that. 

I never should have written that post after that walk off homer you hit against the A's where I said that you still shouldn't be starting. I shoulda looked at Brett Gardner's numbers, because they were no where near as good as yours, Melky. I guess sometimes we let our judgements get clouded by emotion, and we can't see the forest through the trees. 

And now I'm torn, ya know? Because both of y'all did some amazing things last night and I don't know who to choose. Your numbers are almost exactly in line with your 2007 season, and back then you were a servicable Major League player. But now we're two years older and the road ahead don't look the same, ya dig? 

But part of me is sayin' that it's too good to be true; that these numbers ain't gonna last. I'm worried are gonna do me wrong, just like you have in the past. You're gonna get all free swingin' and wild, causin' your on-base to drop to .300 like it was last year and then your gonna leave me high and dry. Please prove me wrong, Melky. I'm beggin' you.

But no matter what happens between us, I'mma aaaallllways remember last night:

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