As Good As It Gets?

In a way, Aaron Boone needing to have heart surgery is sort of karmic justice for the collective cardiac trauma he inflicted on Red Sox Nation on October 16th, 2003:

Boone made the announcement Wednesday, saying he has known about his heart condition since college but tests done after his routine physical determined he needed surgery. It is not an emergency, but doctors indicated the procedure was needed.

He said doctors told him he could play baseball when he recovers, but he's not sure if he will.

Godspeed, Mr. Boone. You made one of the most monumental plays in the history of sport. That swing extended the "curse" one more year and topped off one of the best nights of my life. Your knee injury in a pick-up basketball game opened the door for A-Rod, and even after this offseason, I can't hold it against you.

In 50 years, will we still look at that parabola into the left field seats as the cresendo of the Yankees vs. Red Sox Rivalry?

How could it get more momentous? That homer left the bat of a guy who had been inserted earlier as a pinch runner. It was the 11th inning of a Game 7.

Bucky Dent's dinger was in the 7th inning of a play-in game. When the Red Sox struck back in '04, it was the 2nd inning and the rest of the game felt like a foregone conclusion. For something more dramatic to occur would take a script less realistic than Rookie of the Year.

[h/t Shysterball]

Nothing Like Home

It took 11 hours, four separate car rides, and the combined efforts of five friends/family members, but I finally made it back to NYC last night. I've got some pictures documenting the journey back which may or may not make their way up on the site after work.

The mythical music post obviously didn't make it up this weekend due to the unforseen circumstances discussed above and Brendan still has to weigh in with his Extreme Beer Fest recap, so the non-sports content is going to bleed into the week a little bit. Hope y'all folks don't mind.

Some Friendly Advice

There is never a good time to lose your car keys, but when you are a solid four hour drive from home and quite hungover, misplacing them will make you want to slit your wrists with a broken bottle.

The good news? There are plenty of bottles to choose from.

Number of Days Until Spring Training: Aaron Boone (#19)

Uh, remember this?


WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED?!?!?!

Remember when the Yankees were invincible and the Red Sox were just a bunch of gagging choke artists trying to suck three dicks at once?

WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED?!?!?!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhnnnn

/regains composure

The night Aaron Boone singlehandedly caused a record 326 heart attacks and 114 suicides the the greater Commonwealth of Massachusetts, I was attending Bentley College, in Waltham. My college tenure (2002-2006) coincided with some of the fiercest skirmishes in the history of the Yankees vs. Red Sox version of the Hundred Years War.

We were sophomores and happened to be living in a dorm populated by almost all seniors because my freshman year roommate won the 2nd pick in the housing lottery. My roommate Kevin and I got together with a few other Yankees fans (Kristen, Katie, Allissa, you out there?) and watched it in our room.

When the Red Sox were winning 4-1 in the top of the seventh, a few Boston loving, lobstah cracking, Storrow Drive driving, Kelly's Roast Beef loving (btw there is no fucking way you "created the orignial roast beef sandwich"), Jim Koch blowing, Boston Stranglin', Reveeah Beach walking (America's first public beach, huh? THEY WERE ALL PUBLIC WHEN THE FUCKING NATIVE AMERICANS LIVED HERE YOU RACIST OPRESSORS), yellow rain slicker wearing, NESN watching, chowdah gulping, Bernie and Phyl's shopping, Tia's on the Waterfront sweating, Tequila Rain dancing, Who's On First patrons who also happened to be motherfucking giant shiteating, fuckfaced fish mongers from fackin' Sawgus, Walpole, Reading, Taunton or some other godforsaken shithole, thought it would be a good idea to bang on everyone's doors and scream unintelligible shit.

Sorry, I lost it again for a second there.

It was before the ubiquity of the DVR and pretty much everyone on campus was watching the game at the exact same time. If you weren't tuned in, you probably still had a pretty good idea of what was going on, just by the collective audible reactions echoing throughout the dorms. It was fucking electric, and I can't imagine a baseball game ever getting to that place again.

The Red Sox have obviously since smartened up and became the Yankees pimp in recent years, so I guess there could technically be an epic playoff rematch, but I highly doubt it's going to come down to an 11th inning, Game 7, walk-off home run by a guy who never slugged .500 over a full season.

When it happened, everyone in the room went from deadly stoic to deliriously ecstatic in one swing of the bat. Being that most of the student body is from New England, we were one of the few rooms going absolutely insane, literally jumping around like a bunch of four year olds on a trampoline for the first time.

Because of that Perfect Storm, the aforementioned Matt Damon idolizing, NKOTB fawning, dock workers ended up eating a giant bag of shit for their premature celebration while the other Wellesley living, Nantucket vacationing, Tea Party having, Charles River trail running, Jordan's Furniture investing, Volvo driving, Phillips Exeter grads cried into the J. Crew sweaters draped over their shoulders and about 200,000 pink Sox hats got put back in the closet until the next October.

Whatever Sox fans, you won in 2004, con-fucking-gradulations, but Johnny Damon's 2nd inning grand slam could never hold a candle to Aaron-Fackin-Boone. Admit it. You were still worried until that last out was recorded. You will always be our collective bitches. Why don't you have a couple of glasses of Jameson and go for a drive?

For fuck's sake, can the season start already? Shovel off the Zeusdamn fields. I'll play!


Did I mention I hate Boston?

[Ed. Note: I could never have come up with all these Boston stereotypes by myself, and thus enlisted pretty much everyone I know that spend some time out there, including my sister, Joe, Kevin, Will and Cliff]

Today Was Not a Great Day for Boston College

I am sure there will be more said about this tomorrow, but since Will had been on a rant and I just purely dislike all things Boston, I thought I would mention that today was not BC’s finest day. First, they fire the head coach of the Football team, and then the #24 Golden Eagles lose on the hardwood to Harvard at home. Not to mention it was Harvard’s first win ever over a ranked team. Can’t say I am complaining though.

THE YANKEES ARE RUINING BASEBALL!!!!

(This story would have fit better about a week ago, but with the holidays and all, I am just getting to it now.)

This is all I have been hearing since the Yankees had their big 3 signings this year: "All that money for one player?", "Highest payroll in the league?" BLAH BLAH BLAH...go fuck yourself.

First, I would like to address to the two biggest groups of haters (Red Sox and Mets fans), then I will address the general haters.

Red Sox Fans: You are a bitter bunch of fucks. Your team has the second highest payroll and just because your fucktard owner wouldn't dish out a few extra million dollars for Tex you can't handle it. Then most of you do the obvious thing and try and say how much Tex is gonna blow this year. Which is quite logical because who would expect him to do well with the security of a long term contract, his proven record of offensive and defensive ability throughout his career, and the small fact that he will have the luxury of batting in front of ALEX-FUCKING-RODRIGUEZ. You will be lucky if Tex doesn't hit 135 HRs this year.

Mets Fans: You are just pathetic. You all get pissed because when you signed K-Rod, and everyone was on your team's dick for about 20 minutes until the Yanks signed CC and AJ. You are a second class team. DEAL WITH IT. Also, don't give me that shit about payroll, because you have the 3rd highest payroll in the league and the highest payroll in the NL. I think deep down you all know that no matter who you sign your team is still going to suck and not do shit when it matters.

General Haters: First of all, the people that say the Yankees are bad for baseball are retarded. I will bring you back to the mid to late 1990s. For those of you who remember, the 1994 World Series was canceled because of a players' strike. All that BS aside, the Yankees emerging from that, spending a shit load of cash and creating this dynasty that carried baseball out of that. I will also knowledge the McGuire/Sosa HRfest helped too, but the Yankees started that shit and carry it on to this day.

Look at teams like the Marlins, Pirates, etc. These teams have cheap owners who are only in this to make money; I won't get into all that but that is why their payroll is a fraction of the Yankees. This is also the reason why teams like this sell-out 4 games per year: Opening Day, and when the Yankees are in town. That is bad for them, how?

Now for the main point that inspired this whole piece. For all of you out there that hate how much the Yankees spend, I don't care. And guess what, neither do any other Yankee fans. We pay money to go see our team play and we expect management to do what it takes to put together the best team available for our fucking entertainment. If your owners/management are just too fucking cheap to do that, then that's your fucking problem.

And another thing, you don't hear us bitching when some Boston fag (Matt Damon/Ben Affleck) makes $25 Million to make some piece of shit movie that you assholes flock to like its the next coming of Christ. FUCK YOU ALL.