Friday Morning Link Party

This has been by far the slowest week of the offseason around these parts with a slow drip of news and a heavy dose of manual labor keeping me away from my computer. Things will get better soon as we will be dusting off our Countdown to Spring Training via uniform number starting tomorrow morning and running every day through February 16th. The Yanks hurlers and backstops report on the 17th, giving us 26 days and counting until Spring Training begins.

For now, here are some links to propel you towards the weekend.

Our buddy Jason lays out an exhaustive rubric you can use to determine whether you are "new school" or "old school" in your tastes as a baseball fan. I'm somewhere in the middle because I have the most respect for the great players who aren't demonstrative but understand that amount of money that guys are making has changed a lot of aspects of the game.

Javier Vazquez told a Spanish language newspaper in his native Puerto Rico that he doesn't know how much longer he wants to play and might be willing to go year to year with his contracts a la Andy Pettitte. Or at least that's what I'm told. Me Espanol es muy mal. And before you go off the deep end like this guy about it, remember that Pettitte doesn't seem to have lost any of his "desire" over the past couple of years.

Minor league guru John Sickels has some very nice things to say about Jesus Montero. He released them in the hopes that they might get you to buy his book but that doesn't make them any less true. I hope.

The Royals signed Rick Ankiel for $3.25M with a $6M mutual option for next year. Stop it. It's not funny. Okay, it's pretty funny.

If you were wondering why Jason Bay didn't re-sign with the Red Sox, here's why.

Bruce Markusen from the Hardball Times (and Bronx Banter) lists off some of today's best baseball nicknames and then goes back in history position but position to find the all-time greats.

Patrick Sullivan at Baseball Analysts demonstrates to Murray Chass how someone's opinion can matter even if they don't have a Hall of Fame vote.

Beyond the Box Score is continuing their effort to honor the best in statistically-slanted baseball writing with the BtB Sabermetric Awards. There are seven categories to vote on which are sure to contain excellent pieces of analytical baseball thinking that you were not aware of.

Larry from Wezen-Ball earned himself a radio interview as a result of his widely acclaimed Charlie Brown baseball posts. His plot to take over the world continued yesterday with the official release of his iPhone/Android app.

In case you were wondering, Hideki Irabu still retired. For real this time.

And finally a bit of fun non-baseball reading. Joe Posnanski picks apart a bunch of infomercials for your entertainment.

We'll be back with more before the day is done.

Two Parts Awful, One Part Awesome

That pretty much describes the entirety of what you can find at Everything Is Terrible. They specialize in mash ups of embarrassing instructional videos, repetitive promotional videos, obnoxious videos attempting to tell you how to be funny, anti-drug videos so unrealistic that they border on propaganda, ridiculous religious videos, awful 80's movies, and apparently even do really strange live shows.

Well I bring them up because they recently found a baseball video that takes the most annoying components of Scooter the talking fastball and the cheesiest parts of Tom Emanski's videos and compressed it down into two and a half very terrible minutes.

And to make up for how painful that was to watch, here is my favorite EIT creation, which isolates the part in every infomercial where the narrator essentially asks "Are you tired of...?":

Yankees: "Nothing's F___ed Here, Dude"

Part of an email from New York Yankees Ticket News:

Yankees Seats Between The Bases:

We are happy to announce that a limited number of Season Plan seat locations are now available in select infield seating areas between the bases of the new Yankee Stadium. Season Plans between the bases are the best way to ensure the finest general seat locations for 2009, the inaugural season of the new Yankee Stadium.

Buy Seats Between The Bases Now »

Number One: You are not "happy to announce that a limited number of Season Plan seat locations are now available in select infield seating areas...". Yes, we are thrilled that some of the most expensive seats in our Stadium are still unsold!

"A ONCE IN A LIFETIME OPPORTUNITY"... you hear that, folks? This reminds me of the infomerical for some shitty gold coin or an Obama plate that they are calling a "collector's item".

"Due to strong demand, there is a limit of two victory plates per caller".

Actually, no. Due to weak demand, you have to advertise. Do people really fall for this shit? I can only buy two??? They must be valuable!!! Nevermind the fact that nothing ever purchased on an infomercial or QVC has ever increased in value. They don't sell things that are rare, or that actual collectors want on TV.

They are even having an Open House so you can select the seats!!!!

A limited number of Field Level seats between the bases and Yankees Premium Season Seat Licenses are still available.

Come to Yankee Stadium to meet with a Yankees Account Representative and view the best available locations, which feature spectacular views and numerous amenities. During the Open House Select a Seat, guests will be able to "try-out" seat locations for all ticket packages, including Full and Partial Plans.

"Try-out"? Does that mean you get to, like, sit in them? Get the Yankees to play an exhibition game for people, and you might get some of them to think about dropping a minimum of $325 per ticket.

The Bronx View (Act Now And It's Yours For $0)

Last night I wrote a post ripping ESPN radio for the terrible commercials on their online stream. It made me wonder why I still listen to it at all...

[Infomercial voice]

• Do you find yourself wanting to strangle Colin Cowherd?
• Turned off by Max Kellerman's smarmy assertions?
• Think Cwhis Wusso's a weetawd?
• Not too confident in Mike Francesa's sauces?
• Like the Yankees, but think Michael Kay is a dummy?

We'll then you won't believe what I have in store for you!!1!!1!

[Turns off infomercial voice]


There are good alternatives to ESPN radio (or WFAN) out there, even if they don't stream all day long. The Bronx View podcast gives you about an hour of quality objective Yankee analysis roughly every two weeks during the offseason and once a week or more from April to October. Scott and Ian are two guys who can talk intelligently about all things Yankees without annoying you with the kind of ego it takes to usurp a prime-time sports talk radio slot.

The latest edition includes analysis of what Andy Pettitte means to the rotation, reactions to Joe Torre's new book, projecting the AAA rotation, and a 15 minute segment on Brad Ausmus. (One of those is not true).

The best part?

No commercials!