Walter Sobchak Approves

"3,000 years of beautiful tradition from Moses to Sandy Koufax, 

you're damn right I'm living in the fucking past!"

Perhaps we should have changed Sandy Koufax to Ron Bloomberg for this one.

This press release from the Yankees yesterday. (h/t Pete Abe)

The New York Yankees have announced the addition of strictly kosher food offerings and Shabbat accommodations at their November 2009 and January 2010 Fantasy Camps.

Glatt kosher food will be provided by Weberman Foods with OK supervision, and a Friday “Dream Game” will be played so Shomer Shabbat Jews can participate.

Campers who keep kosher will be able to fully participate in all regular camp activities and have three strictly kosher meals served daily. The camp will offer traditional Shabbat services Friday night and Saturday, as well as special Shabbat speakers and programming.

For six days and seven nights, Yankees Fantasy Campers live the life of a big league player, dressing in full Yankees uniform and using the same Spring Training clubhouse and fields as the New York Yankees. All campers get their very own locker and a staff of clubhouse attendants and professional trainers to create the authentic Yankees experience.

Former Yankees Chris Chambliss, Bucky Dent, Tommy John, Mickey Rivers, and Ron Blomberg, among others, are scheduled to attend.

Founded in 1997 and located in Tampa, Fla., the New York Yankees Fantasy Camp has hosted over 1,500 campers and 50 former New York Yankees players. For more information on the New York Yankees Fantasy Camp, and the addition of strictly kosher and Shabbat accommodations, please call (800) 368-2267.

"Saturday, Donny, is Shabbat, the Jewish day of rest. That means I don't work, I don't drive a car, I don't fucking ride in a car, I don't pick up the phone, I don't turn on the oven, and I SURE AS SHIT DON'T FUCKING ROLL PLAY AT A FANTASY CAMP! Shomer Shabbat!"

We'll see you in Tampa, Walter.

Yankees: "Nothing's F___ed Here, Dude"

Part of an email from New York Yankees Ticket News:

Yankees Seats Between The Bases:

We are happy to announce that a limited number of Season Plan seat locations are now available in select infield seating areas between the bases of the new Yankee Stadium. Season Plans between the bases are the best way to ensure the finest general seat locations for 2009, the inaugural season of the new Yankee Stadium.

Buy Seats Between The Bases Now »

Number One: You are not "happy to announce that a limited number of Season Plan seat locations are now available in select infield seating areas...". Yes, we are thrilled that some of the most expensive seats in our Stadium are still unsold!

"A ONCE IN A LIFETIME OPPORTUNITY"... you hear that, folks? This reminds me of the infomerical for some shitty gold coin or an Obama plate that they are calling a "collector's item".

"Due to strong demand, there is a limit of two victory plates per caller".

Actually, no. Due to weak demand, you have to advertise. Do people really fall for this shit? I can only buy two??? They must be valuable!!! Nevermind the fact that nothing ever purchased on an infomercial or QVC has ever increased in value. They don't sell things that are rare, or that actual collectors want on TV.

They are even having an Open House so you can select the seats!!!!

A limited number of Field Level seats between the bases and Yankees Premium Season Seat Licenses are still available.

Come to Yankee Stadium to meet with a Yankees Account Representative and view the best available locations, which feature spectacular views and numerous amenities. During the Open House Select a Seat, guests will be able to "try-out" seat locations for all ticket packages, including Full and Partial Plans.

"Try-out"? Does that mean you get to, like, sit in them? Get the Yankees to play an exhibition game for people, and you might get some of them to think about dropping a minimum of $325 per ticket.