Calcaterra & Carton Clash Over "Classless" Comment

The distinguished gentleman on the left, levitating a baseball with only the considerable powers of his mind, is Craig Calcaterra of NBC's Hardball Talk. The douchetastic brotard on the right is something commonly referred to as "Craig Carton". Those of you who live in the NYC area and hate your jobs so much that you can't help but fill your ears with obnoxious and nonsensical sports-related soliloquy to dull the pain may be familiar with him.

What do these two lifeforms, separated by about 70 IQ points have in common? Not much, aside from a first name, last initial and a short and highly entertaining radio segment.

The catalyst was the infamous Javier Vazquez post that Calcaterra wrote on Wednesday, which prompted a wholly non-sensical rebuttal from Carton which can be heard at around the 6:00 mark in the first audio clip on this page. Lisa from Subway Squwakers transcribed some of the quotes:

"I don't like it when people write columns attacking the integrity of the fan base," Carton complained, saying it was "open season on us Yankee fans," and promised to "defend New York fans to my death."

[...]

"How dare anybody tell Yankee fans" not to boo Vazquez, Carton griped, saying "Vazquez sucks, I'm gonna boo him."

If you listen to the segment, you might also notice that Carton pronounces it "Vass-Kwez" instead of "Vaz-kez", which might be excusable if he didn't, you know, get paid to say athletes names all fucking day long.

Naturally, a NYC radio host is going to pander to his audience railing against a blogger accusing them of being "classless and ignorant". But you might not expect a humble Midwestern gentleman such as Mr. Calcaterra to call up and defend his point.

Oh, but he did. The caption for the clip on the WFAN website (which spells C-a-l-c-a-t-e-r-r-a's name wrong) claims that "Craig and Boomer [Esiason] had him on and took the guy to task for his stupidity", which, as you might expect, is wildly inaccurate. See for yourself.

Carton does the typical egomaniac talk radio host and shouts down his guest to the point that his co-host Boomer Esiason has intervene to let Calcaterra get a word in edgewise. Predictably, the call ends as Carton calls Calcaterra "a nobody" and "a clown" and emphatically hangs up on him.

This interaction tells you pretty much all you need to know about the current state of sports talk radio vis-à-vis the blogosphere. Typically, you can comment on a blog and debate the relative merits of your arguments with the author, but if you try to call into a sports talk radio show to make a point, you'll get ridiculed, shouted down and hung up on if the host doesn't agree with what you're saying. Not to mention that the level of analysis and discourse found on blogs is several light years beyond what you are likely to hear on most talk radio shows.

Now if you'll excuse me, my acute case of Bill James Disease is flaring up and I need to get that taken care of.

Kellerman Will "Hopefully Be Back On-Air Soon"

For the first time since unceremoniously leaving his radio show on 1050 ESPN in New York, Max Kellerman commented publicly about the departure. He did so in an interview promoting the upcoming Floyd Mayweather vs. Juan Manuel Marquez fight on HBO PPV this coming Saturday former adversary Bob Raissman, whose mustache Kellerman frequently pondered the Freudian implications of.

After discussing his ascent from his cable access show "Max on Boxing" to his current role as primary analyst for the Mayweather vs. Marquez fight, Kellerman expressed regret for how he departed his radio show, saying:

Would I do certain things different? Absolutely. I don't know anybody who has made the optimal choice at every moment in their life. Some things, given the information I had at the time, well, I made what I thought was a good choice. Now, I would be more diplomatic, not so plain-spoken behind the scenes.

Loyal members of the Max Kellerman army wish it had gone down differently as well. After Kellerman left, his slots were filled by the Brandon Tierney Show and The Herd with Colin Cowherd, neither of whom provided the unique perspective on the Yankees and Giants that Max did since his show debuted in August of 2006.

He also made some opaque comments about his eventual return to the radio:

"I love the radio. I loved what I did," Kellerman said. "Now that some time has passed, yes, I was interested in (joining) Mike Francesa and WFAN. What he's done with his show, and his career, is very impressive and I was absolutely interested in that. And I think there was interest there too," Kellerman said. "There are several (radio) things we are looking at. Hopefully I will be back on the air soon."

Interesting that Kellerman talks about his interest in partnering with Francesa, something we speculated about a while back, in the past tense. Interesting also that the interview was published almost exactly six months after he left the show, when his contract was supposedly up. Given that ESPN no longer controls his rights, a return to the air is likely near.

As I said back in February, I think WFAN should slot Kellerman from 10-1, where his old show was on 1050. A pairing with Francesa would be annoying to loyal listeners of each host and they would get better ratings by spreading two big draws out over two time slots. But what do I know? I'd only been listening to Kellerman since the day his show came on the air and represent the most desirable demographic of radio listeners - males 18-34.

Either way, I'm anxiously awaiting Kellerman's return to the airwaves. Sports talk radio has been unlistenable without him. We'll keep you posted on any developments in this area.

Kellerman! Simmons! Francesa!

Neil Best of Newsday has been on top of the Kellerman story since it broke (err, I tipped him off about it and was not attributed)

And yesterday afternoon he transcribed a portion of the B.S. Report (at the 45:09 mark) where Simmons addressed the story about Kellerman and the rumors concerning Francesa. (I'm just going to blockquote the whole thing):

Bill Simmons: "Max Kellerman left his ESPN Radio New York show today. Uh, I'm throwing our hat in the ring. Our collective hat."

(Simmons' friend) JackO: "Fantastic. He left it? Why, he just gave it up?"

Simmons: "I don't know. Details have not come out."

JackO: "There was some ugliness?"

Simmons: "Who knows? I had a reader email a month ago and say he was at a restaurant where Max and Mike Francesa were having dinner together."

JackO: "Really? Uh, oh. The new Mad Dog, do you think?"

Simmons: "Mike and the Max Dog?"

JackO: "Mike and Max. It works."

Simmons: "Mike and Max?"

JackO: "Got the alliteration down."

Simmons (with a Francesa accent): "We'll be back, 'Mike and Max,' after this. 'Mike and The Max,' maybe?"

JackO: "Yeah, but that's his first name, he can't become The Max."

Simmons: "Let's say, hypothetically, Francesa and Kellerman, does that show work, or not?"

JackO: "You know, I've only seen Max Kellerman on TV. I've never listened to his radio show, so I don't know what he's like. It might be a case of too many lead dogs trying to be there, you know."

Simmons: "It's like a Kobe-Shaq."

JackO: "I'm not sure how it would work. One guy's got to be the second banana and know his role."

Simmons: "2003 Kobe and Shaq, not 2000 Kobe and Shaq. It would be interesting. I could see the show being great for like three months and them like fighting to the death."

JackO: "If you've already been the star of your own show it's tough to go back now and be the supporting actor."

Simmons (with a Francesa accent): "Hey, Max, let me tell you something, you're in the big time now. This is my show. You are a second banana, my friend."

JackO (with a Francesa accent): "You know, you don't bring a knife to a gunfight."

Simmons (with a Francesa accent): "I'm Jordan, you're Pippen, got it?"

Simmons: "But that would be interesting. Keep an eye on that."

The restaurant story is pretty interesting, but I would be curious to know if it came before or after Kellerman was notified that his air time was being cut back.

A Kellerman/Simmons show would be phenomenal, but obviously that's not going to happen because Kellerman can't go back to ESPN and Simmons can't leave. Even though I imagine he was kidding, I'd probably listen to a Simmons/JackO show. I give it a try at the very least. Too bad it would never happen because 1050 would never bring in such a personality so closely associated with Boston into the New York market, even if Simmons had JackO to balance him out.

More Details On Kellerman's Departure Emerging

(h/t commenter Myth)

The Daily News is starting to fill in some of the blanks on the sudden departure of Max Kellerman from 1050 ESPN Radio (not in order of appearance):

There was major friction over the format of "The Max Kellerman Show." The format was in flux no matter the state of the show's ratings. A partner (Brian Kenny) was added but left. Other parts of Kellerman's studio crew were shuffled or jettisoned. Sources said Kellerman was particularly angered when management dumped his producer Robin Lundberg.

Kellerman had brought Lundberg along with him as an intern at Around the Horn, to a Producer on I, Max on Fox and most recently to be his producer on 1050. Lundberg provided hilarious on-air quips and one-liners, but also seemed quite competent in his role as producer, at least from a listener's perspective.

"Max wasn't happy when the show was cut back (an hour)," [1050 Executive Tim] McCarthy said. "He wanted to do other things and we just obliged him. We could have held him (to the contract) but I've never worked that way. It doesn't make sense to do that. It's not fair to Max, not fair to the other people here, not fair to our listeners."

It's sort of a dick move on Kellerman's part to force his way out, but he had already worked his was up from a two hour to a three hour slot, and saw his on-air time being cut back by the person he was brought into replace.

It was discussed in the comments of the previous post, and by Simon and myself over email, but this is worth bringing forward.

Cowherd's show has no place in New York City.

He is extremely College Football centric, which most New Yorkers (especially people native to the area) have minimal interest in. He knows next to nothing about baseball, which FJM expertly (and hilariously) took him to task for, once upon a time.

The reason Kellerman was popular here was not only because he had a completely unique perspective, it was because that perspective was highly localized. Max literally proclaimed New York City as "the center of the known Universe" and ran his show accordingly. He doted on the Yankees, Giants and Knicks, but also covered the Mets and Jets before looking out to the rest of the sports world. Cowherd isn't going to devote 1/100th of the time Max did to NY teams.

Industry sources said Kellerman's representative has already had a preliminary conversation with the FANdroids, but was told to return when he was not under contract to ESPN-1050.

Now, that's the case. When asked if there was any business going down with Kellerman, WFAN operations chief Mark Chernoff would only say: "We are looking for a partner for Mike. Mike wants a partner. If people are interested in talking to us we are interested in talking to them."

This just doesn't make sense to me. I'm not that excited to hear the two of them together. I don't like Francesa at all, and am not interested in listening to them shout each other down, Francesa with his "sauces" and Kellerman with his analytical perspective. It would take both of them toning down their style, which would make (2+2=3).

Why don't they tell Benigno & Roberts to take a hike, put Kellerman in the 10-1 slot, and steal all of Kellerman's listeners from 1050? I've sort of built my schedule around listening to the radio in the morning and then cranking down on work later in the day. Perhaps some of Kellerman's other loyal listeners have developed similar habits. I'm guessing they would be a whole lot more likely to tune the dial over to WFAN at 10:00AM, than listen to two hours of Brandon Tierney and an hour of Colin Cowherd, as opposed to waiting until 1:00 when Francesa comes on. If Max becomes Francesa's co-host, the worst part of my day is now the worst part of my day again.

Despite the fact that Michael Kay isn't all that well liked around New York City, Yankee fans can still tune in knowing that during the baseball season, he's probably going to be talking about their team. It wouldn't be total a no-brainer to listen to Francesa and Kellerman.

There's also the potential for Francesa to lose listeners because Kellerman tends to rub people, especially older people (who make up much of his listenership), the wrong way. Younger listeners are more likely to get his references to Wu-Tang and the Juggernaut (Bitch) and not necessarily mind his constantly self-congratulatory on-air presence.

WFAN, don't stack your talent to the roof in the one slot you have that's already popular. You must be hurting for the 18-34 year old male demographic in the earlier part of the day, and this is the perfect opportunity to attract some of that in a big way. I'm yours for the taking.

Breaking News: Mike Francesa Sh_t Himself

If you were listening Mike'd Up, you may have noticed that Mike Francesa took an unexpected break. They went to a commercial, and were about to come back from break when there was a pretty long silence. It was probably over a minute long, and only ended when they started replaying an interview with Jerry Reese that had taken place earlier in the show. When it ended, Rich Ackerman came on and said something to the effect of "Mike is feeling under the weather and has gone home. Maybe a touch of the flu".

I think we all know what that means.

/nods at the title

//looks back at you

///smirks

(h/t Cliff, as I do not listen to WFAN, but will gleefully accuse any of their hosts of shitting their pants)