The Deification Of Derek Jeter

Good morning, Fackers. It was a pretty decent weekend for the Yankees, after they left Toronto at least. Being one-hit by Roy Halladay was rather frustrating and getting blown out on Sunday was brutal in a very different, protracted sort of a way. Even the game that they won at the Rogers Centre was painful to watch, a nine inning, 6-4 game that somehow took 3:52 to complete.

Yesterday redeemed the weekend as we were treated to a great pitcher's duel in the first game and an offensive explosion in the second with the Yanks winning both. I had wondered about the decision to throw both Burnett and Sabathia in a double header as it figures to get one of them out of their typical rest pattern for their next start, but I think we'll all take the two wins now and worry about that later.

Increasingly, the topic of conversation turned towards Derek Jeter as the weekend pressed on. He picked up 5 hits on Saturday and Sunday and looked to chip away at Gehrig's record during the twin bill on Monday. The YES Network even put together an intro that played before each of the games of the doubleheader about his pursuit of the All-Time Yankee hits record saying he is "Forever identified as a champion; a hallmark of Yankee greatness" and has "the consistency of a metronome". They also set a new record for most presumptuous text poll ever during the night game which asked fans if they would rather witness Jeter's 3,000th hit, final game, number retiring or Hall of Fame induction. But Jeter went 0-8 so the quest will have to wait.

Look, every Yankee fan loves Derek Jeter, my generation especially. He came up when I was 11 years old, won the Rookie of the Year when I was 12 making him the perfect sports idol for kids around my age. When we're old and gray, we're going to still remember Jeter fondly because he'll be inexorably tied to our youth.

Maybe it's the contrarian in me, but I have trouble liking things that seemingly everyone else does. If you are a hardcore Yankees fan and someone asks you who your favorite player is, chances are, you'll at least try not to say Derek Jeter. Because he's everyone's favorite player. It's too obvious.

Even dummies like Wallace Matthews can appreciate what Jeter has done. What Matthews can't do, however, is write an even-handed column using "facts" or "relevant statistics" to explain how great Jeter is:

And yet, Jeter - unlike teammates Alex Rodriguez and Jason Giambi and Roger Clemens and Andy Pettitte, not to mention probably hundreds of others throughout both leagues - resisted the temptation to take advantage of what was encouraged by the Players Association and tacitly approved by Major League Baseball.

That took more strength than any of the juice monsters could ever imagine, or ever hope to muster up.

He never tried to be more than what he was, a contact hitter with an inside-out swing who was as happy to dunk one just over the head of the second baseman. He kept score not by the number of tainted home runs he could hit . . . but by the number of rings he could collect.

He's got the rings, four of them, and he's got the money. But most of all, he has his self-respect and the knowledge that his accomplishments are not beholden to an unscrupulous chemist, a rogue doctor, a failed police officer turned "personal trainer'' or some sleazy gym rat disguised as a clubhouse toadie.

Aside from being wrought with weak clichés and and the same bullshit every boring writer has always said re: Jeter's intangible winnerificness, it's incredibly unequivocal. You'd think that after so many players seemingly above speculation like Andy Pettitte, Rafael Palmero, Manny Ramirez and if you'll recall, A-Rod at one point, have been exposed for using steroids, Matthews might want to steer clear of unilaterally proclaiming his cleanliness. But Matthews thinks he can do that, because Jeter is just different.

Again maybe it's because I'm wired to go against the grain, but I don't like the milestone chases. The flashbulbs going off when he's still 3 hits away from Gehrig's mark don't make sense to me. I'm not a fan of the love Derek Jeter gets for being Derek Jeter®. I enjoy watching him more when the attention subsides and we don't have to incessantly talk about how great he is. Because talking about how much you're enjoying something makes it less enjoyable.

Like, No, SRSLY!1!!!

WTF?

Fans Compensated For Soggy Thursday

Yesterday was a rare Thursday in the New York City area. There were two quality sporting events taking place during the day, one at Yankee Stadium and the other at Bethpage State Park Pond out on Long Island. A steady rain drowned the area, leaving both the Stadium and the course, as Stuart Appleby said, "Wetter then[sic] an otter's pocket."

Golf can typically be played in the rain so as long as there isn't any lightining, and the course doesn't become inundated with casual water. It typically has a slightly higher tolerance to precipitation than baseball does, but yesterday that was not the case. Play at Bethpage was suspended only 15 minutes after ESPN's TV coverage of the event began. The USGA thought they saw a window where play could resume around 1:30PM, but like the Yankees' false alarm at 4:00, that never came to fruition. Play was never resumed.

The Yankees, on the other hand, did manage to get their game in. After the third longest rain delay in MLB history, the tarp was removed to make way for an extremely frustrating experience for the fans who did wait out the storm. There weren't many viable options. To their credit, the Yankees did try to make it up to their fans who stuck it out by clearing the upper deck and allowing fans to sit in the Main and Field Levels. Even better, the Yanks are accepting any tickets from last night, regardless if they were used to get in the Stadium, in exchange for another non-premium game any time this year or next.

The Yankees had it much easier than the USGA, though. The staff couldn't just tarp the greens at Bethpage, and they weren't able to build a perfect drainage system directly underneath the entire course just last year. The USGA could have tried to give away free tickets to future Opens, but the Tournament won't be returning to the area until at least 2016, if not longer. In addition, they would be losing a potential 1/4 of the gate revenue for that year, as opposed to the Yanks giving up 1/81. Furthermore, tickets to golf events, the U.S. Open included, are sold by the day, not the round, so they couldn't give away free passes for the later days without dealing with serious over-crowding issues.

After fielding what must have been an incredible influx of complaints, the USGA just announced that they would be accepting tickets from Thursday's washout to the likely Monday session. Unfortunatley for those who purchased tickets for Sunday, thinking it would be the deciding round get indirectly screwed by the weather also. The upside is there should be a healthy supply of available tickets on the secondary market. So if you can get Monday off from work, it might be the only chance you'll have to see an affordbale U.S. Open for a reasonable price, on a course that is at less than full capacity.

"Henry & Me"

A couple Yankees are contributing to an animated film called "Henry & Me". The title character turns out to be (SPOLIER ALERT!) Lou Gehrig and will be portrayed by Richard Gere.

Since it's a children's book, everyone has predictably altrustic motives. Here is the author of the book the movie is based upon:

"We can give the innocence of the game back to the children," Negron said. "Goodbye steroids, hello grassroots."

Which sounds great, right?

But A-Rod is in the movie. You'd think that if you were really trying to say "goodbye steroids" or whatever, you might not want to include an admitted steroid user in the fucking cast. But then they probably wouldn't get Newsday to write a story about the movie with A-Rod's part as the lede, would they?

It was George Steinbrenner who gave Negron a job as a Yankees batboy in the 1970s, after The Boss caught Negron spray-painting the team logo on the old Yankee Stadium.

"This is a tribute to George Steinbrenner, and his passion for all of the young kids in the country," Negron said.

It's a shame he's not alive to see it.

Jim Baumbach Needs To Work On His Columns

That is the title of a column written by Newsday's Jim Baumbach. With Bruney poised to return from the DL shortly, perhaps you would interpret that to mean that he literally needs to work on his pitching motion, which he probably does. It does not.

Bruney needs to work on his delivery
Jim Baumbach
10:13 PM EDT, June 14, 2009

The funniest part about that quote, of course, is that Brian Bruney started this war with Francisco Rodriguez by doing the exact opposite.

What quote, Jim? It's the first sentence of the article and I'm already lost. Do you mean the headline? Because that's neither a "quote", nor "funny". What would be the "exact opposite" of working on one's delivery? Was Bruney was practicing his receiving?

So while Bruney respects the Mets closer for going shoulder to shoulder with him in the outfield during batting practice and yelling at him, perhaps the real question here is this:

Does Brian Bruney respect Brian Bruney?

What is/are the other question(s) you are alluding to which necessitate you to refer to your question as the "real" one? My question is actually this: Why did you insist on typing out Brian Bruney the second time instead of just saying "himself"?

Whether you agree with Bruney that K-Rod's celebrations are "embarrassing" and a "tired act," as Bruney told reporters after his rehab appearance in Trenton on Saturday, is not the point. The fact remains, Bruney's verbal attack was completely unprovoked and downright unnecessary.

I agree with this in principle, but I never heard such faux media outrage when other players were attacking Joba's fistpumping. Joba was destroying the integrity of the game with his unsportsmanlike showmanship, but any commentary on K-Rod's histrionics are "downright unnecessary"?

Hey, I'm all for a war of words through the media, because let's face it, on this topic, I'm 100 percent biased. If a Yankee wants to rip another Met, or vice versa, I have my recorder ready.

We know, Jim. You are ready to mail in a half-assed column on a "war of words" in a tenth of a second, because it keeps you from having to write about anything insightful. And I'm more than willing to do a line by line critique of it because it's easier than coming up with original material, so we are on the same side.

But you always must look at the person who's doing the criticizing, and take that into consideration, as well. If Mariano Rivera, Dennis Eckersley or, heck, John Franco, even, said those same words, then wow!

Way to undermine the importance of your entire article.

But Bruney? Try staying off the disabled list for 62 straight days before you start questioning the on-field behavior of the guy who set the major-league single-season record with 62 saves.

If you didn't rely entirely on a trite numeric device, you would have a point here. Bruney avoided the DL for well over 62 straight days in 2007. That's not really saying much, aside from the fact that Baumbach's original 62 days/62 saves set up was lazy and stupid.

At least he realized he made a mistake, admitted as much after Sunday's game and also didn't escalate matters when K-Rod went after him during batting practice.

For those keeping score at home, this is the 8th paragraph of the column and none have been over two sentences long.

Should Rodriguez have simply responded, "Who's Brian Bruney?" and leave it at that? You can make that case, sure. But I don't have a problem with him going on the offensive.

Let me see if I understand you correctly, Jim. Brian Bruney's verbal attack (which you didn't disagree with) was unnecessary, but K-Rod excaserbating the situation by actually confronting him in the outfield over it and having to be physically restrained by a teammate, that you agree with? Gotcha.

From the video, Rodriguez clearly let Bruney have it - verbally, not physically - before being ushered away by teammate Mike Pelfrey.

And Bruney, to his credit, stood there and accepted it, rather than open his mouth and say something else stupid. "He had some things he had to say," Bruney said, "and I'll leave it at that."

Please watch the video again, Jim. Bruney did not just stand there an accept it. Words were exchanged from both sides.

Hours later, both players said their tiff was over, and rightfully so.

This is over when Jim Baumbach says it's over.

As Mets infielder Alex Cora correctly pointed out, it's not like either pitcher will get a chance to drill the other with a pitch.

"They're two relievers," Cora said. "What are they going to do?"

Yell at each other in the outfield during BP?

After the first installment of Subway Series games, we've learned a few things about these teams. Luis Castillo should use two hands on pop-ups. The Yankees can't hit unknowns but do just fine against Cy Young Award winners. And Bruney really should start thinking before he talks.

We've learned a few things by reading this column. Any complaints about K-Rod's spastic victory celebrations are "downright unnecessary". Jim Baumbach looks forward to writing about trival bullshit.

And he loves one sentence paragraphs.

Remember, this is a guy who Saturday admitted he was lying when he told his bosses earlier this year his elbow felt good.

That doesn't indicate that he wasn't thinking before he spoke.

Admirable? Please.

Group these two one-words sentences into another paragraph? Please.

Days later, he was back on the DL and the Yankees were without their eighth-inning pitcher.

AHHHHHH! Maybe that was why he didn't want to tell them him elbow hurt in the first place, you dick. If he had told them eariler, they would have lost their eighth inning pitcher even sooner.

As K-Rod went looking for Bruney Sunday, he was asking teammates: "Is that him? Is that him?" Their one-sided chat lasted no more than a few seconds, and Bruney came away impressed.

"I heard he's a good dude," Bruney said. "I'm sure he is. It wasn't anything personal."

Okay, what? He "came away impressed" from K-Rod verbally assaulting him in the outfield?

Nothing personal? Ha! The question posed to Bruney was about the crazy end to Friday night's game, and he responded by offering this gem: "Couldn't have happened to a better guy on the mound, either. He's got a tired act."

Hmmm, I think you might have wanted to introduce the quote that sparked this entire feud a little earlier in the story, no?

Sunday, Bruney saw the Hunterdon County Democrat reporter who asked that question, and sarcastically thanked him for creating the stir.

Later, he turned his ire to the reporters surrounding him.

"I think it is ridiculous," Bruney said, "that this is a big story."

Joke's on us, I guess, for lending any credibility to his words.

Yes. Yes it is Jim. But thank you for acknowledging as much at the very end of your 600 word column which ran after the entire scenario had already played out.

846 Words Too Many

This article by Wallace Matthews of Newsday was published on Saturday but for some reason it didn't show up in my Google Reader until this morning. I wish it never had. 

Why he thought it was necessary to spend 850 words wandering around the topic of poor attendance at Yankee Stadium and Citi Field is beyond me to begin with. To make matters worse, it's not like he gets right to the heart of the matter. He tiptoes around anything that could be considered "topical" or "relevant" like he's slowdancing with his mother and instead churns out paragraphs like the one below. 

So far, the Yankees are averaging 44,636 in their new crib, the Mets 38,806. If baseball is so popular in this town and Yankees and Mets games truly are must-see events, as both clubs insisted throughout the offseason, why aren't there 10,000 people milling around outside their ballparks every game night, trying to buy up every last ticket in the house, and the rest going home empty-handed and disappointed?

Well, since you asked... Ticket. Prices. TICKET PRICES. The price of admission, the cost of entry, door fees, gate charges. Call it whatever you want. Incredibly, Matthews does not mention pricing once in his column. Prices were set it a totally different economic climate that the one that exists now and since some of the seats were already sold, it's tough to go back and change them.

One of the reasons, of course, is simple and self-evident. It's the economy, stupid. 

Hmm... does that phrase sound familiar? I'm guessing that Jason's recent national exposure and resulting media tour had a little something to do with that, although Matthews would certainly never admit it. Those four words sum it up pretty nicely, though. So that's the end of the article, right...?

But in a metropolitan area that certainly has more than 83,442 people - the combined average attendance at both parks - wealthy enough to buy their way into these exclusive clubs dressed as ballparks, there has to be something more to it.

It's not the same 83,442 people showing up at the parks every night, you dummy. 

Does there have to be more to it? I'm pretty sure those last two points - ticket prices and the economy - pretty much cover it. But, okay, let's humor him. Tell us, Wallace. What is this incredible insight you have into the matter? What could be this mysterious X-factor keeping fans from coming to the park? It's not going to be some meaningless cliche, is it?

It just might be that the remarkably deep-pocketed, thick-skinned and resilient sports fans of this town finally have reached their limit.

Deep-pocketed? Remember eight seconds ago, when you said it was "about the economy, stupid"? Not every sports fan is deep-pocketed, especially not at the moment. And what does being "thick-skinned" or "resilient" have to do with attending a sporting event?

It never has been easy to be a fan, especially around here, where aside from the Yankees' transcendent five-year run in the late 1990s and the occasional Giants Super Bowl appearance, our teams have never given much return for what always has been a hefty investment.

You know, aside from 1971-1977, Led Zeppelin wasn't that great of a band, anyway. The Yankees made the playoffs for 13 straight fucking years and appeared in six World Series you ungrateful prick. It's been insanely easy to be a fan around here.

The Giants have won three Super Bowls in the last 23 seasons. Given that there are 32 teams in the salary-capped NFL, that's pretty amazing. The Mets had some bad stretches, but made a good run in the late 90's, have been competitive for the past four seasons and project to be good for quite a while. 

And what the fuck do you want from your "investment"? No one is making you buy tickets to the game. When I head up to the Stadium, I don't need a promise that the team is going to win a championship that year. I go because it's a fun time, the team is competitive and I enjoy watching sporting events in the venues in which they are played.

It's simply no longer worth it, no matter how good the team is or how deeply ingrained in your DNA the ritual of going to the ballpark on a summer night really is.

Attention baseball fans: Don't bother going to games anymore. Yankees vs. Red Sox battling for first place on a Friday night? Nope. Wallace Matthews says it's not worth it.

He ends the column with not one, but two one-sentence paragraphs. 

Even in a city this big, sooner or later, you run out of suckers.

Then the only suckers left are the teams themselves, and the people who run them.

Wallace Matthews might be a total fucking moron, but at least he's not a sucker!

K-Rod To Be Even More Obnoxious in 2009

From Shysterball, David Lennon of Newsday and 1050 ESPN Radio fame tells us that Francisco Rodriguez has been experimenting with some new ocular technology:

I wish I had a camera-phone because words don't really do this justice, but I've never seen a player wear blood-red contact lenses like the ones that Francisco Rodriguez sported for today's bullpen session.

Instead of wearing tinted sunglasses like most players, K-Rod had lenses in that are a deep scarlet, giving his eyes the reddish hue of a vampire. A number of local TV stations taped today's interview, so you might want to check out SNY, NY1 or FOX-5 tonight to see what I'm talking about.

"It helps with the glare," K-Rod said.

Frankie, not a good idea, man. Just a fair warning, I will mock you endlessly via screen grab if you go through with this. Opposing fans already hate you for your ridiculous histrionics and the Mets aren't that popular to begin with because of Jose Reyes and his similar displays.

They are going to look creepy when you are pitching, additionally offensive when you are celebrating like a jackass and downright hilarious when you are watching your team lose. Don't believe me? Just ask Kyle Vanden Bosch...