Friday Grab Bag

Look what some fackin' jokah sent to Derek Jeter. Bubble wrap. Because other Yankees have been getting injured. Ha, ha. Now if you'll excuse me, I have something to mail to David Ortiz.

The Yankees are likely skipping Andy Pettitte next time through the rotation just to make sure he has enough time to heal up, but it appears a DL stint won't be necessary. As Joe from RAB says, now Vazquez's recovery just got a little more important.

Mike at RAB has a look at David Robertson that differs a bit from Matt's this morning. It isn't just bad luck; he's missing his spots pretty badly too.

You know how it seems like Brett Gardner hardly swings at anything? We'll that's because he hardly does. The other side of the coin: he hits pretty much everything in the zone that he does offer at.

Someone is saying Robinson Cano isn't clutch. FETCH THE TAR AND FEATHERS!

Eno Sarris from Bloomberg Sports looks at just how lucky Phil Hughes has been this year.

The 2010 Yankee-Red Sox beat writer series kicks off today.

Rob Neyer takes a stab at defining all the eras in both Yankee and Red Sox history. Jason at IIATMS calls Neyer out for passing Donnie Baseball over. I can understand where Jason is coming from; every Yankee fan will remember those years as the Mattingly era. But I think Rob was trying to do Mattingly a favor by not slapping his name on the failures of those years. Bonus points to Jason for pointing out that Dave Winfield's decade as a Yankee is woefully under-appreciated by Yankee fans.

Also from Neyer, readers at ESPNNewYork and ESPNBoston voted on the all-time teams for both franchises. Rob Neyer Baseball then ran one thousand simulations of a best of seven series between the two squads, and chose one as being representative of the final results with the appropriate drama. You can start with Game One here, and follow on from there.

I can't wait to see Dustin Pedroia's laser show tonight. It would be even better if he wore one of these.

And they say baseball players are immature...

Here's a long lost profile of David Foster Wallace that ran in details magazine back in 1996 but hand't made it to the internet until now.

I wonder how that former flame-throwing, reptile-smuggling prospect did in his much-anticipated return to the mound last night.

Bill Baer of Crashburn Alley tries to diffuse some of the city-on-city hatred that characterizes rooting for sports teams. It's worth noting that he's from Philly and has a reason to.

Jonah Keri talks to Will Leitch about the Rays' hot start.

Does Steinbrenner really mean "stone burner"? That's what Pinto says.

AWW WTF, LT? In light of the most recent charges levied against Lawrence Taylor, former Giants reporter Ernie Palladino revisits the infamous incident that resulted in LT telling him, "you're the only guy I know who's crazier than me".

And now for some rather random videos:

This has been making the rounds but it's too unintentionally hilarious not to post here. From Rich Lederer at Baseball Analysts, this is what you get when the people that made Dazed & Confused set their sights on Wiffleball.

Via the esteemed Tommy Bennett, times are apparently pretty tough in Cleveland right now:

Via Neatorama, here is the best video of a former boxer enjoying a spot of tea you will see all day. And also, Tyson doesn't like Canolis? What. The. Fuck?

Via Bad Left Hook, today is the 5th anniversary of Corrales vs. Castillo and the most electrifying round of boxing ever captured on camera. RIP Chico.

YOUK GETS FACKIN' LAID THE FACK OUT!!!1!1!!

[I had to take a bunch of screen grabs and turn them into a movie file, so I apologize for the choppy quality.]

Quick thoughts in no particular order:

• For a guy that has been hit by 52 pitches in his career and hangs over the plate like he's drunk at a urinal, Youk sure takes getting hit pretty personally.
  
  
• You have to appreciate any baseball fight where the two combatants actually make contact with each other.
  
  
• I appreciate this one even more for obvious reasons.
  
  
• Youk really threw his helmet at Porcello? I mean, it's better than keeping your catcher's mask on like a certain pussy on the Red Sox I'm thinking of, but that's pretty weak.
  
  
• Porcello has his arms up and backs away like he wants nothing to do with the fight, but ends up tossing Youk anyway. Well done, sir. Nominee for the Fack Youk Hall of Fame? We shall see...

Enjoy your suspensions, gentlemen!

The Hook

We sort of left off on a sour note last night, but you had to be encouraged by the way the Yankees played. 

The star of the show was of course the Jobanatior, who needed only 88 pitches to get through seven innings. The only bump in the road was the third, in which he allowed only one run, despite issuing three walks and a hit. He shut down the threat by striking out one of the last guys in the league you'd want to see in that situation, Miguel Cabrera, on a diving 74MPH curveball down and away: 


 
 Doesn't get much better than that. And that's his third pitch. 

I Could Watch This 100 Times

Honestly, is there anything better than seeing an opposing batter jump out of the way on a big inside curve, only to have the pitch called a strike? Jose Veras gets one of those every once in a while because of his spastic motion, but Hughes just did it on stuff alone.