Game 71: Baby Snakes

The average age of the Arizona Diamondbacks' position players is 26.9. That's a half of a year less than the next two closest teams, the Pirates and the Marlins and two years younger than the league average. With a mean age of 30.3, the typical Yankees position player would have been out of high school before the average D-Back batter got their driver's license (in New York anyway).

The oldest regular stick on Arizona is first baseman Adam LaRoche, who is 30. In addition to the two notable younger brothers of well-known MLB players, Stephen Drew and Justin Upton, Mark Reynolds, Kelly Johnson, Chris Young, and Chris Synder are all regular players in their twenties. Geraldo Parra, who has stepped in to replace the recently-traded Connor Jackson, is just 23 years old as well and playing in his second year in the Bigs.

In nature, baby snakes typically hatch of out eggs, but rattlesnakes (including Diamondbacks) happen to give birth to live young - an apt metaphor for Arizona's offense. Despite their relative youth (or perhaps because of it) they've scored the third most runs in the National League, have hit the most homers, are second in slugging percentage and third in OPS.

Even with an offense that's plenty potent, the Diamondbacks still sit a staggering nine games back in the NL West. How is that possible? Partially because their offense numbers are inflated by their ballpark but mostly because of their horrible pitching staff.

Ian Kennedy, who landed in the desert by way of the trade that Curtis Granderson to the Yankees, has been their best starting pitcher so far, sporting an ERA of 3.60 after 15 starts. Brandon Webb injured his shoulder at the beginning of last year and hasn't been back since, but he can only be blamed for so much of the problem. Tonight's starter, Dan Haren, along with last night's, Rodrigo Lopez, and Edwin Jackson (who was also part of the Granderson deal) have ERA's above 4.50, but it really all comes down to the bullpen.

Their "closer", Chad Qualls, who recently lost his job to Aaron Heilman, is currently sporting an 8.87 ERA after blowing four saves in 16 chances and taking three additional losses beyond that. Don't worry, he's not injured, he just sucks. Of the 14 pitchers to throw in relief for them this year, only two have a positive ERA+: Heilman and Esmerling Vasquez. It's tough to win when you can't hold a lead.

So the Yankees failed on two fronts against Rodrigo Lopez last night, 1) not getting runs off of him and 2) not getting to the bullpen soon enough. Lopez had just 87 pitches heading into the 8th inning, and completed the frame on his 103rd. By the time a D-Backs' reliever got the ball, they had a seven run lead and need only to record three outs. I can understand bats going cold, but patience at the plate shouldn't. Perhaps they were just tired after having flown to Arizona and not gotten a day off and mentally checked out when A.J. Burnett got whacked around like a pinata. Perhaps they got a little more rest last night and are now ready to take care of business.

When they face Dan Haren at 9:40 this evening, the Bombers are going to have to either score some runs off of him, or work up his pitch count and get him out of the game early. And try to limit the baby snakes to less than 10 runs. That would also help.

(Baby sna-yay-kes),
Late at night is when they come out,
(Baby sna-yay-kes),
Sure you know what I'm talkin' about.

[Song notes: Baby Snakes is also the name of a really fucking weird clay-mation movie that Zappa made. Since the game doesn't start until 9:40, here are three parts of it. It's not the full 166 minute director's cut, but I don't think anyone would want to watch that anyway.]