Thursday, April 9, 2009

TEH SKY IS FALLIGN!1!!!!!!

I didn't follow the game on LoHud last night because I was writing our game recap, but luckily our resident IT Manager & Internet Researcher, Cliff did. He was kind enough to mine out some of the most hysterical overreactions to last night's game from the comment section for your viewing pleasure (everyone together: Thanks, Cliff!). I would love make fun of each of them individually, but I don't have time and there's really no point.

Without further adeiu, I present, in conjuction with LoHud Enterprises, A Fack Youk Production:

Game Two: Overreactions In Orioledom

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Matt April 8th, 2009 at 7:28 pm
I miss Jose Molina behind the plate. All the memories of Posada calling for a pitcher’s 3rd best pitch with runners on base and serving up extra base hits are rushing back.

KO April 8th, 2009 at 8:04 pm
leave it to the Yankees, with huge expectations and brand new stars, to come out flat against a last place team in their own division. so far these two games look like a reprint of 2008. they have absolutely no clue at the plate. no plan of action. way too many times already have they taken a fat pitch right down the middle on the 1st pitch or early in the count and they’re falling behind, then chasing. everyone seems like they are pressing already and a bunch of scrubs are whipping them…. Wang no more runs bro…

KO April 8th, 2009 at 8:29 pm
LOL GREGG ZAUN JUST MASHED A DOUBLE I AM OFFICIALLY TURNING IT OFF

Pat April 8th, 2009 at 8:37 pm
Wang is awful. He’s a #4 starter at best

Every Day Phil Coke April 8th, 2009 at 8:38 pm
The Hank watch is on. The Dave Eiland watch is on.

ZZ April 8th, 2009 at 8:38 pm
Awesome. Already destroying our bullpen only two games into the season.
Great job of Girardi not bringing a long man into the rotation.

Hank April 8th, 2009 at 8:40 pm
Great job not taking a long man Girardi. He’s fired by May.

Global Warming April 8th, 2009 at 8:42 pm
Where is the “these games don’t matter” crowd? When this team decides to show up let me know. Ridiculous.

ron April 8th, 2009 at 8:43 pm
same old bums….. no f….k..g balls…. they should line this team and just shoot them…..

ugh April 8th, 2009 at 8:43 pm
What a pathetic joke. It’s like this team enjoys embarassing themselves.

Dan April 8th, 2009 at 9:17 pm
Tex is a headcase. This is unacceptable.
Why can’t we ever acquire players with guts? We always go get players who have been losers on other teams.

7 UP April 8th, 2009 at 9:26 pm
Go acquire Matt Holliday and put him in CF
Trade Melky, Shelly Duncan, and Dan Giese to OAK for him. We cannot watch our season go down the drain because of this pathetic offense.

[Cliff Note: 1) Oakland just claimed Giese off waivers 2) Holliday would be a disaster in CF 3) I'm sure OAK would love a 32 year old minor league pitcher, a 29 year old minor league journeyman, and a fringe bench player who had a 68 OPS+ last year in exchange for the best available OF on the trade market]

Ryan April 8th, 2009 at 9:28 pm
Give Swisher the start at first tomorrow. Maybe being benched will piss Teixeira off a little, or at least keep his o-fer out of the 3 spot.

kelvin April 8th, 2009 at 9:33 pm
Tex will go 0-26 to start the season. Mark that down.

Carl April 8th, 2009 at 9:46 pm
Need to re-shape the lineupSwisher needs to play 1st, Melky in CF, Pena at SS, Molina at C. Get some spark into the lineup.

Edwards April 8th, 2009 at 10:28 pm
eerily similar to last year—unable to beat the bottom feeders of the league and play inconsistent baseball. Teixeria is NOT worth $180 million, he is not worthy of being the 3rd highest paid player in baseball.

RC 61 April 8th, 2009 at 10:32 pm
The problem is that Cashman didn’t get any players with fortitude. He should have signed proven winners like Lowe and Manny who are clutch and unfazed by pressure and know how to win. You think Lowe gives up 7 runs tonight??

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Aaaaand Scene.


For good measure, here is one voice of reason, from the most unlikely of places:

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ray (sox fan) April 8th, 2009 at 10:33 pm
Teixeria is NOT worth $180 million, he is not worthy of being the 3rd highest paid player in baseball.”

Hey, I’m a Sox fan, but even I have to ask how does one come up with this conclusion after a grand total of two games?

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Thank you, Ray. Stop by anytime.

4 comments:

  1. Mark hitting RBI doubles to the gap in the 9th extending a rally is going to kill us all year.

    Biggest bust ever, trade him to Boston for there 12 and 13 round picks next year.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Dood ok guy, here we go guy. OK, we trade like Phil Coke, Melky Cabrera, and Bruney right, to like da Cardnals for Alert Pujols, right? Dude, why haven't they done this yet, guy?


    ...at least I'm relieved that it's not only Boston where morons like this breed.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Err..Albert Pujols.

    Perhaps I should be more alert.

    ReplyDelete
  4. These are so funny to read now. Yeah, that Tex was a bust and a headcase. We would have been so much better without him!

    ReplyDelete