Miscellaneous Friday Linkaround

I've got a lot of browser windows open but don't have a specific post in mind. As a result, here is a collection of some of the better stuff to come across my Google Reader over the past day or so. This should get you through the afternoon.

Jeff Pearlman, weighing in on the Artie Lange-Joe Buck brouhaha:

That’s what the Lange-Buck collision fascinated me. It was the coming together of two disparate beings—one who sees bullshit in everything and takes joy in exposing it; the other who sees poetry in everything and takes joy in elongating it.

Men like Buck fancy themselves as oral symphonies. Men like Lange fancy themselves as oral rot. Men like Buck take their worlds very seriously. Men like Lange do not. Mike like Buck view humor through a very, very, very narrow prism—self-depreciation, but only to a very slight degree. Mike like Lange view humor without boundaries.

I think he nailed exactly why it was so captivating: You couldnt get two more polar opposites that the uptight holier than thou demeanor of Buck and the irreverant assclownery of Lange. I'd like to think we bring a little of both to the table.

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Can someone's defensive seasons really fluctuate this much? Or is it just an indication that the metrics are still extremely flawed? Neyer has some thoughts as well.

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Joel Sherman, on A-Rod and Phil Mickelson:

Someone enlighten me why the New York fans love Phil Mickelson, the Alex Rodriguez of golf, but don't like Alex Rodriguez, the Alex Rodriguez of baseball.

I'd love to. If Phil Mickelson played for a theoretcal New York golf franchise called the Longballs or something, people would hate him. It's easy to root for the underdog when the U.S. Open only comes around once in a while. New York fans have no ownership of Mickelson's failures. When he blows it on the final hole at Winged Foot and refers to himself as "an idiot", we can laugh as the lovable loser. When A-Rod strikes out to end the game, it offends the fans ina much more personal way, because his failures are projected directly on them.

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Remember Len Berman?

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Drew Magary's column in Penthouse regarding badassery (URL obviously NSFW, but the page isn't graphic):

There’s no official definition of badass in the Oxford English Dictionary. This is a pity, as badass is one of those universal ways of categorizing the American male species. Everyone employs the term, and its meaning is more or less collectively agreed upon. Like douche bag or asshole, the word badass instantly evokes a recognizable male archetype, one that is impervious to rocket-propelled grenades and enjoys banging waitresses while skydiving.

>8

Do they live up to every romanticized notion of what we think a dude should be? No, they don’t. Think about it. Would a badass ever sit at a desk? No. Badasses do not sit at desks. Badasses get up and do shit. Would a badass ever use a BlackBerry, typing away at those tiny fucking keys like a dipshit princess? No. A badass might use a regular cellphone, if only for angrily shouting instructions to people (“Dammit! There isn’t fucking time! The Russians have the package!”). But never a BlackBerry, that’s for sure.

The column reads a lot like his better Balls Deep columns from Deadspin, except he doesn't try to bring it back to sports. I'm sure some people like Drew for all the creative swearing and dick jokes, but even after to you peel all that back, he's always making connections and genuinely insightful observations on human nature.

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If you can't guess who these two pitchers by the end of the second paragraph, God help you...

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Tom Brady flipped his kayak in the Chaaahles and and had to be rescued by a woman.

When they got near the couple, they realized Brady was not in his kayak, but in the water. Leeds helped pull Brady into a motor boat.

"I actually asked him why he fell in," she said. "He said he was racing one of his friends. It was Tom, Giselle and his friend...so he was racing his friend."

Leeds asked him if she could take a picture with him. She said Tom said, "Of course, you saved my life. ... I talked with Giselle. We talked about how beautiful the weather it was," Leeds said.

And by "motor boat", I'm assuming that Tom Brady shoved his face in between her breasts when he was being rescued. And that Gisele... how deep! "Hey I just saved your husband from drowning...". "Yeah, it's beautiful out, isn't it?"

Fack Youk Exclusive: Phil Mickelson Still Left Handed

This morning, my friend Mike and I had a tee time for 10:12 on Bethpage Red. The forecast looked pretty bleak, but not willing to blow off the time and risk a no-show fee if the course wasn't closed, we worked our way out the Long Island Expressway through pretty thick traffic. We walked into the shop and were told that due to all the rain, the course was shut down for the day. It kind of sucked, but typically when you get rained out of a round of golf, you don't get to walk around the course where the U.S. Open is going to be played in less than two weeks.

It was still raining pretty hard, but Mike and I headed over towards the first tee on the Black Course. An archipelago of umbrellas were lined up along the tee box, and given how poor the weather was, we assumed there had to be something worth seeing.
On the tee was Phil Mickelson, his caddy Bones and short game guru Dave Pelz. Phil hit three tee balls, two of them perfect blasts down the center of the fairway, looked at Bones and said "Okay, that's enough. Let's go inside". The balls were just left sitting in the fairway. Phil wasn't going to be playing golf today either (at least for a little while).

That there is the 18th green of the Black course. If it looks like it's completely covered in a sheet of water, well, that's because it was.

I have plans to go out a practice day next week (Tuesday or Wednesday) and possibly a day of the tournament. If either of those happen I'll get back to you with some pictures and a definitive answer as to whether Vijay Singh is as much of a douchebag as everyone says.