Where Have You Gone Jung Bong?

With the exception of elite sluggers and starting pitchers, perhaps no breed of Major Leaguer has a longer shelf life than the left-handed reliever. Given the dearth of southpaw hurlers and the LaRussian match-game that's taken over in the past twenty years, we've seen several lefties hang on interminably.

So why then did the career of former Braves prospect and lefty pitcher Jung Bong - ahem - burn out at age 24 after parts of just three seasons in the Majors? Bong plays a central role in one of my favorite all time baseball anecdotes.

As the Mets' disastrous 2002 crashed and burned its way to the finish line, a September tabloid scandal broke, alleging widespread use of marijuana within the Mets organization, complete with a Newsday photo of Mets reliever Grant Roberts hitting a (non-Jung) bong. The Mets characteristically botched their public relations response. At the subsequent press conference manager Bobby Valentine, on his way out of a job, hilariously pantomimed a stoned baseball player trying to take an at bat. Lamentably, I can't find the video anywhere online.

A week later the Mets hosted their principal rivals, the Atlanta Braves, in a season ending series at Shea. In the season's final game, long after the Braves had clinched the NL East and with the Mets already having locked up last place, Bobby Cox managed a game that belied his curmudgeonly reputation.

Cox emptied his bench over the course of the game, using twenty four different players. In the top of the fifth, trailing just 2-1, the Braves pitcher Mike Remlinger was due to come to the plate. Cox decided to use a pinch hitter. With the rosters expanded for September, Cox had no shortage of options at his disposal, including star catcher Javy Lopez.

So who did Cox send up to pinch hit? Not a position player at all, but a relief pitcher who hadn't appeared in a Major League game in five months. To the snickers of many, pinch hitter Jung Bong was announced over the Shea Stadium public address system. Bong went down swinging to end the frame, and just to rub salt in the wound, Cox didn't even leave him in the game to pitch.

So in honor of Bobby V's acting, Bobby Cox' managing, Jung Bong's name, and the 2002 New York Mets' recreational practices, we'll play this one:

Don't Step On The Grass, Sam

Good morning Fackers. Willie Nelson has a new album coming out today, and I don't imagine it's coincidental that the Red Headed Stranger has his latest release dropping on this date.

In the same vein, I suppose Oaksterdam, home to the largest medical marijuana dispensary in the world, is as fitting a city as any for the Yankees to find themselves in today.

Back with baseball in a bit. Try to keep your munchies under control until then.

BCS Championship Game

So this should be my final college football post until the fall; but no promises on that. The BCS Championship Game is tonight, with Alabama taking on Texas from the Rose Bowl.

So which running back son of a former Super Bowl winner / convict will hoist the crystal football tonight? Alabama's Heisman Trophy winning Mark Ingram, son of former Giant receiver and current money laundering guest of the state of New York Mark Ingram Sr? Or Texas' Tre Newton, son of the former Cowboy lineman Nate, who was arrested twice in a five week span in 2001 while transporting a grand total of 388 pounds - or 53 pounds more than his playing weight - of marijuana?

Tune into to ABC at 8 to find out. I think the Crimson Tide is going to take it, and I don't think it's going to be particularly close.

Weed Is Good For You, Just Ask Santonio Holmes!

As you may recall, Santonio Holmes was arrested in late October:

Mr. Holmes did not have his driver's license but handed over his registration and insurance paperwork. Officers said they smelled marijuana in the SUV. Officer Kusenko asked Mr. Holmes if he had been smoking marijuana in the SUV that day.

"No," Mr. Holmes told officers, according to the affidavit, "but yesterday I was."

Police said Mr. Holmes told them he had marijuana in the vehicle. He pointed out two marijuana-filled cigars, known as "blunts," in a vehicle compartment. Officers recovered a third blunt from a pack of cigars in the center console.

That, my friends, is how you get arrested with some dignity. You hand over your stash, take your lumps and move on with your life. Not that I would know anything about that...

The fact that the NFL punishes people for smoking pot is so hypocritical and backwards its not even worth getting into. These guys have a life expectancy 20 years shorter than other American males, and its not because some of them occassionally take a toke of the green.

The Governor of Cully-fawn-ee-ah used to smoke back when he was Mr. Universe. He said it helped him get to sleep, the time when muscles repair themselves and become stronger. "That is not a drug. It's a leaf," Schwarzenegger told GQ. "My drug was pumping iron, trust me." It's actually not the leaf, it's the bud, but I like where his head is at.

NFL players beat the living hell out of their bodies on a daily basis and it's kind of retarded to say that they can take Percosets, Vicodin, and other insanely powerful painkillers we have probably have never even heard of, but can't roll up a dutch with their homies.

/Steps down from soapbox

Anyway, the Weeded Wonder was other-worldly last night. This catch in the 3rd quarter was downright dexterous (and the screen grab slightly trippy):

This one just barely went through his hands.

But not this one.

Santonio, you are the man, sir. And I didn't even have to mention this.