Game 24 Recap

In stark contrast to yesterday's miserable defeat, today's game was overflowing with awesome. Despite trotting out a lineup that contained Ramiro Pena and Marcus Thames and not Curtis Granderson, the Yanks plated twelve runs, six of them coming via the long ball. Robinson Cano, Nick Swisher and Brett Gardner all went yard and Gardner hit one into the freaking bleachers off of the left handed Mark Buehrle.

Phil Hughes had his best start of the year ERA-wise, throwing 7 shutout frames and allowing just 4 hits and one walk. A full 70% of his pitches were strikes and he retired 6 batters via the K. You know things are going your way when Marcus Thames makes a slick defensive play for you.

The White Sox didn't score until the ninth inning and according the WPA, Paul Konerko's three run shot off Mark Melancon changed their win expectancy from 0% to... zero percent. In fact, the Yanks were at 99% or above after Nick Swisher socked his two run shot in the sixth. A thriller it was not, but after the ugliness that we witnessed yesterday, this thorough trouncing was a cathartic experience.

The Yanks are back at it tomorrow night as the Orioles, fresh off a sweep of the Red Sox, come into town and Joe Girardi's BFF Jeremy Guthrie takes the hill.

A Hypothetical Ponderance - How Much For A Year Behind Bars?

This one comes to you from a follow-up post Jason at IIATM,S did about his new site "Vote For Manny". The original post suggested that people vote Manny Ramirez for the All-Star Game mostly to promote chaos and see what would happen if Manny did work his way into the top three vote-getters. I wholeheartedly support the movement, mainly because I'm in favor of anything that makes Bud Selig uncomfortable. Get out there and vote, friends. 

In under one day, the site got some serious publicity and with that came lots of people who took the name of the idea at face value and left a lot of stupid anonymous comments and probably some angry email in Jason's inbox. All of that caused Jason to put up this post Wednesday night, clarifying his intentions. (Of course, some people are still missing the point.) 

As so often happens, I found a really interesting nugget in Jason's post. Trying to frame the usage of PED's in over the years in baseball, he asks:

Here's my question: If you were promised $200 million once you were done serving a 1 year jail sentence, would you serve the time? Would you risk the shame and embarrassment for generational wealth?

This is an extreme example, obviously. For most players the question would have been closer to "several million dollars if there was a chance of being sent to prison for a year", but I like Jason's hypothetical better. 

How much money would you need in return for one year in prision?

Let's assume that it's a maximum security joint and you go in a week from now. There are no TVs. You have a roommate and it's not John Coffey. No conjugal visits. You are in with the regular inmate population, and they all think that you committed, say, armed robbery or whatever crime you choose. We've all heard about the terrible things that happen in jail and you get no guarantees on your safety and no special treatment. Odds are you will make it out alive, but there's no promises you do. 

You eat the slop they serve you. Your toilet is right in your cell. You have to listen to whatever inmates who are serving life sentences scream throughout the cell block to each other at night. You can't chisel your way our behind a Rita Hayworth poster and you don't have the Squirrelmaster to protect you. Michael Scofield isn't bailing you out of this one. You are locked up in the clink, behind bars for one full year, no getting out early for good behavior. 

How much would it take for you to trade in one year of your freedom and dignity? 

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I'll go first - For me, $200 million would be an absolute no brainer. Lock me up! But I think it's more interesting if you treat it like the Price is Right: You can't go over. Make your lowest offer and if it's too high, it doesn't get accepted. 

I'm going with twenty five million United States Dollars, after taxes. I'm 24 years old and single, so I don't have a family I would be pining to see on a daily basis when I was locked up. It would be like doing all the work you would ever have to do in your life in a one year span. Except instead of "work", you'd be reading books, doing a shitload of push-ups and trying to steer clear of dudes named "Roach" who could potentially shiv you in the courtyard.  

I took three one week intensive courses in college where you take the same class for 5 days from 9-5 and receive full three credits upon completion. Sure, listening to a professor drone on about fucking Discrete Probability for two three and a half hour sessions a day was mind numbing. However, every memory of those classses were blocked from my memory within about a week and during the following semester, I didnt have any classes before 10:30 and had every Friday off. 

Money can't buy you happiness, but it can certainly buy you freedom. $25 million bucks isn't that much money, when you consider that 11 guys on the Yankees are in the middle of deals with higher total values (and they get to play baseball, not go to jail). But even if you could get a 1% a year return on it, that's a $250,000 per annum, and you would be able to take advantage of it 24/7/365. Travel, write, golf, get a couple graduate degrees, take a badass baseball road trip, whatever. 

Your turn. 

5 x 81 = 405

I know lots of people were up in arms about the obstructed view bleacher seats at The New Yankee Stadium when they were still being sold for full price. Now they are $5, and I really can't think of a better value in all of sports, and possibly all of life.

Here is a short list of other things that cost $5:

1. Half of a shitty beer at the New Stadium
2. A pint of shitty light beer elsewhere in the city
3. Two slices at Freddie & Pepper's (one cheese and one white slice with broccoli, zucchini and ricotta on whole wheat crust or a buffalo chicken with cross-checked bleu cheese)
4. A foot-long sandwich from Subway
5. Two Olde English 40oz (paper bags included)
6. Roughly 12 cigarettes
7. A 10 block cab ride with tip (estimated)
8. A shoe shine (plus tip)
9. 2 1/2 subway rides
10. A small frozen yogurt at Pinkberry with three toppings
11. The Sunday NYT
12. One share of GE stock, 2 shares of GM, or 3 1/3 of CitiGroup
13. 2 pairs of socks at a street fair
14. One Titleist Pro-V1
15. A NYS Lottery Win For Life scratch-off
16. A program at the Saratoga Race Track
17. One pound of sirloin at Fairway
18. A shot of Jameson

I'd rather have a ticket to a Yankee game at the New Stadium than any three of those, regardless of how bad the view is. Well, depending on how the scratch-off turned out, I might have to take that plus two shots of Jameson.

Last year, our Saturday Package was about $330, for Tier Reserved Section 7 Row M. That put us between home and first, with a view of the whole field, but pretty far up there. Not exactly a location that was going to impress anyone, but there was a bathroom and a beer dispensary right at the entrance to our section. That's only 13 games, though.

Yes, the seats are obstructed view, but unlike the Old Stadium, you aren't sequestered like you are in a leper colony in out centerfield. You have access to the rest of the park, and although you can't take beers back to your seat, you can certainly drink them walking around.

It's basically a Standing Room Only ticket. Back when the Beacon Theater wasn't owned by MSG/Cablevision and diabolically corporatized, they used to have SRO tix for the mezzanine level. The sound was 100 times better than the balcony, and who cares if you don't have your own seat? Sitting down at a concert in not in my playbook.

Granted, standing for an entire baseball game would kind of suck, but if that picture above is anywhere near accurate you'll be able to see everything except left-center and over. I can live with that. Plus, you can always watch on the monitors on the side of the sports bar. It's better than your couch, right? Hell, you can just go in the sports bar.

After the initial rush of everyone wanting to get out to the Stadium for the first time, you are going to be able to spot some empties in the upper deck and park it there for a while too. And of course, I'll try to sneak into better seats than that and document the escapades for this here cyberblogsite.

I don't know how gestapo-like the security is going to be at The Structure That Mariano Rivera Erected, but the concourses are supposed to be more open and have better views of the field. I wouldn't mind crusing around, sipping on a really expensive beer (or ginger ale I spiked with my flask of Johnny Red) and taking in the different vantage points. I can understand if you wouldn't do it because are older or have kids, that sounds like a pretty fantastic deal to me.

Just to recap, you could (theoretically) get full season tickets for the New Yankee Stadium for $75 more than we paid for our Saturday package last year. If I wanted to wait on hold for an hour and then be told to go fuck myself, I'd look into this right now.

All I wanna know is... Who's coming with me?

Jan, thank you Jan!

[Sorry, but that abomination was the only version I could find. God, I don't know why the fuck that person felt the need to remix, edit and thereby bastardize such a brilliant cinematic moment, but I'll bet you anything Jim Bruer would like to stub his joint out in their eye]