A Good Day For An Off Night

Barring the occurrence of foul weather or some other act of God, the Yankees won't play on Thursday for the rest of the regular season. With the games coming in at even more sporadic intervals in the postseason, we are beginning to be weened off baseball, whether we like it or not. Fortunately, just as baseball season is winding down, football starts to gear up. Line drives are slowly supplanted by long drives, first innings by first downs, base hits by big hits, stolen bases by interceptions and pop ups by touchdowns.

Last year the advent of football season was a welcome relief because while the Yankees' season was in its final throes, the Giants were embarking on their first Super Bowl defense since I was in second grade. With the Yankees continuing to destroy everything in their path this year, it seems like football is here too soon.

Matt ushered in the College Football season a couple of weeks ago quite beautifully, but the pigskin doesn't grab my attention until the NFL schedule starts up. Today, Big Daddy Drew at Deadspin posted his first NFL Dick Joke Jambaroo of the year, a must read for any pro football fan.

I'm a baseball fan first, but I never sit in front of the TV on a Sunday and watch two or three games that the Yankees aren't playing in. Maybe it has something to do with the temperature outside or fantasy football or gambling, but I think all of those things speak to why football is more popular than baseball. It's inherently more compelling to the casual observer. Baseball might have more to offer to those who care to look deeper, but Football doesn't require that kind of commitment.

Tonight the ratings of the Steelers vs. Titans game will almost certainly squash those of all seven of the baseball games that are on, combined.

Way back in February, I made a hokey analogy equating baseball with friendship and football with love. I'd probably change a few things if I were to write the post again, but I think the point still remains. Football is electric and physical, baseball is cordial and cerebral.

It's probably a good thing that the Yankees season slows to a halt for tonight. We get to take a step back from baseball in general and Jetermania in particular.

If you're a football fan, enjoy the game. If you're a solely baseball fan, I guess you could watch the Mets? Either way, we'll be back tomorrow morning.

What's The Difference?

I have a question.

What's the difference between A-Rod's comments regarding Jose Reyes and Derek Jeter's in reference to David Wright?

A-Rod:

I wish (Reyes) was leading off on our team or playing on our team. That’s fun to watch.

Yes, he said he wished Reyes was playing for the Yankees, but listen to Jeter talk about Wright (emphasis mine):

The thing with him, I respect the way he handles himself in New York. I think he shows all the right leadership skills - he leads by example and he's not phony. What you see is what you get from him. It's not an image he's trying to portray; I think that's how he is as a person.

If that isn't a blatant shot aimed squarely at A-Fraud, I don't know what is. (Well, maybe this.)

Had you read the Jeter quote before right then? I hadn't before I dug them up in the Daily News today. Why wasn't there a massive public outcry? Which of those quotes would you rather have aimed at you? This is just personal preference, but last thing in the world I want to be called is phony.

PeteAbe, where were you on that one? When A-Rod made his Reyes comments this is what you said, "It’s truly amazing the fixes this guys gets himself into. It really is."

And here is what you said about Jeter's comments on Wright, "__________". (It didn't even make the blog.)

Listen, I've had as much fun as A-Rod's expense as anyone. This post was responsible for the biggest day in the history of our site (thanks in part to PeteAbe). But let's not kid ourselves into thinking that Derek Jeter has some bulletproof persona and incredible media savvy and A-Rod is just some bumbling buffoon who fucks up pretty much every time he opens his mouth. Actually, I'm okay with the second part of that.

But the self-fulfilling prophecy of Jeter's "public genius" is amazing. Beat writers and media types love Jeter because he's charming and straightforward and therefore they automatically give him credibility. He can get away with saying something almost exactly in line with what A-Rod says, and it gets buried at the end of a Daily News article, while everyone flogs A-Rod for taking shots at the Teflon SS. The funny thing is A-Rod probably just didn't chose his words well, but you can tell there was some angst and frustration behind what Jeter said.

The short answer to the question I posed at the top: The person who said it.

Until I started writing for this blog, I didn't realize the importance of who is actually saying something. We probably all have blog feeds with multiple authors and prefer one to another. If for some reason they posted a Christmas Ape post at KSK under Big Daddy Drew's name, I would probably think it was funnier, given my appreciation for Drew's past work.

Similarly, when Jeter opens his mouth, people expect him to say something uncontroversial and because of that, his quotes are presented as carefully calculated insights. A-Rod is no stranger to saying and doing inexplicable things, so when he says something asinine, everyone thinks to themselves, "I fucking knew it", right before they clobber him for it.

It's human nature. I don't mean to call out PeteAbe for not liking A-Rod because he's the best Yankee blogger we've got, and if any of us were in his position, we'd probably hate A-Rod's guts just as much or more.

Case in point:

Jeter says he admires the way both Pedroia and Youkilis play "every game like it's the last game they're going to play. You appreciate that."

I didn't hear anyone say: "ZOMG, did he just take a shot at the sometimes lackadaisical-looking Robinson Cano?!/?1!?/11!?1 He's no Captain."

Dr. Dre, would you please tell these mahfackers:

Thursdays Just Got A Whole Lot Less Cool

We here at Fack Youk make no secret of the fact that the name of of this rag tag outfit was inspired by Drew Magary's brilliant transcription of Bawston-speak onto the intertubes. During the NFL Season he writes the incomparable Thursday NFL Dick Joke Jambaroo, but I looked forward more to his offseason Balls Deep column, in which he seamlessly blended insights into life, sports, drinking and sex with hatred, profanity, and sarcasm. Back in June, he delivered a stirring address to the Graduating classes of '08:

You think you’re gonna make a difference? You got some nerve, asshole. You’re just part of another class going through the same routine as the class before you. You’re no different. You’re just as full of douchebags and shitheads as any other class. In fact, given the rising popularity of lacrosse, your class is probably even worse. The rest of us eventually had our dreams crushed by the cruel realities of the world. I see no reason not to burst your bubble right here and now. Heed these words, then fall in line like the rest of us.

Truly inspirational.

He also used that regular column to come up with some genuine insights into life, including when he explained why, selfishly, he was voting for Obama:

I’m voting for Barack Obama this fall. Now, I have lots of reasons to do it, all of them blatantly self-serving. Don’t like Obama? Feel like voting for McCain? Fine by me. I’m not interested in starting any sort of political flame war. But the main reason that I’m voting for Obama is because he offers something that McCain does not: an opportunity for me to “be a part” of a historic moment.

It’s an inescapable fact for both candidates that a black man winning the White House would be a far a greater milestone in American History than if another old-ass white guy were to keep the streak alive. The reason Obama can talk about change all the time without getting too specific is because he doesn’t have to get specific. He IS the change. The act of him winning, by itself, has a huge impact.

So there’s something immensely appealing to me about the prospect of living through that sort of moment. I was born in 1976. I have lived through exactly one seminal moment in American history, and that was 9/11. I would very much like something to counterbalance it. I’d like to bear witness to history and not feel ashamed for the odd kind of thrill it provides. I’m voting for the moment as much as I’m voting for the man.

Well, in yesterday's Jambaroo, the last of the NFL season, he announced that Balls Deep was no more.

Also, I regret to inform you that Balls Deep, the regular Thursday column I ran in place of the Jamboroo during the offseason, will not be returning. Much to Buzz Bissinger's relief.

Instead, I'll be continuing my editor at large duties here by popping in for random posts every so often. My hope is to litter the site with more Great Moments in Poop, polygraph tests, Nazi Shark picks, and poorly worded, profanity-filled rants. I believe I also owe the editor of this site a Cultural Oddsmaker column, so look for that, too.

Lastly, not that you needed the incentive, but I've joined Penthouse magazine as a new monthly columnist. Someone on Facebook told me they only masturbate to it for the articles. Me too!

It's a sad day to be an occasionally vulgar sports blogger. Good for Drew, Penthouse is the perfect forum for him, and I hope that what he writes over there resembles all the fantastic stuff he has done for Deadspin over the years.

The first Balls Deep column I read completely blew my mind. I didn't know you could do THAT. There wasn't (and probably still isn't) another place to get random sapient sports-related insights very specific to the college/20's demographic presented without pretense, self consciousness or an editorial filter.

I can tell you that reading his stuff not only helped encourage me to build this little thing here, but to expand my range and talk about all sorts of stuff, and not be afraid to use words that might offend some people. But like all good things, this came to an end.

We still have KSK, and like he said above, he will still make surprise appearances at The 'Spin. But on Thursdays from early February to late August, there won't be something that will make me drop whatever I'm doing at work around 4:00 and head to my Google Reader.