Friday, February 12, 2010

Youk & The Sawx 4EVAAAR!!1!!1

Good morning Fackers. Some things just seem destined to be together. Peanut butter and jelly; gin and tonic; douchebags and Porsches; hipsters and black-rimmed glasses; A-Rod and Madonnna Kate Hudson Cameron Diaz; psychedelic drugs and the music of the Disco Biscuits; Kevin Youkilis and the Boston Red Sox.

According to NESN, the first part of that last pairing would like that partnership to span his whole career (h/t BBTF):
Kevin Youkilis' passionate play has led Red Sox fans to embrace the infielder as a true Bostonian. Youkilis has embraced the local fans as well.
Like that time he was absolutely fackin' dawnminating at Daisy Buchannan's!
According to the Boston Herald, Youkilis would like to retire as a member of the Red Sox. "I see myself, if everything goes well, retiring as a member of the Red Sox," Youkilis told the Herald. "That's my goal. I want to finish my career with the Red Sox, and that's not something that a lot of players do."
"If everything goes well" is a pretty big assumption. As players' careers wind down and their skill sets erode, they often have a different perception of how useful they are to their team than the organization does. Under the control of Theo Epstein, the Sox have been quick to cast of guys like Nomar, Johnny Damon and most recently Jason Bay if they had concerns about their long term viability. They are a lot less sentimental than most teams when it comes to retaining talent.

Thus far though, Youk's actions seem to indicate that he likes being in Boston and doesn't care that much about the money. He opted for long term stability over the allure of a big free agent contract and signed a pretty team-friendly extension that takes him through the 2012 season with a $13M club option for 2013. At that point he'll be 33 years old and it's unlikely he'll have a big enough payday on the open market to tempt him to leave.
The two-time All-Star says Boston is unlike any other place. "It's a cool town," Youkilis told the Herald. "It's a cool city. I don't want to knock any city when I say this, but there's a lot of cool stuff about Boston. And not just the city. You can get in your car and drive to Vermont, and that's a whole other world.
State. It's a whole 'nother state. A state a lot like Massachusetts but with fewer people and more mountains, cows, maple syrup and hippies.
The 30-year-old has plenty of major league seasons ahead of him. If Youkilis' enthusiastic play continues, he should always have a place on the Red Sox roster and in the hearts of Red Sox fans.

In all non-Boston-accented seriousness, it would greatly behoove Youk to retire a Red Sock. He was drafted by the team, came up through the organization and obviously embodies the franchise perfectly (or else we wouldn't have named this blog after our hatred of him). If he finishes out his career in Boston, he's set for life with the franchise. And outside of the Yankees, the Sox are probably the best organization to be associated with in your retirement, provided you are interested in things like "making money for appearances" and "never having to buy a drink at a bar in a certain city again".


  1. Disco Biscuit Reference - Well played. One may have expected a Dead reference, or Phish even, but you go to the Biscuits. Nice.
    Lets go to the Fack Youk Checklist:
     Humorous writing – Check
     Knowledgeable on Baseball including new metrics – Check
     Knowledge of abstract jam bands - check

  2. Louis - The Phish/Dead drug references are so played out at this point. And personally, I actually enjoy those two bands any time.

    One the other hand, I've been to a couple Biscuits shows and the only times I didn't have to to fight the urge to leave in the middle of the concert was when I was under the influence of controlled substances.

  3. seriously, go to youtube and search for dr kreepy. I swear its the youk stache and you'll see how he spends his off season!

  4. Love the Disco Biscuits. A couple years ago, I saw moe. in Illinois, and it brought me back to the great jam band scene that developed in the 1990s--Disco Biscuits, Ekoostik Hookah, moe., FB&C, Ominous Seapods, Percy Hill, Schleigho (which I saw at the Old Main Inn in Fredonia the night of El Duque's ALCS Game 4 gem in 1998). Good times.

    Great stuff as usual, Jay. Your Bostonian dialogue on Youkilis had me laughing out loud before class this morning. Also, totally agreed about Boston and how they treat their stars. Dewey Evans, Clemens (may have been into something there, though), Nomaaah.

  5. "I don't want to knock any city when I say this, but there's a lot of cool stuff about Boston."

    Ladies and gentlemen: the least offensive claim about a city ever made. I didn't know Youk had it in him.