Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Meet Slade Heathcott

Slade Heathcott. No, he's not a writer dispatched from the New Yorker to write a feature on the Peter Max gallery at the New Yankee Stadium. He's the 18 year old kid the Yanks just drafted out of Texas High School in Texarkana. That would be the state of Texas, in case you were wondering.

His first name is Zachary (as is shown on the first frame of the video here) but has apparently since changed to Slade for marketability purposes, or to set up a future career as a porn producer, should this baseball thing fall through. In related news, please refer to this blog as Fackington T. Youkaford from now forward.

The selection represents the first time since 2005 that the Yankees have selected a position player with their first selection and the first time they have selected an outfielder in the first round since 2001. With the Yankees picking at #29 this year, they had to take someone with "warts" and not the kind that Billy Beane famously talked about in Moneyball. Someone that other teams had passed on depsite obvioius talent and upside. Pinto compares him to Captain Kirk, but let's take a look around to see what else is being said.

The Good:

The Bad:
  • ACL surgery - He had his ACL repaired in November after a football injury but all accounts indicate that he has recovered completely and is running well.

  • Academic ineligibility - He was ruled ineligible for his high school team's playoff last month due to poor performance in school. Good thing he won't have to worry about pesky bullshit like "schoolwork" anymore! I know, it's probably not a great sign, but being a member of the National Honor Society isn't a prerequisite for MLB stardom. Just ask Manny Ramirez!

  • Attitude - One of the guys from Baseball Analysts was the one watching him in the Area Code games and thought he came across as cocky. If any of us were still in high school were staring down a future of professional athletics and millions of dollars, we might come across as arrogant as well.

  • Parent issues - Both of his parents are out of his life due to problems with drug abuse. This doesn't necessarily mean anything, but it's probably not a great sign. Hopefully he's got at least some sort of a support structure because those years coming up through the minors can be pretty bleak at times.
Well, Zachary Slade, welcome to the crew. But if we hear one more thing about you being a Red Sox fan, this might get ugly.


  1. I would have opted for Fackingyouk McShittyblog.

  2. I hope I'm wrong, but he sounds like a disaster waiting to happen in the NY Media.

  3. Yes, this is Slade's mother Kimberly and I am not sure where all this mess about me being out of his life and drugs is coming from , but I asure you I am in regular contact with my son and attend his games. I moved to another town recently due to getting remarried. I also have a 16 yr old and he does live with me. Slade stayed in TK to finish high school. I am a very devoted and loving mother whom has given her whole life to her kids. I don't touch drugs or cigerettes and never have, I apaul them. His father has had problems in the PAST due to a car accident. He is not in prison and is clean. However, I do appreciate you very much taking the time to write about my son. We are very proud parents of both our boys. They are great, great kids as anyone will tell you! Thank you...

  4. I work with slades grandparent and they are behind him 100% and are very proud of him. He is a very mature gentleman who had no choice but to grow up... Good Luck Slade keep your dream and God close to your heart

  5. Ive had the opportunity to meet this young man. Considering his personal life, he has a huge support system in the people that love him. Not all are blood relatives. Proud of you kid....your on your way.