Breaking News: We Are Three Weeks Into May

Dear MetLife & The Yankees,

If you are designate a Player of the Month, you might want to honor within a week or so of said month. That way, Brian Waldman won't have to stand next to a guy who is hitting .102/.262/.184 over the past three weeks. And please never use "Breaking News" in the subject line of one of your emails to me ever again unless something terrible has happened to everyone on the Red Sox or we signed Yu Darvish.

Sincerely,
Fack Youk