Thursday, January 22, 2009

ESPN Widget Headlines Compelling, Current [Part II]

Speaking of "all the shit ESPN gets from random assholes on these united internets", I present to you the second installment of ESPN's quest to make newspapers look up to the second:

In case you haven't heard... the Arizona Cardinals are going to the Super Bowl!

It's Thursday. If you have the ESPN widget on your homepage, and you don't know this, you are either illiterate or in a coma. Give me more "Reports" about Tony Romo "saying he'll be a more active leader" or Mark McGwire's brother saying his "brother used steroids"

Those "headlines" as they appear on the story page:
  • "Report: Romo looking ahead to '09" ~ Holy shit! He is? What about T.O., is he looking back to '08? Do you really need to rely on a source for this? "Report: Barack Obama looking ahead to '09".
  • "Book proposal implicates McGwire" ~ Nothing more credible than a book proposal. Can't think of any reasons thi$$$ guy might have to distort the truth. In related news, "Blog post implicates ESPN in non-widget-updating scandal".
On second thought... they might want to keep the headline about the Cardinals up there.

[Updated: 7:40] Theeeeeyy're listeeeeening.


  1. You have to keep the Cardinals on it. IT IS JUST SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HISTORIC!

  2. Stu's eye now this...the world wide leader is definitely sending a hit squad after us.

  3. With the Yankees Radio Network and YES Network not too far behind. 1050 is on our side, however.