Yankees Sign Randy Winn, Lose

According to Joel Sherman on Twitter, the Yankees have come to terms with Randy Winn for one year for just about the elusive $2M Brian Cashman was dangling in front perspective free agents.

Last year for the Giants, Winn was nothing short of dreadful at the plate, racking up a smooth .262/.318/.353. He's going to turn 36 this season so he's less likely than a younger player to rebound from such a poor effort.

Here is the first positive thing: he's a good defender. Winn put up some gaudy UZR totals in the corner outfield positions over the last few years so even if those are overstated, he's still likely to be quite a bit better than average.

Last year he was atrocious against left handed pitching. Like real atrocious. Which is fine because he's going to be platooning with Brett Gardner and facing primarily... wait. Fuck.

He could probably still play centerfield in a pinch, but so can Gardner and Jamie Hoffmann. What the Yankees needed was a bat and what they got a glove that's not any sort of an improvement over the two they already have.

Whatever, it's only $2M dollars - 1% of the payroll. But as Matt mentioned to me on GChat, with the power of hindsight, the Yankees could have had Jim Thome DH for $2.2M and then had enough to bring Johnny Damon back instead. Without having to go back in time, the Yanks could have just inked Reed Johnson who mashes lefties and is no defensive slouch himself. I don't really get it.

The best part about this? It will be at least a year until we have to read another article talking about Johnny Damon coming to the Yankees. That and the endless amount of puns we will be able to make using Winn's last name when he inevitably sucks.

Anyway, that just about rounds out the 2010 Yankees aside from the few bench spots that will be up for grabs in Spring Training. We'll probably have more on this tomorrow, but what do you Fackers think?

Back Off Asshole, He's Mine [Non-Sports]

[Ed Note: Since I'm not at work today, there are going to be a few non-sports posts. Hope you folks don't mind.]Does this guy know that Captain Chesley B. Sullenberger III is mine, or am I going to have to be a bitch about it?

Liking 60 Minutes is one of the things, (along with my affinities for scotch, golf, trout fishing and 70's music) that makes me a 55 year old trapped trapped in a 24 year old body. Well, last night, 60 Mins had an awesome several segment feature centering around Cap'n Sully and his retelling of the perfectly executed landing in the Hudson River.

[Ed. Note: I couldn't pause for a screen grab. Pretty craaaay-zaaay pic, right?]

The landing wasn't dumb luck. Sully showed incredible grace under fire, calculating every single thing that happened, even positioning the plane near some NY Waterway Ferries so as to close the gap between landing and response. It probably helped that he was previously an Accident Investigator and Saftey Lecturer.

I don't care how many cases you've studied or how many lectures you're given. Nothing can prepare you to look at this knowing you have to put a plane with 155 people on it down into a 30 something degree body of water adjacent to one of the most densely populated areas on the planet.


"Oh m'gosh y'all! We almost died!" I'll forgive her though, she's pretty hot for an older gal.

Those are not tears shown below. It's only a saline fluid that the masterminds at NASA who programmed this marvelous man-chine included just in case it was ever forced to show "emotion".



And now a special message from Andy Rooney:

Mrrraahh!

(scowls)

You know what would cut down on the number of plane crashes? NOT FLYING!

(face contorts with anger)

It seems to me that everyone nowadays is flying somewhere. Vacations, business trips, family reunions. Why can't they just do it how I did it back when I was young? Get your family, load up your horse and buggy, and try not to die of dysentery.

Why not drive one of those newfangled automobiles or take a train? I've taken many trains in my day. It's a good time to read the Saturday Evening Post or the Farmer's Almanac.

At least no one ever tried to drive a train into a building as a terrorist attack!


Bonus Oregon Trail GChat featuring a special guest appearance from Carmen Sandiego!!! Brendan, as always, has the strategery down pat.

Brendan: love me some dysentery

the key to that game was shooting buffalo and then trading it for dollars at the trading posts

1:30 PM

Brendan: why one would waste bullets on the squirrel and rabbits is beyond me.. seeing as they were hard as hell to kill, and gave you like 2lbs of meat

1:31 PM me: absolutely

Brendan: it really made no sense

me: remember how you had to ford the rivers too?

Brendan: yeah was just going to bring that up

it was toll road or you're getting in the water

Brendan: and to hell if i was paying a damned toll

1:32 PM communists

me: yeah who was fucking collecting tolls anyway?

it was the 1800s
me: if anyone it should have been the native americansBrendan: lol, true that

Brendan: you also had to have a shitty occupation to get the multiplier bonus at the end

1:34 PM another great memory was making up witty names for your fellow travelers... You had to stop for 3 days because Boobies has cholera

1:36 PM me: lol

http://classicgaming.gamespy.com/View.php?view=GameMuseum.Detail&id=266

1:37 PM if you scroll down there is a pic of a tombstone that says "Here lies Pepperony[sic] and cheese

1:41 PM Brendan: or where in the USA is carmen san diego

that was an epic game.. because once you won it wasn't over.. as you always could improve your rank

me: yeah loved that show too

Brendan: Rockefellas

1:42 PM me: "Alright, Gumshoes..."

yeah forgot about those fuckers

Brendan: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cuzc4jgwlT8

me: odd for a children's game show to have its own a capella group, but whatever

1:43 PM wow they are still milking it, huh?

Brendan: well that was in 2000

but hell I would

1:44 PM crazy and unexpected beatbox at the end of that clip

and i'm pretty sure he has his neck pierced