More Terrible Pedroia Ads

[Snarky comments and copious decontrsuctions omitted this time]









Bonus version with alternate ending!

"That's Dustin Pedroia Hitting!"

By now you have probably heard about the comments Jim Rice made about Zack Greinke sometime yesterday (which have since been pulled down). I believe the Chirs Littman from The Sporting Blog may have been the first on the case, Baseball Think Factory picked up Littman's post, Joe Posnanski threatened to write 20,000 words on the comments (and inadvertently crashed the site), Bob Harkins from Circling the Bases took Rice to task, I linked to them in our off night post, and Posnanski did write something about it, just not the aforementioned 20,000 word retort.

What is boils down to was that Rice said Greinke had "sporadic command", "didn't impress" him and "didn't seem dominant." Since Greinke is having an all-time great season in terms of ERA+, he had been drawing statistical comparisons to all-time great pitchers. Rice was having none of this, saying, instead of a prime Pedro Martinez, Roger Clemens, or Johan Santana, Greinke reminded him of a "righthanded Roger Moret".

You all remember ol' Rog', don't ya? He was the lanky left hander who spent parts of six seasons with the Red Sox starting in 1970. You know, the swing man with a career K/BB ratio of 1.20, who pitched over 100 innings in a season a whopping three times in his career and was out of baseball at age 28.

Anyway, the point of this post isn't to point out how stupid it is to judge a pitcher's dominance based on one start because JoePos already did that better than I possibly could. Once in a while Joba Chamberlain conjures up images of a young Roger Clemens and but other times you see Sidney Ponson. That's the nature of starting pitching. A 3.00 ERA equates to 2 runs over six innings. The trick is being effective over the long run.

The real reason I wrote this post is because even though I had already read what Rice wrote, I went back and clicked on the "Ask 14" website that the post originally came from. It was back up this morning and, just in time for the final regular season installment of the Red Sox and Yankees, I struck gold two posts down.

Okay, let's go over the assumptions you're asked to make while watching this commercial:

1. Dustin Pedroia works for a 6 year old girl. At a minor league baseball stadium.
   
   
2. Pedroia is totally cool with this arrangement.
   
   
3. On this particular day, she orders him to jump on a trampoline which appears to be situated down the first baseline of the field.
   

Now, for the action sequence!

• If you watch closely, Pedroia appears to materialize magically on the trampoline, an effect which, amazingly, someone had to specifically request and another person had to actually do, but serves absolutely no purpose in the context of the commercial other than to make it even less realistic.
  
  
• At first, no one is watching Dusty jumping around on said trampoline, but then right in the middle of one of his front flips (which almost certainly violate the terms of his contract) other people suddenly materialize, including other children and several adults.
  
  
• After the flips, someone in the crowd tosses him a glove and cheer wildly as he... wait for it... CATCHES THE BALL WHILE SIMULTANEOUSLY JUMPING ON A TRAMPOLINE. IMPOSSIBLE!
  
  
• And for his final trick/task for his six year old boss, lil' Dusty shows off his hitting prowess by making contact with a ball on a trampoline, which we are then lead to believe has left the park for a home run, and how conveniently, directly over a Sullivan Tire sign.

Sullivan Ti-ah Guy: That's Hall of Fame hitting!

Jim Rice: That's Dustin Pedroia hitting!

Sullivan Ti-ah Guy: When you-ah great at what you do, you can perfo-ahm well und-ah any cirah-cumstances! Thaht's what we've been doing fwah ovah fifty yeahs at Sullivan Ti-ah!

The funny part about this is how obviously contrived the connection they are trying to make is:

Dustin Pedroia is on a trampoline > Hitting baseballs on a trampoline takes a lot of skill > Getting into the Hall of Fame also takes a lot of skill > Jim Rice is in the Hall of Fame > Sullivan Tires can perform (sell tires?) "und-ah any cirah-cumstances!"

What are these circumstances? If there is a robbery taking place in the store, can you still mount and balance my new Michelins? If the location is flooded, will they still fix my flat?

Wow. Even if you leave all the other ridiculous shit the way it is, the Sullivan guy could just tell you that they sell tires that perform under any circumstances (snow tires, all-weather, racing, etc.) not they Sullivan Tire itself performs "under any circumstances" which doesn't make any sense at all.

I think people are so used to commercials, they usually just accept them at face value. They come at you during a barrage of other shitty marketing communications, most of which you either don't even acknowledge or simply dismiss offhand. But realize that every detail that goes into a 30 second TV spot has to be thought out and probably discussed with multiple other people. Which makes the above all the more laughable. If Sullivan Tire hired an outside agency to do this spot, they should really try to get some of their money back. If they did it themselves, they should probably think about hiring an outside agency.

And no discussion of terrible local advertising featuring a Red Sox player would be complete without this masterpiece from Route 125 Auto. I could write another 500 word break down of this marketing abomination but I think I'll pass.

A Cup Of Coffee And A Link Dump

Top of the morning to you, Fackers. I'm going to be tied up for the early part of the day, so I thought I'd brew up some links to keep you busy while I'm gone.

According to Buster Onley, the Yankees put a waiver claim on Brad Penny earlier this month and have interest in signing him now that he's asked for and recieved his release from the Red Sox. Hey, he's better than Sergio Mitre, right...?

Brendan as IIATM,S looks at Josh Willingham as a potential offseason trade target for the Yanks. He's having a a great year, but isn't the kind of player the Nationals are likely very attached to considering he's 31 and about to hit arbitration.

Great post from Mike at RAB looking at Joba's pitch selection, namely his reliance on the slider. When he first came up, hitters simply couldn't identify it, especially when contrasted with his 98MPH fastball. Now with his velocity sitting considerably lower and full scouting reports on his tendencies, the pitch is loosing its effectiveness.

With Derek Jeter climbing in the Yankee record books in seemingly every category, Jonah Keri takes a look at where he ranks among the greatest Pinstripers of all time.

Mr. Cashman makes life a little more difficult for the Red Sox. Matthew Pouliot looks at how it might harm the career of the player involved.

Did you know THIS is what Kate Smith looked like? If you were part of our live chat yesterday you did.

Another voice of reason from WEEI. However, I think Jim Rice could carry Derek Jeter's jock... very intimidatingly.

Last night, Nick Green did his best Nick Swisher impression.

So now it appears that the list of positive tests in 2003 never should have been seized the the government in the first place, which means that the names on it never would have been leaked. Our pal Craig reminds us that calling for all of the names on the list to come out is a fool's errand, and thinks that the names may continue to leak.

Lar from wezen-ball takes a deep (as in cavernously deep) look at walk-off wins over at The Baseball Analysts.

John Dewan takes a second shot at the ability of first basemen to scoop throws.

Another tough break for the Mets...

A list of the 12 best Mets quotes of all time. Amazingly, "He has lobby myself" didn't make the cut.

It's football, but take a look at the scrap heap.

More football... Another beat writer bites the dust. Damn you Gannett! /shakes fist at the sky.

A poisonous pitcher plant that eats rats? Bad. Ass. Now when are they going to start growing some in the NYC Subways?

More science... Are we descended from aquatic apes? Carl Everett certainly doesn't think so.

That's it for now. Matt will have some thoughts on Phil Coke shortly and we have some bigger stuff coming this afternoon, hopefully. Catch you later on.

Off Night Links: Electric Relaxation

After a weekend series packed with high-scoring, long-lasting baseball games, the Yankees get a break today. The schedule makers were kind to the Bombers, cushioning the blow of a 10 game road trip punctuated by a trip to Fenway by bookending that series with two off-days. Per usual, since there is no electrifying Yankees action, we have compiled some links and suggestions of things to watch on this slow Monday evening.

The Little League World Series is on ESPN2 tonight, and the team from Staten Island takes on the crew from the ironically named Urbandale, Iowa at 8PM. The LLWS isn't really my cup of tea, but you can be sure Dustin Pedrioa's brother will be watching intently, scouting for talent.

YES is showing the Game 3 of the 1999 World Series episode of Yankees Classics if you prefer to live in the past.

There is also some preseason football, with the Jets facing off against the Ravens on ESPN. Now that Brett Favre has moved on to some purpler pastures, the Jets have been relieved of all of the distractions associated with him and are left to do what they do best: play mediocre and uninteresting football.

Sorry, Jets fans. For you and others that hate the Giants, here you go.

Plaxico Burress has agreed to an interview with E:60, portions of which will be shown on SportsCenter tonight. (/yawns)

In a battle of Sox, Boston hosts Chicago as they look to widen their lead over the Rangers in the Wild Card standings.

Why does Jim Rice hate America? (h/t BBTF)

Maybe we should ask Peter King. And his baggy shorts.

This can't be true, can it? Derek Jeter would never eat with A-Rod. (h/t to reader Eric Miller)

Via MLBTR, here is the latest on Johnny Damon's, Andy Pettitte's and Hideki Matsui's outlooks for next season.

This may come as a shock to you, but Mariano Rivera actually is aging.

Do the Yanks rely too much on the long ball? Joel Sherman thinks so. He also adds later in the column that the Yanks can finish 17-21 and still win 95 games. Wow.

Main Entry: ten·u·ous
Pronunciation: \ˈten-yə-wəs, -yü-əs\
Function: adjective
Defintion: (3) Having little substance or strength : flimsy, weak. A tenuous connection.

Youk's got a new nickname!

This is probably the most accurate thing I've read all day. (via Joe P)

That's all I've got for tonight, Fackers. Feel free to drop your own in the comments, and we'll see you in the morning.

Riches To Rags

Yesterday we looked back at Andy Hawkins' no-hitter that wasn't. As promised, today we'll look back on a more pleasant no-no. Saturday marks the twentysixth anniversary of Dave Righetti's Indepence Day no-hitter against the Red Sox. Since we'll all be off enjoying the holiday weekend on the actual anniversary, we'll revisit the game today.

Righetti was acquired in November of 1978 as part of a ten player trade that saw the Yankees send their former closer, Sparky Lyle, to the Texas Rangers. Rags made his Major League debut as a September call-up in 1979, spent all of 1980 back in AAA, then returned in 1981 to capture the Rookie of the Year award, going 8-4 with a 1.07 WHIP and leading the league in ERA, ERA+, H/9, HR/9, and K/9. In 1982 he fell back to earth a bit, serving a brief stint in the minors and going 11-10 with an ERA just better than league average (105 ERA+). He once again led the AL in K/9, but also led the league in BB.

The July 4, 1983 game fell on a Monday, a blistering 94 degree day, the final day of play before the All-Star break. Righetti would later admit he was steamed at not being selected, and he had a good candidacy, entering his start that day at 9-3 with a 3.53 ERA and a 1.21 WHIP while holding opponents to a .248/.294/.340 batting line.

Righetti fanned Jerry Remy and Wade Boggs to begin the game, then promptly lost the perfecto by walking Jim Rice. He completed the first by whiffing Tony Armas. Rags was perfect in the second, third, and fourth, striking out two in both the second and third. He broke his string of eleven straight batters retired by issuing a one out walk to Reid Nichols in the fifth, but then promptly picked him off attempting to steal.

The Yankees supplied Righetti with some offense in the bottom of the fifth, as an Andre Robertson single scored Steve Kemp for the game's first run. Rags worked a perfect sixth, walked Rice for a second time with one out in the seventh, the erased him on a 6-4-3 double play.

After a 1-2-3 eighth, Righetti walked light-hitting catcher Jeff Newman to lead off the ninth. Newman was replaced by Glenn Hoffman on a fielder's choice, narrowly avoiding a double play. A Remy groundout moved Hoffman to second. With just one out to go, Wade Boggs stepped to the plate. Boggs entered play that day hitting .361, the same mark as his end of season average, which would win the Major League batting crown by a whopping twentytwo points. Righetti caught him looking in the first, then coaxed flyouts to center in the fourth and seventh. After peppering Boggs with fastballs to the run the count to 2-2, Rags came back with a slider. Fooled, Boggs flailed feebly at it, giving Righetti his ninth K and the first Yankee no-hitter since Don Larsen's perfect game in the 1956 World Series.

Righetti finished 1983 at 14-8 with 1.20 WHIP and 3.44 ERA (112 ERA+). Not yet 25 at season's end, Righetti was 33-23 with 117 ERA+ in his young career, projecting as a solid number two starter if not a future ace. But incumbent Yankee closer Goose Gossage departed the team after that 1983 season, and 1984 saw Righetti as the new closer. He would never start another game for the Yankees.

He spent the next seven seasons at the back of the Yankee bullpen, never saving less than 25 games in a season, including a then Major League record 46 in 1986. While Righetti was a good closer, he was never quite great. Because of things like small sample sizes and inherited runners, I prefer to use Fielding Independent Pitching (FIP) to evaluate relievers. In three of his first four years as Yankee closer ('84, '85, '87), Righetti was bettered or equaled FIP by other Yankee relievers (Jay Howell, Brian Fisher, and Tim Stoddard respectively).

Meanwhile, the Yankee teams of those years were perpetual bridesmaids and notoriously short on starting pitching. In 1985, the Yankees finished in second place, just two games behind the Blue Jays. Despite posting an ERA better than league average, Yankee starters' FIP was far worse than league average. Righetti on the other hand was 1.25 runs better than the league in FIP. His numbers may have suffered somewhat from the additional exposure of pitching in the rotation, but he assuredly would have performed better than starters like Ed Whitson. We'll never know if his presence in the rotation could have made up those two games.

In 1988, the Yankees finished 3.5 games out of first. Once again, Yankee starters were worse than the league average while Righetti out performed the league by two thirds of a run. Again, there's no telling if Righetti in the rotation would have been enough to make up the 3.5 games and four teams between the Yankees and the division crown, but he certainly would have been a better option than Rick Rhoden, Rich Dotson, or 45 year-old Tommy John.

This weekend you're sure to hear about Righetti's no-hitter. You're also likely to hear the old Joba-to-the-bullpen argument or the newer and now more-popular Hughes to the eighth inning argument. When you do, think back to what it may have cost the Yankees the last time they relegated a potential front end starter to the back end of the pen.