In case you didn't hear earlier, longtime ESPN baseball analyst Peter Gammons will be leaving the network following the Winter Meetings (more on this later). As such, ESPN is already holding auditions for Gammons' replacement. First up is current ESPN NFL analyst Mark Schlereth. Fack Youk has received an exclusive transcript:
"Look. This is a BAD TRADE for the Arizona Diamondbacks. You DO NOT succeed in MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL without a bona fide left handed reliever in your bullpen. If I'm Josh Byrnes, I have to go out and GET MYSELF another LEFT HANDED relief specialist to replace MY SON Daniel Schlereth and his EIGHTEEN innings of relief work this year.
This kid is a BASEBALL PLAYER. And he throws STRAIGHT GAS. This kid goes out and BLOWS BATTERS AWAY. Look, the Diamondbacks finished LAST in the NATIONAL LEAGUE WEST last year, and they're not going to get any better by going out and trading young FIREBALLING FLAME THROWERS!
Schlereth is a hard hat, lunch pail kind of guy who is gonna go out and PUNCH BATTERS IN THE MOUTH when THE GAME IS ON THE LINE!"
Thanks Mark; we appreciate your insight. Don't quit your day job.
Speaking of day jobs I've been absolutely inundated at the office today. And it's hard to get any work done when Google Reader is handing 15 new "rumors" every five minutes. I'll be back later tonight with more thoughts on the Granderson deal.
(Photo courtesy of The Sports Hernia)