Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Nice Try Kyle

You remember Kyle Farnsworth, don't you? Farnsworthless. Relief pitcher. Never really offered much relief. Makes the late Jose Veras seem reliable. Inspiration for the "Anyone But Farnsworth" t-shirt. Guy that often showed up his teammates and/or manager. That guy.

Perhaps you'd remember him if you saw his name as it's usually posted in the box score: Farnsworth, BS

Well, Kyle is now in Kansas City and up to his old tricks. Namely being an extremely frustrating pitcher to watch. Joe Posnarski had a spot-on piece on Farnsworth last week.

But the latest news on Farnsworth is that he required four stitches in his non pitching hand yesterday after getting bit while breaking up a fight between his dogs. That sounds like the punch line to a Jeff Foxworthy joke. Farnsworth bites and his dogs do too.

Nice try Kyle, but just because David Cone suffered a bite from his mother's Jack Russell Terrier on his way to a twenty win season in 1998 doesn't mean that this will make you any less of a crappy pitcher. A dalmation can't change his spots and an inflammable relief pitcher can't help but blow saves.

Given his recent use and reading between the lines of manager Trey Hillman's quotes in the dog bite article gives me the impression that Krazy Kyle may have already worn out his welcome in KC. Which is too bad since, despite his track record, Farnsworth signed a two year, $9.25M contract this past off-season. $4M+ per year for a relief pitcher. A relief pitcher who isn't the closer. A relief pitcher who is Kyle Farnsworth.

Next time you hear some KC fan bellyaching about how they can't compete financially with the Yankees, point to Kyle Farnsworth's contract (or Jose Guillen's for that matter). Having limited resources is one thing, deploying them in an idiotic manner is quite another. As friend of Foxworthy Bill Engvall Ron White is given to say: you can't fix stupid.


  1. I think "you can't fix stupid" is Ron White's schtick

  2. You're right; I stand corrected.