Friday, January 9, 2009

The Most Painful Three Hours of My Life

Okay, I am sure there is going to be another wrap up tomorrow but I feel compelled to put my two cents in. Anyone that knows me knows that I am extremely critical of announcers. The job is not that hard, you have 40+ hours to come up with shit to talk about. Stop talking about the same shit and analyze the game. That being said, the moment I saw the clowns calling this game, I knew this was going to be legendary. I started by taking a few notes but as things got going (and much worse), I started getting pissed. See below (these notes are in real time, almost like a live blog, so they are not exact quotes):
  • 3 minutes into the game, the color commentator calls Sam Bradford, "Super Sam”…Um, how long have you been working on that one? There are 57 minutes left, let's hold off on the nicknames.
  • Explaining that OU will snap the ball within 25 seconds of the last play, 35 seconds roll by on the nifty OU Snap Clock and still no snap...

Note: Awful commentating begins part way through the 2nd quarter:

  • The Announcer is explaining to me that Tebow can’t run the ball because Oklahoma is doing well against the run…Now that is some insight!
  • OU is driving at the end of the half and the announcers feel compelled to explain the clock rules after every snap…Thanks pal! I get it, I have been watching college football for 20 years, there is no 2 minute warning and the clock stops after every 1st down.

Note: Should be 21-7 OU at halftime

  • 9:02 left in 3rd, Tebow runs for 1st down at midfield and tries to pump up the crowd and celebrate…God I hate him.
  • 3rd straight 3rd and long that Tebow runs the ball for a first down, OU dropped back but the announcers claim it is “power, desire and heart” that got the first down... I saw it is a terrible play call by the defensive coordinator.
  • Color guy is talking about Harvin’s “pipes” and “guns”…huh?
  • Here they go quoting Tebow’s awful press conference when he cries like a bitch... Please let Florida lose!
  • Showing video of said press conference.

Note: Never thought I would say this but why couldn’t Fox of had Buck and Aikman call this game?

  • OU guy hurts leg and ends up walking off the field, commentator says “It is a really good thing he got up under his own power, and walked off the field". You don’t say...
  • Tebow gets stopped on 3rd and 5... Where was the “power, desire and heart” on that play?
  • Color guy tries explaining why OU’s Brown has had a good season, “When you get carries, you are productive”. Unless you aren’t any good.
  • OU scores, color guy has nothing to say. Not surprising, considering he hasn’t shut the fuck up about Florida all night.
  • “Old Mo is not someone you date”…I’m lost.

Note: Chick in the Tostitios commercial is smoking.

  • Tebow thought a whistle was blown, “That could have been a whistle from the stands”. After listening to the replay, “There was definitely some sort of whistle, its hard to differentiate in the heat of battle”… Kellen Winslow?

Note: Announcers seem much more impressed with the play of Tebow than Florida’s defense that has held the best offense in the country to 14 points through 3.5 quarters.

  • OU’s Fucked- “SUPERMAN STRIKES AGAIN” ….Wait, I thought Sam Bradford was Superman? Oh, I get it the Florida QB is Superman, OU’s is Supersam… Jesus Christ!
  • Philippines talk (knew this was coming sooner or later), “He has traveled to the Philippines numerous times, helped needy children, fed poor people, lived in a leper colony (WHAT?!?!?!) he is just a remarkable human being!”… I am fucking sick to my stomach
  • Announcer is talking about “galloping offenses”, I am drunk and annoyed, and I give up. Turning the game off, everything said from here on is going to be more painful than the last 3 hours


  • Tebow gets an unsportsmanlike at the end of the game…real fucking classy!!! The announcers proceed to say “That might be the worst thing he has ever done in his life” I FUCKING HATE FOX! IF THAT WAS ANYONE ELSE THEY WOULD BE RIPPING HIM! Now they are blaming it on the OU guy now, “Tebow must have been the second guy in”... Wow, have sports really come to this?
  • More Philippines talk, “Remember, kids are named after him”… Why don’t you mention the fact that he just rubbed it in the face of the opposing team?
  • DID FLORIDA JUST CALL A FUCKING TIMEOUT WITH 22 SECONDS LEFT AND A 10 POINT LEAD?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?... Does it get any less classy? I am sure there will be no mention of this though.

Note: If I were any player on OU, I would punch Tebow and Meyer in their fucking jaw.

Note: Game over, I am pissed, drunk and typing up this post.

  • I am barely paying attention but the press conference is on and someone just asked Bradford if “Tebow is more impressive to watch in person than he is on film?”... I don’t think I would have the patience for this bullshit. Bradford answers with class “Well to be honest, I play offense so I don’t want much film on their offense or really watch them when they are on the field”.

Note: It gets worse on College Game Day... I don’t even know what to say.



  1. your blog is very nice......

  2. Wow, goooooood girl. It's incredibly ironic that you would leave that comment on the above story. That post was a lot of things, the least of which was "nice".

  3. Also the annoucers were hoisting Favrian-level praise on Tebow. Is he the Brett Favre of College Football? Everyone he plays with magically tries harder simply because of his presence. He's a "tough guy" who "has fun out there".

    Get this kid a fucking sponsorship with Lee Jeans and we are all set.

  4. I heard that Tebow has a few jorts endorsements already.

  5. The main problem, is fox doesn't broadcast any college football all season so you have these fucktards that have no idea what they are doing announcing the biggest games of the year.

  6. Fack,

    You are a idiot. Actually thats an insult to idiots. Sure the announcers were not that good, but no need to bash on Tebow.

    The announcers were giving plenty of praise to Oklahoma as well. Especially Gresham (who will be a monster in the NFL) and Bradford.

    Also the Gators called a timeout because they did not have enough players on the field. The 11th player was running on too late for the Take The Knee "Safe" play. Its their right to take a timeout.

    Oh and just to Drive you over the edge ... Tebow is not Superman ... but Tebow is such an awesome athlete that Superman wears Tim Tebow pajamas to bed.