Tuesday, January 6, 2009

The Curse of the Great Giambino?

In (hopefully) the last event ever at old Yankee Stadium, the Pinstripes formally introduced Mark Teixiera. Formalizing this historic offseason in the closing of unquestionably a supernatural building, I feel is going to ensure at least 10 years of something. Pretty much all signs are pointing to a Yankees Resurrection - guided by C.C., A.J., and Tesh - filling in the major gaps that have plagued the Yanks the past few years.

However, I can't help but feel the exact opposite. It was announced that Tesh will be wearing the great number 25, donned by the golden banana hammock himself, Jason Giambi. I don't care how serviceable he was when he got up to the plate - this Generation Y bash brother was such a drag on the Bronx. I can't help but let out a sigh of relief with such a haunted decision. Cash's greatest move of the offseason would be getting on the horn and pleading with Donnie Baseball for permission to un-retire his #23, which Tesh has worn with the Rangers, Braves and Angels. I can't wait to go home and pour myself a brew to toast 10 more years of Red Sox prominence.


  1. I almost feel bad for the Red Sox, you won a couple WS, and now no one gives a flying fuck about your organization anymore.

    There is no more story line there for ESPN to push down our throats. Congratulations, you are now as relevant as the AZ Diamond Backs.

  2. Terrific use of the "John Tesh" tag.